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Old 09.01.2017, 10:47 AM   #40881
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Originally Posted by evollove
Ate you using ADD in the medical sense, or are you just saying you've been having trouble concentrating?

Clinical psychologists will tell you it's dangerous to use "ADD" as a synonym for "easily distracted," or "OCD" as a synonym for "clean." Undermines and downplays the severity of the condition.

I'm not a clinical psychologist, so I won't tell you that. And I know you weren't doing that, and that Symbols wasn't, but I wanted to interject something to distance myself from the confession booth.
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Old 09.01.2017, 11:03 AM   #40882
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Originally Posted by !@#$%!
good! never trust the internet. it's mostly a bunch of dicks. they're your friend one day and the next one they wanna put a pitchfork up your ass.

priests in history have been pressure to break the... what's it called... confessional seal? something. and when they resisted...

see here, quick google: http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/ne...fession-44847/


Oh yah ok, I gotcha. I just didn't know what you meant. It wasn't clear to me that you were talking about priests breaking the seal. I was thinking militant Protestant reformation shit, like people being jailed or something for trying to confess? "No quick-stepping into heaven!!" Haha. See, I really just didn't know what you were saying. Sorry.


Quote:
so, re: "sharing" like a 12-stepper, i know it's supposed to be therapeutic and all, so im not saying you're a terrible man for writing down your confessions in a public forum, but im just saying... only give your secrets to those you trust. they're not for everyone to examine, in spite of what jerry springer made the culture believe.

i keep a lot of secrets in my head, mine and other people's. mine are mine, and the other people's aren't mine to share so they don't leave this vault. they were given to me alone and i honor that.

okay but here a funny story: one time i was fucking this guy's wife and the guy showed up unexpected and i came out in my shorts and i was fucking nervous cuz i knew where he kept the shotguns. then i witnessed the weirdest marriage discussion i've ever witnessed. but im not fucking saying because that's not my story, i was just in the middle, not believing my eyes and ears.

for many years i wanted to be a writer but i'm never gonna be a writer, i know. i just hate to gossip/ spill the beans/ "share". cuz most people... are jackals ha ha ha. and they will eat your soul. but seriously. even non-jackals will turn into jackals when prompted. a nice bunch of people will turn into a jackal horde at the drop of a hat. yes, like your batman movie. i have little faith in the human species. fucking apes! anyway... best luck with all that.

I'm pretty much in full agreement with you on this. You're right.

Not just the internet... though it's definitely the internet, and I'm guarded as fuck about certain things because I have been fucked wth before in a scary and serious way (as I think I've told you). But it's just life. People are untrustworthy. I live in a mostly-rural area for the first time ever, and it's even worse in these little places. You really have to watch your fucking ass, because people are bored and people are awful and they'll fuck with your life if you piss them off.

I've always wanted to be a writer too. Like, an author... but I'm too fucking private. I'd have todo it under an alias and not tell anyone I know.

Also, I think 12-step is culturally self-indulgent, self-congratulatory, restrictive, reductive, and potentially dangerous. When it comes to addiction issues at least. You're just arming people against you, and backing yourself into a corner when you buy into that shit completely. I've seen it mess a lot of people up. It also strikes me as scientifically unsound. It's like a social quarantine model for dealing with these complicated personal issues. Quarantines may help the people outside the bubble, but the disease just spreads and reproduces and evolves inside the bubble, and the people who are actually quarantined are usually fucked. (The "disease" analogy is incidental here. I personally think almost all addiction issues are a result of bad luck and obsessive compulsive tendencies. Bad luck being, like, getting into a car accident and needing morphine for a while. If someone has symptoms of an anxiety disorder like obsessive or compulsive thought/behavior, that morphine might become a problem really goddamn fast. Faster than it would for someone without those characteristics. But really, if you give ANYONE morphine every day for a week, they're going to have an issue when you take it away. I just think some people are primed biochemically to be shittier at dealing with the problem. I do not think addiction itself is a true "disease." But what do I know.)

Nah. I have no interest in pursuing 12-steppy shit.
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Old 09.01.2017, 12:03 PM   #40883
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Originally Posted by Severian
Good luck in Seattle. If everything crashes and burns, I know many people there who would put you up. For serious. If you're cool. Hopefully that doesn't happen. But pm me if you lose everything or something.


shit man...didn't see this. but wow. I really appreciate it.

