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Old 07.03.2009, 01:01 AM   #17421
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I take that back. I could have wrote this one:
“…I know you will never say anything to me. I just can’t help but wonder what is it, exactly, that you’re thinking when you’re speaking to me. Your eyes seem to say things your mouth won’t let you.”
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Old 07.03.2009, 01:01 AM   #17422
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“I have something to tell you…”
“…I don’t think this is right for me. I want to be, I need to be, studying photography.”
“…I could write volumes upon volumes of my sheer hatred for you. The amount of cruelty, abuse, humiliation, and heartbreak that I’ve endured while with you will never completely leave me. You disgust me.”
“…I know you will never say anything to me. I just can’t help but wonder what is it, exactly, that you’re thinking when you’re speaking to me. Your eyes seem to say things your mouth won’t let you.”
“…I’m sorry for how I have been lately. You truly are a wonderful person and I can see my life with you and your family. Please be patient with me while I sort my mind out. I know you will, but I shouldn’t assume so. I do love you, I’m not entirely sure why I’m holding it back all of a sudden. Just know how much I love you beneath all the madness.”
“…I’m not convinced he’s the man for you. Please don’t marry him.”
“…I really was a bratty child and teenager. You have done nothing but love me and bail me out every single time. I’m sorry, please forgive me.”
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Old 07.03.2009, 01:02 AM   #17423
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hate that I love you, because I’m with someone who is so good for me, and I love him too. But I can’t help but think about you sometimes, and I miss you so much, and I know we’d make a great couple and we’d be almost perfect for each other, but I don’t want to risk breaking up with him and then going through the same bullshit I went through with you 2 years ago, and have nothing left. It just pisses me off so much because you’ve changed so much since 2 years ago, and you’ve become such a wonderful person, and it’s so hard for me to not imagine my life with you. I know you understand and you want me to stay with my boyfriend, and I know that it hurts you when I talk about him or even when the topic of him comes up, because I know you love me too, but I have to talk about him with you, otherwise I feel like I’m cheating on him. I want to talk about him with you because it makes me think about him and about why I love him so much and why he’s so perfect for me. I can’t not love you, it’s impossible for me to not love you, because there are things about you that he doesn’t have, and there are things that I love about you that I don’t love about him, but the point is that I’m with him now, and I’ve been with him for over a year, and I love him so much and I want a life with him, and I’m certain about him, but I’m not certain about you. You change your mind a lot, and you make spontaneous decisions, and as much as I love that about you, I can’t spend my whole life on spur-of-the-moment choices. I know how much of a big deal it is for you to tell someone you love them, and I know it was a really big deal for you to tell me, but if you had realized you loved me sooner (because I always knew you did), I would never have gotten together with him. And I hate myself for thinking that.
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Old 07.03.2009, 01:02 AM   #17424
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Last night when we were standing by my car, you smoking a cigarette, me leaning back to look at the stars…
I caught you watching me.
‘What?’
‘Nothing… Just thinking…’
I went back to looking at the stars without asking what you were thinking about.
But I wanted to know.
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Old 07.03.2009, 01:03 AM   #17425
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i’m talking to this adorable, sweet guy .. who has a girlfriend .. who my best friend has a crush on. i know he wants me, but i’m really not that into him. i feel like leading him on just to feel superior to the other girls. i know how wrong that is, but it’s a self esteem boost i rarely get.
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Old 07.03.2009, 01:03 AM   #17426
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I’m more miserable with you then I am with out you, but I want to be with you so much, want this to work so badly, that I’m just suffering.
I’m depressed. I’m the most alone that I’ve ever been, and I can’t say anything to anyone, because I know what they will say. And I don’t want to leave you.
I wish the world would just swallow me whole, because the pure nothingness that that would entail would feel infinitely better then this.
I am alone, and I am depressed, because I have the one thing I’ve always wanted. You.
I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know if being with you is worth this much pain.
I’m sorry.
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Old 07.03.2009, 01:03 AM   #17427
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I think, just maybe, that I’m depressed. I have random bouts of sadness, have cried myself to sleep off and on for months, and feel generally hollow inside. But my life is the best it has ever been. I should feel alive, blessed, and thankful. I try to act like I’m on top of the world. And I can’t tell anyone I’m falling from grace because it’d either hurt them, or they’d call me dumb because it is dumb….. =/
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Old 07.03.2009, 01:04 AM   #17428
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Im not the one needing another chance. I thought you were a smart girl. That problem you have dont worry it will go away one day. It may be years from now and with no warning so be ready its painful.
Adieu to you both
I didn’t write that! I want you two to stay together, I am happy for him if he is happy with you. As long as he is happy. That is all. I will never ever do anything about what I am feeling as long as you two are together. I promise you that.
But, there is nothing I can do about the times our eyes meet. That just happens. And I will continue to be his friend (without benefits) and hopefully your friend too.
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Old 07.03.2009, 01:04 AM   #17429
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I’m so happy I found you, that we don’t hate each other anymore. You’re an amazing girl and I am so lucky you’re mine. I love you with all I have and I just want you to see that, I do. I know sometimes I don’t act like it, and I fuck up a lot but you’ve helped me so much. You really are a true hero, and you have saved me more than once.
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Old 07.03.2009, 01:04 AM   #17430
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I am hungry. I am going to make Ramen Noodles. I will then be full. Please God forgive me.
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Old 07.03.2009, 01:05 AM   #17431
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I have a positive pregnancy test in eye-view.
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Old 07.03.2009, 01:07 AM   #17432
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last night my boyfriend called 20 times and i ignored every call, its not that i dont love him i just dont feel like talking at 4am that and you tell me you dont want to lose me and you always think im cheating on you, every time you accuse me of doing something like that its just about the same as calling me a whore and when i asked you why you do it you just said that things are too good or that your testing me to see what i say..i just dont see why i have to earn your trust when you say everyday you love me or is that just some kinda test i kinda just want to give up on you but your too emotional and theres no telling what you would do…. i really need some help, because i have no idea what to do about him
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Old 07.03.2009, 01:31 AM   #17433
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bnvhgccxfdgfhgcjhvkbjnk., bmvhuig;k.m n
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Old 07.03.2009, 01:56 AM   #17434
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is the guy from american psycho supposed to get his girl groups totally mixed up, or is this just shitty editing? like, he says the crystals did be my baby, and that some vandellas song is the shirelles...

