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Old 04.05.2014, 01:37 PM   #38361
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Originally Posted by dead_battery
ive done it before, many times.

eventually something happens to me - sometimes it happens after a few days, sometimes after a few months. i basically break down into total depression and get really really really fucked up mentally. something happens to my brain. its just not something that i can get through without smoking. like i feel close to a total psychotic breakdown.

when i had quit for 9 months and this happened and i first had a smoke i literally felt a wave go through my body and my fucking POSTURE completely changed. there is some serious fucked up shit in my system

yeah the body doesn't detox right away from heavy smoking. i just mentioned before that it took me 8 months to rid of a minor cough-- and i wasn't even a heavy smoker.

now, re: the changes. i'm not saying that you're a schizophrenic, but schizophrenics self-medicate with cigarettes. i'm saying this as an analogy-- not to diagnose you.

this is why i suggested observing the payoff of your smoking habit. maybe you do have something for which you're unconsciously self-medicating. this is why wellbutrin (a dopaminergic) is used to help smokers quit-- it's a replacement for at least one of the functions of tobacco (not all).

i naturally have adhd and a tendency towards depression. it's genetic, i can observe it in some of my relatives. lots of heavy smokers on my mom's side--- as well as adhd. i used to do the same but i didn't know i had adhd-- now we know. but in order to quit smoking i have to self-medicate in non-toxic/less toxic ways, or hack/manage my condition, in order to function better.

this of course sounds very fucking complicated but whoever said life is supposed to be easy was fucking lying.
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Old 04.05.2014, 01:45 PM   #38362
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!@#$%!, by what he's saying, I think its something worse than just bad smokers' cough. I used to smoke rollies so I had a cough worse than Felicia in Next Friday yo.. I think he has something else and perhaps the tobacco smoke is just aggravating it. Either way, sucks.

The human body is weird, it has a lot of flaws, but its all we got, and learning to readjust to the quarks and nuances of our own individual bodies is sort of what life is about. The struggle of learning to navigate our own skin...
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Old 04.05.2014, 01:52 PM   #38363
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Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%!
yeah the body doesn't detox right away from heavy smoking. i just mentioned before that it took me 8 months to rid of a minor cough-- and i wasn't even a heavy smoker.

now, re: the changes. i'm not saying that you're a schizophrenic, but schizophrenics self-medicate with cigarettes. i'm saying this as an analogy-- not to diagnose you.

this is why i suggested observing the payoff of your smoking habit. maybe you do have something for which you're unconsciously self-medicating. this is why wellbutrin (a dopaminergic) is used to help smokers quit-- it's a replacement for at least one of the functions of tobacco (not all).

i naturally have adhd and a tendency towards depression. it's genetic, i can observe it in some of my relatives. lots of heavy smokers on my mom's side--- as well as adhd. i used to do the same but i didn't know i had adhd-- now we know. but in order to quit smoking i have to self-medicate in non-toxic/less toxic ways, or hack/manage my condition, in order to function better.

this of course sounds very fucking complicated but whoever said life is supposed to be easy was fucking lying.

thanks man, i might try wellbutrin.

i really wanted to become schizophrenic after reading too much r.d.laing at a young and impressionable age and hoping for a way to get more benefits from the government.

im at least schizoid.
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Old 04.05.2014, 02:03 PM   #38364
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dead_battery
thanks man, i might try wellbutrin.

i really wanted to become schizophrenic after reading too much r.d.laing at a young and impressionable age and hoping for a way to get more benefits from the government.

im at least schizoid.

well no, i wouldn't say try wellbutrin just like that because i don't know your condition. who knows what you're self-medicating for-- you need a full diagnosis not a wild guess (even if doctors guess, they make educated guesses-- they also, if they are decent, listen for patient feedback, e.g., "that pill doesn't work for me/ that pill works")

different conditions require different meds/regimes. think of cigarettes as a very primitive and filthy medication (lots of side effects) for an undiagnosed condition. this century has more refined/precise meds with less side effects, but they require proper diagnosis. i no longer need meds, i manage my condition "naturally" but i have an accurate diagnosis and my condition is not terrible in my context (i have worked to build my context).

