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porkmarras 09.09.2006 09:45 AM

Ask Pookie
 
Since i haven't gone out to get the paper yet,i've decided that pookie shall answer all the important and relevant questions concerning my life and so you should too.Here Pookie gives advice on marriage,mortgage,bank loans,girl/boy problems,gayness,sex and the like.So........
Dear pookie,
I'm feeling a bit frisky.What should i do?

Barbara Antonia

London

Glice 09.09.2006 09:48 AM

Dear Pookie,

My toenails are slightly skew-wiff on my left foot. What should I do?

Yours,

Trevor Mellifluous, Hull.

Pookie 09.09.2006 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by porkmarras
Dear pookie,
I'm feeling a bit frisky.What should i do?

Barbara Antonia

London


Find a horny Italian, if that's not a tautology.

porkmarras 09.09.2006 09:52 AM

Dear Pookie,
My bus is always packed in the morning.Should i start using the tube?

Kind Regards

Roger Erogenous

Turnbridge Wells

Pookie 09.09.2006 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glice
Dear Pookie,

My toenails are slightly skew-wiff on my left foot. What should I do?

Yours,

Trevor Mellifluous, Hull.


I think you'll find that's "skew-whiff" Mr. Mellifluous.

And how do you know it's not the right foot's toenails that are in the wrong?

Glice 09.09.2006 09:56 AM

Dear Pookie,

I have a bizarre obsession with a cock-obsessed fictional internet person. Should I let him bum me?

Yours,

Nigella Lawson.

jon boy 09.09.2006 09:58 AM

dear pookie,

my mouth is always very dry and i drink lots of water. can you give me any advice as to how to overcome this?

sue gekalois, wrexham.

Pookie 09.09.2006 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roger Erogenous
Dear Pookie,
My bus is always packed in the morning.Should i start using the tube?

Kind Regards

Roger Erogenous

Turnbridge Wells


No

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nigella Lawson
Dear Pookie,

I have a bizarre obsession with a cock-obsessed fictional internet person. Should I let him bum me?

Yours,

Nigella Lawson.


Yes

Quote:

Originally Posted by sue gekalois

dear pookie,

my mouth is always very dry and i drink lots of water. can you give me any advice as to how to overcome this?

sue gekalois, wrexham.


Why would you want to overcome drinking lots of water?

porkmarras 09.09.2006 10:08 AM

Dear Pookie,
I've found an old smelly shoe in the attic the other day.Should i flog it or use it for sexual purposes?

Mariella Butt

Wigan

Everyneurotic 09.09.2006 10:11 AM

dear pookie,

i'm not even going to try to be funny, i need money, fast.

gill chesterson

sussex

Glice 09.09.2006 10:11 AM

Dear Pookie,

I sometimes like to have ice with my G & T, sometimes not. Should I?

Yours,

Constantine Clarence-Toppington-Smithington, Burnham.

Pookie 09.09.2006 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mariella Butt
Dear Pookie,
I've found an old smelly shoe in the attic the other day.Should i flog it or use it for sexual purposes?

Mariella Butt

Wigan


Use it for flogging.

Quote:

Originally Posted by gill chesterton
dear pookie,

i'm not even going to try to be funny, i need money, fast.

gill chesterson

sussex


I'm sorry gill, but if you're not even going to TRY to be funny...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Constantine Clarence-Toppington-Smithington
Dear Pookie,

I sometimes like to have ice with my G & T, sometimes not. Should I?

Yours,

Constantine Clarence-Toppington-Smithington, Burnham.


Yes you should sometimes & sometimes not.

And while we're at it, go to the beach in Burnham and deflate the fucking bouncy castle that my daughter broke her ankle on.

jon boy 09.09.2006 10:18 AM

dear pookie,

i have a terrible rash on the sould of myright foot. its been there for a few months now, any advice?

richard water, leicester.

porkmarras 09.09.2006 10:19 AM

Dear Pookie,
I cannae find me glasses.Help!

Yours

Retarda Woollenball

East Ham

jon boy 09.09.2006 10:20 AM

(this is becoming my favourite thread)

Pookie 09.09.2006 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard water
dear pookie,

i have a terrible rash on the sould of myright foot. its been there for a few months now, any advice?

richard water, leicester.


Generally, the longer you've had a rash, the more likely you need to see a doctor if you're concerned about it. Deciding if that mole you've had on your skin for the past twenty years is looking cancerous or not is something you want an expert to do.

Most of the time a rash that has been present for a couple of days will go away on its own. Warning signs that should send you to the doctor sooner rather than later are pain, rapid swelling causing shortness of breath, bleeding blisters in the mouth or eyes, skin that is rapidly turning dusky or black, and large amounts of skin peeling in sheets.

Pookie 09.09.2006 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retarda Woollenball
Dear Pookie,
I cannae find me glasses.Help!

Yours

Retarda Woollenball

East Ham


They'll be in the last place you look.

Everyneurotic 09.09.2006 10:23 AM

dear pookie,

i have little to no will power; in fact, i can't gather the energies i need to go to the can whenever nature calls. so my question is, should i buy a can of onion soup to piss while watching the telly?

hassan "butch" al-akrut.

cheesequake, new jersey.

Glice 09.09.2006 10:23 AM

Dear Pookie,

I REFUSE TO DIE. Should I do a duet with Robbie Williams?

Yours,

Bono, in space. That's right, space, that's how rich I am, pauper.

space_monkey 09.09.2006 10:24 AM

dragi pookie i have a problem!

vec dosta dugo nemam curu,nikako nemogu naći ,u depresiji sam ,sta da radim? niko me neće ,zar sam ružan??
pozdrav ! ! ! you must understand that


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