(why does this bother me, for fuck's sake?)
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Old 07.03.2009, 02:15 AM   #17435
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tonight feels really weird. i'm not tired at all despite having slept maybe three hours last night. like, i'm sleepy but not tired. i can't describe it.

actually, fourth of july is an original twilight zone marathon! today they showed the shitty '80s series.
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Old 07.03.2009, 02:20 AM   #17436
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i'm excited, sci-fi does this three or four times a year and i missed it last time. ee.

i'm just going to sit up all night.
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fuck i'm frustrated, freaking out something fierce, would you help me? i'm hungry and i stuffer and i startle, i struggle and i stammer til i'm up to my ears in miserable quote unquote "art"
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Old 07.03.2009, 02:29 AM   #17437
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tonight does feel weird... i was in bed at like, eight fuckin' thirty. but i woke up around midnight. i don't feel tired at all right now.
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Old 07.03.2009, 02:30 AM   #17438
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i am doing some slightly erratic shit that i would only think of when i'm tired, but otherwise... yeah, not tired.
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Old 07.03.2009, 02:47 AM   #17439
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i'm just playing freecell and drinking cherry coke zero. like. i'm going nuts.
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fuck i'm frustrated, freaking out something fierce, would you help me? i'm hungry and i stuffer and i startle, i struggle and i stammer til i'm up to my ears in miserable quote unquote "art"
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Old 07.03.2009, 03:10 AM   #17440
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cheer up dudes!
 

 
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