Anyways....back from the dead. This move to Seattle was quite perfect. Not many challenges....NOWHERE near what my girlfriend and had thought. The drive was super easy and comfortable....got hotels with no hassle about our pets....once we arrived in Seattle...we found a great apartment about 15 miles north of downtown. We have everything we need around us and our animals are loving this new scenery. We live not too far from a small beach. There are whale, seal sightings from there too....pretty exciting and hoping I see a fucking whale. Anyway....a day or two before the move I randomly go on craigslist and found a guy who was selling his arcade hardware collection. Basically....a shitton of stuff. When we talked, he immediately dropped the price by a butt ton(other people wanted seperate shit but he's moving and wanted to get rid of the lot). Anyway....so I decided to pull the trigger and got like two arcade cabinets, along with 6 arcade boards(with like 13 games, two of which don't work, but easy fixes). This guy could've seriously pulled almost double of what I paid had he sold everything separately . Anyways....sold an arcade cabinet and got another one for this guy back in Illinois. Made a lot of money back and basically got a bunch of shit for dirt cheap. Gonna sell more stuff to maybe end up with all this gear for free. Anyway....I would've maybe kept the other cabinet, but it wasn't the original hardware and a pain in the ass to deal with so I just sold it. So yeah....been working with that stuff for the past couple weeks and sending out my resume. And I just accepted a job this week and will be starting this coming Tuesday. Things are going really...really...well. Oh! I might meet up with Dead-Air should time allow it sometime this month.

That's what's been up with the move. Looks like I missed quite a bit.
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Old 09.01.2017, 12:07 PM   #40884
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nice! and good trades man!

i was just recently wondering what went on with your move

cool!
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Old 09.01.2017, 12:23 PM   #40885
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Yeah man....I'm still in shock. Recent developments have been driving the prices of arcade boards(more specifically the CPS2 boards) up like crazy. Now people can mod these to play whichever games they want on ACTUAL arcade hardware(what us purists like) and not deal with emulated crap.
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Old 09.01.2017, 02:16 PM   #40886
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so you do this as a side gig or just lucked into it this time?

commerce genes + market knowledge = profit
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Old 09.02.2017, 10:36 AM   #40887
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EVOLghost
Yeah man....I'm still in shock. Recent developments have been driving the prices of arcade boards(more specifically the CPS2 boards) up like crazy. Now people can mod these to play whichever games they want on ACTUAL arcade hardware(what us purists like) and not deal with emulated crap.

Wow. Well done with the move. Are you uptown then?

What is it you do? Are you doing this buying and selling as a business endeavor? Don't have to tell me of course. You probably already mentioned this, and I've forgotten because I have hummingbird-brain.
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Old 09.02.2017, 04:08 PM   #40888
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yo in the previous page i didn't mean to criticize the 12 step movement in the least

what i meant to criticize is the foolish assumption that the world at large is your support group

2 very different things all together

group therapies and 12 step groups and other have a series of rules and rituals and admission requirements that the tv screen or a message forum simply don't.

so this is why they can't be equated. they may appear the same to the unwary and some aspects might have percolated into popular culture, but they are not the same in the least

one is a sincere collective effort towards healing and the other is just a spectacle for greedy audiences

as for my knowledge of the 12 step movement it's actually quite limited BUT i really really really liked the bradshaw book i read about it and it was priceless for me. "bradshaw on: the family" is essential for anyone who wants to understand dysfunction. yes reads a bit cheesy because it's not "intellectual" but it's very good.
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Old 09.02.2017, 06:00 PM   #40889
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Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%!
yo in the previous page i didn't mean to criticize the 12 step movement in the least

what i meant to criticize is the foolish assumption that the world at large is your support group

2 very different things all together

group therapies and 12 step groups and other have a series of rules and rituals and admission requirements that the tv screen or a message forum simply don't.

so this is why they can't be equated. they may appear the same to the unwary and some aspects might have percolated into popular culture, but they are not the same in the least

one is a sincere collective effort towards healing and the other is just a spectacle for greedy audiences

as for my knowledge of the 12 step movement it's actually quite limited BUT i really really really liked the bradshaw book i read about it and it was priceless for me. "bradshaw on: the family" is essential for anyone who wants to understand dysfunction. yes reads a bit cheesy because it's not "intellectual" but it's very good.

Understood. I, however, *was* criticizing the shit out of 12-step. Actually, no... not 12-step itself, but "recovery" culture and how it pertains to NA and AA.

Yes I have people close to me who have been personally affected by this, and I've witnessed a fuck-ton of it first hand. No I don't wanna talk about it.

