Dear Pook,
i want to convince my girlfriend of the benefits of anal sex. Now you are an experienced man. What should I do/say?

dear pookie,

i am a real cunt to everyone but in my heart i love every single person dearly. i have problems expresing this. what sould i do?

van morrison, your mums bed.

Croatia has the most wonderful women I have seen. And with wonderful I mean great "balcony". My girlfriend concurs.

hey pookie,

all these years i'm startin' to feel loneley, so i was wondering if it was time to reveal myself to the public again. i want to end those myths about me dying in the can.

shake it baby!

elvis "a picture of me with bigfoot gets you $15 000" presley

danke schoene ,everybody says that croatian are the most beuthiful girl ..maybe... but i saw fucking good italian girls ,,fuck they are wonderful...but stupid!

Get yourself an Edgar Allan


You should, because he also refuses to die.


I do, I do. You're not alone.

What,because perhaps they shunned you?

Dear Pookie,
I haven't decided about my tipple of choice tonight.Any advice?

Regards

Lulu De La Fayette

Dear Pookie.

I'm terribly shy. What's the best way to pursuade Moustachioed Germans to suck my dong in a public toilet?

Yours,

Peter Palimpsest.

Dear Pookie..

10 years ago my husband left me and 5 years ago the kids melted, i've started dating a 48 stone trucker called "Big Al" who spends a lot of time on the road. He swears to me he's true but why do i feel so blue? How can i keep the man when my vagina is drooping about 2 inches from the floor at all times?

Mrs Baggy Box

Sorry, you've entered the wrong website, you need:

www.sexinchrist.com


Don't worry, everybody knows you're a real cunt, you express it very well.


Yes, but come back as cool young elvis please. And be warned:

 

dear pookie,

i have a poisonous snake and fat greasy men fetish, but last time my 400 pound boyfriend, our pet cobra sparkle and me tried to make sweet sweet love, i just couldn't get it up. do you think it has anything to do with the 68 snake bites i have received in my willy and what should i do?

conrad "skinny" ries-myers.

slough

Try this one:

 

Try and stop them.

Dir Pookie, i have a preference for that kind of fellatio pictures, where the fellatricis nose is held by the guy. Is this yet normal?

Gulasch Noir
Vienna

dear pookie,

i have terrible water retention in my ankles, is this due to the menapause?

margaret swathord, hampshire.

Dear pookie....oh,sorry i wanted to drop a line to poochie!


p.s. are you his punk brother?


erwina dementia

That shouldn't be a problem if his name is anything to go by.


Tell your boyfriend to stop biting your willy.

Dear Pookie,

I'm afraid of the sun! Why is it such a cunt? Tell it to fuck off. The fucking bastard.

Graham Nascent.

Dear Pookie,
I have a small willy and the doctor told me that it wont grow any bigger either.I'm 45 years old and have been waiting for some miracles to happen for years to no avail.The choice of remedies is varied but they don't seem to work for me so i'm contemplating the idea of having plastic surgery to have it replaced.Any good words for me?

Yours

Barbarous Zappa

Bora Bora

dear pookie,

i'm an existentialist and i have read the works of the greats and the more obscure thinkers, yet i'm still feeling a little empty on the subject; i've had many a sleepless night trying to figure it out but i just can't stop thinking about it.

so, i ask you, twizzlers or red vines?

ferdinand "barney" chernovetzky.

st. petersburg, russia.