[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

never expected you or anyone else here to care about Burning Man (although you sincerely should).

that's like a mormon sincerely telling you that you should care about the mormon church-- may work for him, but do you want to?

mmmm.... lobster...

 

look at the happiness in these fuckers' faces

 

[EVOLghost]

DAFUQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I..R..S SENT ME ANOTHER LETTER!!!

lol.

fuck.

They claim that I made almost twice as much as I did in 20XX. I think they might've confused me with my cousin(same first and last name)...because it turns out he made the amount the I..R...S is claiming the amount they think I made....fuuuck.


I hope I can fix this...becuase I really didn't make that much in 20XX...

[floatingslowly]

How dare you compare Burning Man to mormonism.

Have I told the story of how they (mormons) tried to toss me into their bubbling vat in order to baptize dead people (likely, holocaust survivors)? I'm sure I have. I love talking about how I got the scar on my hand.

Also, girlgun was certainly right about one thing: fucking sea-spiders.

Originally Posted by EVOLghost

DAFUQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I..R..S SENT ME ANOTHER LETTER!!!

lol.

fuck.

They claim that I made almost twice as much as I did in 20XX. I think they might've confused me with my cousin(same first and last name)...because it turns out he made the amount the I..R...S is claiming the amount they think I made....fuuuck.


I hope I can fix this...becuase I really didn't make that much in 20XX...

lol@mexicans

[EVOLghost]

I know... I sometimes wish we weren't so predictable :/....

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

How dare you compare Burning Man to mormonism.

how? i just, you know, do it. like.. it's not hard. let me try again: all cults are alike, yours included. or: same shit, different groupthink. or: you believe! big fucking woopteedoo!

anyway, by all means enjoy your alterna-pallooza, but please, don't insist, i'm not buying. if we all wanted the same thing there wouldn't be enough to go around. plus, we need a place to put the hippies around memorial day, so i support the existence of such event. i just won't be a part of it.

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

Have I told the story of how they (mormons) tried to toss me into their bubbling vat in order to baptize dead people (likely, holocaust survivors)? I'm sure I have. I love talking about how I got the scar on my hand.

you just did. but that's hilarious! bubbling vat? details, please. are we talking hot soup, or club soda? and what was the relation between you AND the dead people? if you love talking about it, don't wait another minute.

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

Also, girlgun was certainly right about one thing: fucking sea-spiders.

incomprehensible, but i like girlgun, so yes

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

lol@mexicans

gotta say--he was asking for it

[Rob Instigator]

Mexican chicks have some of the top-notch bush around. http://hairymex.tumblr.com

gotta love those sea spiders! Seafood rules all. as a native of a small island, seafood is my nectar of life.

crabs, shrimp, lobster, and all those edible water bugs rule.

[floatingslowly]

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

you just did. but that's hilarious! bubbling vat? details, please. are we talking hot soup, or club soda? and what was the relation between you AND the dead people? if you love talking about it, don't wait another minute.

The Mormons use Boy Scouts (of America) to baptize dead people AS MORMON. They toss you into this vat, and dunk you down using the name of someone who’s passed without being baptized (Mormon). They got into a real row with the Anti-Defamation League just a few years back because they were doing it to HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS!!! Needless to say, the people representing said holocaust victims, did not want their kin “made Mormon” posthumously.

I refused the vat, and told them what they can do with it. This led to me being encircled by a Footloose loving group of scouts who decided that this would be a good time to laugh at the “non-mormon”. I came out punching, but sadly, chose the mouth of the kid with braces. My hand still bears the scar.

Utah was like another world. In English class, the kids who wore suits on “Missionary Day” got extra credit on their FINAL EXAM and the local news broadcast a “story” about the President of “THE CHURCH” having a revelation from God the previous night, where he was told that “GOOD MORMONS should not drink caffeine, but if they do, would they please choose Coca-Cola” (THE CHURCH had just purchased the bottling plant). Toss-in a giant magic-casting white salamander that lives in the woods outside of Chicago, and brother, have you got FUN.

[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

The Mormons use Boy Scouts (of America) to baptize dead people AS MORMON. They toss you into this vat, and dunk you down using the name of someone who’s passed without being baptized (Mormon). They got into a real row with the Anti-Defamation League just a few years back because they were doing it to HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS!!! Needless to say, the people representing said holocaust victims, did not want their kin “made Mormon” posthumously.

I refused the vat, and told them what they can do with it. This led to me being encircled by a Footloose loving group of scouts who decided that this would be a good time to laugh at the “non-mormon”. I came out punching, but sadly, chose the mouth of the kid with braces. My hand still bears the scar.