I knew you weren't criticizing. I just got to bitching. And hey, isn't this thread for irrelevant stuff anyway?
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Old 09.02.2017, 07:21 PM   #40890
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yeah yeah. i just wanted to make it clear that just because we're in agreement about the public confessional i wasn't aligning myself with your opinion of aa/na

first of all because i have no experience of them. second, because the perfect is the enemy of the good and somebody may want to try it and who am i to say?

also because it's clear to us they're not the same thing, but other people might conflate them from our discussion.
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Old 09.02.2017, 08:10 PM   #40891
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Originally Posted by !@#$%!
yeah yeah. i just wanted to make it clear that just because we're in agreement about the public confessional i wasn't aligning myself with your opinion of aa/na

first of all because i have no experience of them. second, because the perfect is the enemy of the good and somebody may want to try it and who am i to say?

also because it's clear to us they're not the same thing, but other people might conflate them from our discussion.

Sure sure, I gotcha. Sorry for digressing.

My issue is mostly with "institution" of rehab and "recovery," and the fact that those institutions use NA/AA as a central bit of connecting tissue between one fraudulent part of their schemes and another (never send a relative to "sober housing" for the love of god. Never.) I'm sure NA/AA in their own can be helpful for a lot of folks. I just happen to come from an area with astronomical overdose and abuse rates, so naturally I've seen friends and family members go through the system, and "rehab" is a sordid and predatory industry in my opinion. What these people need is help that, like, doesn't come in the form of seclusion and self-deception, and doesn't feed off of the eventual, inevitable relapse that comes from 98% of addicts.
Insurance companies and doctors are very much to blame in my opinion as well.

ANYHOO...
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Old 09.06.2017, 08:31 PM   #40892
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allergies are really kicking my ass right now.
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Old 09.07.2017, 09:27 AM   #40893
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allergies are really kicking my ass right now.

Mine too, actually. I don't usually get them this bad when summer turns over to fall. I pray it's not a cold in camouflage.
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Old 09.07.2017, 02:39 PM   #40894
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yeah it seems like everybody here is coughing a lot too, could be the bad air pushed up by Harvey
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Old 09.07.2017, 02:49 PM   #40895
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fyi i got a tiny flu last week

felt tired thursday

slightly spaced out friday, with sore throat in the evening

saturday full snots teary eyes stayed in bed

sunday decongested

monday fully recovered
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Old 09.08.2017, 01:43 PM   #40896
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café bustelo is terrible

i'm disappointed
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Old 09.10.2017, 05:45 PM   #40897
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café bustelo is terrible

i'm disappointed

My girlfriend loves that stuff. And the cans. She's turned them into little art pieces. Some of them are still lining the walls.


Sad weird times for this guy.
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Old 09.10.2017, 05:59 PM   #40898
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My girlfriend loves that stuff. And the cans. She's turned them into little art pieces. Some of them are still lining the walls.


Sad weird times for this guy.
oh yeah my wife kept the can too for art projects ha ha ha

but the coffee itself tastes like burnt ass

and i'm not afraid of a little smoke-- i'm currently working through a bag of starbucks french roast wich is *pitch black*

but bustelo is just wrong somehow

granted i don't like sugar in my coffee. and supposedly bustelo needs A TON. but im not gonna get the beetus over that particular brand. makes a good compost though.

anyway, sorry about the coffee rant when you were talking about more important things

that's just such an odd situation you're in. you have my sincerest sympathies
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Old 09.11.2017, 05:14 AM   #40899
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Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%!
oh yeah my wife kept the can too for art projects ha ha ha

but the coffee itself tastes like burnt ass

and i'm not afraid of a little smoke-- i'm currently working through a bag of starbucks french roast wich is *pitch black*

but bustelo is just wrong somehow

granted i don't like sugar in my coffee. and supposedly bustelo needs A TON. but im not gonna get the beetus over that particular brand. makes a good compost though.

anyway, sorry about the coffee rant when you were talking about more important things

that's just such an odd situation you're in. you have my sincerest sympathies

No worries. I'm/we're figuring stuff out. It is painful though, even though there is nothing but love between us. No resentment. Thank god for that. But it does feel as if I've lost a limb.
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Old 09.14.2017, 05:32 AM   #40900
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I've been getting up so early and staying up so late for work lately that I don't even think my body knows what day it is anymore. How much is too much for shit money? Even if you love the work? I'm wrestling with this big time. I asked for a raise after my second all positive annual review, but I would legitimately have to ask for an additional $10k/year to really make this make sense. They're not going to give me that. Might not give me anything.

Bah.
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