i have a friend who married a schizoid dude (schizoid, not schizophrenic). he used to drink a lot, she says. if he takes his meds, however, he doesn't drink. i don't know that he takes wellbutrin though-- he takes meds for his schizoid condition.

get off the cigs and then go see a proper brain doctor when you have your symptoms. if you go as a smoker they might not be able to diagnose because you're self-medicated. makes sense? or yes, maybe you can quit with a wellbutrin xl prescription, then see what changes. talk to a doctor.

i have helped my doctors with careful self-observation and reporting. "this shit works, this shit doesn't, i think i'm taking too much" etc. i was given lithium once and it made me goofy i called the guy he said stop taking it. with the same guy i noticed that antidepressants + cigarettes + coffee + sunlight = too much antidepressant (for me). so you have to observe your brain. keep notes/keep a diary. i'm not joking.

alright gotta go right now but best wishes there.
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Old 04.05.2014, 02:28 PM   #38365
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doctors = been there done that got the irreversible side effects.

done the diary. tried med after med. read about the faked test results for ssri's, met the blank stares of nhs staff. different member of staff talks to me, recommends X med based on my symptoms, later that day another member of staff recommends Y after i say the same thing. this goes on endlessly. fuck them and their bad science
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Old 04.05.2014, 03:22 PM   #38366
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dead_battery
doctors = been there done that got the irreversible side effects.

While that sucks, in a way I'm glad you said that because I was just about to post to tell you that !@#$%! is giving good advice about doctors but personally I don't think wellburtrin or any other antidepressant therapy is good method to quit smoking because those drugs (a) often carry side-effects and (b) these drugs usually can't just be stopped, so they in a way they are addictive as well.
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Old 04.05.2014, 07:09 PM   #38367
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What helped me to quit (been good for over a year now):

Tabulate what you spend on them a month, week, whatever and put it in a bank account at each respective time interval (month, week, you get it) and make it a bank account that you can't touch.

It gives you a pretty nice little fund for something cool after a while, and it removes your means to buy the shit anyways (provided, that is, that you live on an inflexible income).

It may seem like sort of namby pamby advice, but it's helped both myself and a friend to quit.
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Old 04.05.2014, 09:11 PM   #38368
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Not gonna lie...I kind if want to 'party'....
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Old 04.05.2014, 10:48 PM   #38369
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Originally Posted by EVOLghost
Not gonna lie...I kind if want to 'party'....

Don't do it.
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Old 04.06.2014, 10:04 AM   #38370
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and I didn't...thanks to my incredibly responsible friend. Feel pretty good about it too. I don't feel like dying now!
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:13 AM   #38371
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Quote:
Originally Posted by an evening with viewtiful
What helped me to quit (been good for over a year now):

Tabulate what you spend on them a month, week, whatever and put it in a bank account at each respective time interval (month, week, you get it) and make it a bank account that you can't touch.

It gives you a pretty nice little fund for something cool after a while, and it removes your means to buy the shit anyways (provided, that is, that you live on an inflexible income).

It may seem like sort of namby pamby advice, but it's helped both myself and a friend to quit.

tried this before.

this process worked for me in a slightly different way with drugs - i sat and wrote out all the years of my life and ranked them by drug consumption/level of happiness.

i basically realized that the periods that i remembered as being the best were the ones where i had possibilities and opportunities (or at least the illusion of them) with bigger/better groups of people.

i dont really miss anything, although lsd was fun
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:14 AM   #38372
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i think i might try regulating my cig intake and slowly lowering it. seems like the only option at this point
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:20 AM   #38373
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I got a new bed. THIS SHIT IS FUCKING COMFORTABLE AS ALLLL HELLLL
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:20 AM   #38374
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i will also light cigarettes anytime i encounter someone who tells me to think positive about this shit and stub them out in their eyeballs. anyone who acts all encouraging like a hypomanic dipshit. which seems to be everyone.