Utah was like another world. In English class, the kids who wore suits on “Missionary Day” got extra credit on their FINAL EXAM and the local news broadcast a “story” about the President of “THE CHURCH” having a revelation from God the previous night, where he was told that “GOOD MORMONS should not drink caffeine, but if they do, would they please choose Coca-Cola” (THE CHURCH had just purchased the bottling plant). Toss-in a giant magic-casting white salamander that lives in the woods outside of Chicago, and brother, have you got FUN.

i knew they "baptize" (as if!) "the dead" (as if!) but i had no idea they used LIVE CONDUITS for that. speaking of mormons, i tried watching "big love" but it was so fucking dismal i coudn't get into it, even though it was a HOBO show. we wuz like "fuck those people!" (sorry, chloe sevigny, if you're reading this).

[floatingslowly]

I think you might appreciate the documentary "Cleanflix". It's good for a laugh, at the expense of the moralistic twats who are ok with gore but not the word "penis". You can stream it from Netflix.

Utah fucked me up for life. I've been an antisocial jerk ever since.

[Rob Instigator]

I too say FUCK BIG LOVE. the wife watches it. I tell her they an all eat diseased dick.

[floatingslowly]

Introduce her to your heina, and get it on, Salt Lake style.

Of maybe, she'd like an additional husband???

[Bytor Peltor]

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

The Mormons use Boy Scouts (of America) to baptize dead people AS MORMON. They toss you into this vat, and dunk you down using the name of someone who’s passed without being baptized (Mormon). They got into a real row with the Anti-Defamation League just a few years back because they were doing it to HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS!!! Needless to say, the people representing said holocaust victims, did not want their kin “made Mormon” posthumously.

I refused the vat, and told them what they can do with it. This led to me being encircled by a Footloose loving group of scouts who decided that this would be a good time to laugh at the “non-mormon”. I came out punching, but sadly, chose the mouth of the kid with braces. My hand still bears the scar.

Utah was like another world. In English class, the kids who wore suits on “Missionary Day” got extra credit on their FINAL EXAM and the local news broadcast a “story” about the President of “THE CHURCH” having a revelation from God the previous night, where he was told that “GOOD MORMONS should not drink caffeine, but if they do, would they please choose Coca-Cola” (THE CHURCH had just purchased the bottling plant). Toss-in a giant magic-casting white salamander that lives in the woods outside of Chicago, and brother, have you got FUN.

First off, it would be so much more cooler if they were actually baptizing cadavers. Mormons and the State of Utah are the biggest of the big when it comes to genealogy. They present it as our way of fully understanding your family history. The reality is, they are compiling their "master list" to baptize all souls Mormon......Rob Instigator will be pissed!

Second, is the rest of your story true?

[jon boy]

this city is destroying its art culture in favor of condo's and its shit. there are so few places left to do anthing remotely creative or places to play that dont get shut down almost straight away. even places that have licenses have ridiculous laws and rules like 'no alcohol on the stage' which is fair i guess but someone rested a beer on the edge of the stage and the place closed within a week. in the few years i have lived here i have seen the closure of at least a dozen places that will never return and condo's erected in their place that are sold to foreign property investors. absolute and complete greed. to have a show you now have to break the law.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/...rticle7139364/

[floatingslowly]

Originally Posted by Bytor Peltor

First off, it would be so much more cooler if they were actually baptizing cadavers. Mormons and the State of Utah are the biggest of the big when it comes to genealogy. They present it as our way of fully understanding your family history. The reality is, they are compiling their "master list" to baptize all souls Mormon......Rob Instigator will be pissed!

Second, is the rest of your story true?

It's all true. Well, not true in the fact that Coke is somehow morally superior to Pepsi, but true in the fact that as spoken by their president, it's considered prophecy (or was at the time), and it's stuck with me all of my life.

That geneology vault is up Little Cottonwood Canyon and is highly guarded. It's 600 feet into solid granite, and who knows what else is in there.

Beyond the giant magic salamander, my favorite is The Oath of Vengeance. Although some in the upper-echelons would have you believe that the practice has ceased (much like polygamy), I think it's fair to say that they are full of shit, and I'm quite sure that a certain recent presidential candidate has taken the vow. I know you may have preferred him to what we got, but please believe me when I say that you narrowly averted disaster.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oath_of_vengeance

[SuchFriendsAreDangerous]

Originally Posted by jon boy

this city is destroying its art culture in favor of condo's and its shit. there are so few places left to do anthing remotely creative or places to play that dont get shut down almost straight away. even places that have licenses have ridiculous laws and rules

 

Welcome to Los Angelization

[Rob Instigator]

The Mormon church has been accused of being one of the biggest Satanic cults currently in power.

[floatingslowly]

People who accuse others of being in "a satanic cult" often have greater problems than the accused.

Mormons strive to become the god of their own planet, making "spirit babies" with their countless wives, in an effort to create custom-order worshippers.

They may be a lot of things, but Satanic they are not. Mostly, they are good people, striving to do what they perceive as right (albeit in a horribly misguided way). The same could likely be said for all of us.

[Bytor Peltor]

NOT salinity......sanity

[Rob Instigator]

Not the rank and file Mormons. The accusations are aimed at the inner cabal, the top secret tip top folks who run the show and dictate to Mormons what's what.

[!@#$%!]

where the fuck did the lobster go, dammit!!