You big girl's blouse.

Definitely do nothing.

Better still, a variation on The Golden Shot.

Because what's the alternative?

Mos definitely def.

Knuckle sandwich?

Dear Pookie,

Did you grandmother really used to say this? Why?

Yours
Prince Harry of Windsor

dear pookie,

i was thinking of getting a mail order bride. russian or thai?

lester cribbins, setaon carew.

Your question was long and wordy, so I removed some words, to get to the crux. And the answer is a categorical, Go for it!

Are you questioning my old grandmother's wisdom?

Why shouldn't I? You should hear some of the things people say about my gran.

All the best,
Hazza.

As my old grandmother used to say, "Don't go russian to thai the knot". Oh, how we would laugh.

Dear Pookie,

What's the best way to prevent spoilage when preserving a brain in a jar?

My collection of brutal dictators is starting to smell a little gamey (despite the deep freeze).

Taxidermically Puzzled,

The Shaw of Antarctica

dear spookie:

i have been contemplating this for the past couple of days; since keith said he snorted his dad, i have been wanting to do the same. should i go for it as fast as i can?

yours sincerely

johnny depp

dear spookie:

if it itches, is it a message from jesus telling me to slaughter all the neighborhood cats?

dean ferguson

dear pookie,

when washing off blood from your car, whats better a pressure washer or a ordinary mit?

sincerely,
Lord Alibaski

Talking of cursing mutes:

A deaf mute walks into a pharmacy to buy condoms, but has difficulty communicating with the pharmacist, and can't see the condoms on the shelf.

Frustrated, he finally unzips his trousers, places his dick on the counter, and puts down a five pound note next to it.
The pharmacist unzips his trousers, does the same as the deaf-mute, and then picks up both notes and stuffs them in his pocket.
Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign language. "Look," the pharmacist says, "if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't bet."

No! Snort your own dad's ashes.

Dear Pookie

Seeing as it is easter and my grandparents haven't seen me in a while, do you think they'll send me some money???

Are we talking jock itch here? If so, it's Jesus telling you to take a bath. Slaughtering all the neighbourhood cats will only exacerbate the problem.