anyone notice the way food is now the only moral issue certian people care about "im being so GOOD today i didnt eat any junk!". eughh
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:21 AM   #38375
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EVOLghost
I got a new bed. THIS SHIT IS FUCKING COMFORTABLE AS ALLLL HELLLL

dude, step it up a notch and get a memory foam pillow. i got one for cheaps. its so so so worth it.
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:32 AM   #38376
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dead_battery
doctors = been there done that got the irreversible side effects.

done the diary. tried med after med. read about the faked test results for ssri's, met the blank stares of nhs staff. different member of staff talks to me, recommends X med based on my symptoms, later that day another member of staff recommends Y after i say the same thing. this goes on endlessly. fuck them and their bad science

right, so you never got a proper diagnosis? i get that there is a lot of guessing and trial and error, but i always took meds in the context of therapy which helped frame and focus things… it wasn't purely a roulette. i also was lucky that had good doctors with a sense of humor, not mere bots… last prescription i got was from some cold bitch that wanted me out of there fast so i didn't use the prescription… i'm not a set of symptoms, i'm a person, and she didn't understand me enough to prescribe me anything.

i have my own story with SSRIs, even a few visionary dreams, but that's too long to tell.

anyway, in the sense that you're being abandoned by the medical system, becoming your own doctor might be your last resort. but if you already have a diagnosis it might be a good starting point. i didn't say keep a diary of your meds, but rather a diary of your cigarette habit-- what it does to you, and how you feel about it from purchase to use to withdrawal to next purchase. if you want to kill the habit, you have to stalk it first. know it inside and out, in concrete details not generalizations.

then and only then can you device hacks for each reward and find self-medication alternatives. does buying something you can easily afford give you pleasure where you're otherwise poor? find something else cheap and thrilling to buy. does smoking satisfy you orally? put something else in your mouth. does puffing help your anxiety? find a different treatment for your anxiety. does the nicotine help with concentration? does it help with depression? you could try things as varied as meditation or tweaking your soylent nutrient profile (e.g. extra tyrosine or phenylalanine which are dopamine precursors). maybe you need extra magnesium so you can sleep well. maybe you need more sunlight, or vitamin d, or omega 3, or something else. maybe you need different people around you. staying healthy in a toxic and artificial environment is not an easy thing to do. a fish in a poisoned pond doesn't need "vitamins", it needs a clean fucking pond. and yes you can't get from here to there instantly but you need to break it down into actionable steps and hammer at each one and sometimes it's like a whackamole as you take 2 steps forward and 1 step back but that's life-- a bitch. still, i like to keep punching, because to stop hurts worse.
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:37 AM   #38377
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EVOLghost
and I didn't...thanks to my incredibly responsible friend. Feel pretty good about it too. I don't feel like dying now!

huye de la puta coca, es una droga de mierda… y los coqueros son los peores amigos.
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:41 AM   #38378
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abandoned or perhaps RUNNING THE FUCK AWAY from!

use l-tyrosine already. plus magnesium and all the vitamins.

talking about better people is like taunting me with things i cant have. all these hopes and plans are fine if you have the slightest bit of security, but i dont.

i cant stand this all being directed back at my self, it needs to be directed out at the assholes profiteering from it who eventually need to be destroyed.

a cig diary thing - maybe. i can write how i feel or whatever, but my highly inaccurate introspective ideas are generated by a brain which i dont have access to. i cant see whats going on in there. we're not post human enough yet to reflect on our input and output like a computer can.

when the cig sickness randomly strikes me, which it does at some point everytime i quit, it is HELL. absolute fucking hell. i mentioned before what its like.

all i can do is try and cut down and meet targets to reduce it. if i fail i fail. there are better things to think about than a prison diary of the ways people are profiting off my addiction/eventual or perhaps already occuring slow descent into terminal illness.

or maybe you're right. i'll think about it
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:47 AM   #38379
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<koff>

Smoked about seven cigarettes while reading through the last 180 or so posts.

 


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I'm a bad duck...
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:48 AM   #38380
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i smoked more than 7 while posting them
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