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Old 04.05.2014, 09:11 PM   #37501
EVOLghost
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Not gonna lie...I kind if want to 'party'....
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Old 04.05.2014, 10:48 PM   #37502
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Originally Posted by EVOLghost
Not gonna lie...I kind if want to 'party'....

Don't do it.
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Old 04.06.2014, 10:04 AM   #37503
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and I didn't...thanks to my incredibly responsible friend. Feel pretty good about it too. I don't feel like dying now!
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:13 AM   #37504
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Quote:
Originally Posted by an evening with viewtiful
What helped me to quit (been good for over a year now):

Tabulate what you spend on them a month, week, whatever and put it in a bank account at each respective time interval (month, week, you get it) and make it a bank account that you can't touch.

It gives you a pretty nice little fund for something cool after a while, and it removes your means to buy the shit anyways (provided, that is, that you live on an inflexible income).

It may seem like sort of namby pamby advice, but it's helped both myself and a friend to quit.

tried this before.

this process worked for me in a slightly different way with drugs - i sat and wrote out all the years of my life and ranked them by drug consumption/level of happiness.

i basically realized that the periods that i remembered as being the best were the ones where i had possibilities and opportunities (or at least the illusion of them) with bigger/better groups of people.

i dont really miss anything, although lsd was fun
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:14 AM   #37505
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i think i might try regulating my cig intake and slowly lowering it. seems like the only option at this point
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:20 AM   #37506
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I got a new bed. THIS SHIT IS FUCKING COMFORTABLE AS ALLLL HELLLL
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:20 AM   #37507
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i will also light cigarettes anytime i encounter someone who tells me to think positive about this shit and stub them out in their eyeballs. anyone who acts all encouraging like a hypomanic dipshit. which seems to be everyone.

anyone notice the way food is now the only moral issue certian people care about "im being so GOOD today i didnt eat any junk!". eughh
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:21 AM   #37508
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EVOLghost
I got a new bed. THIS SHIT IS FUCKING COMFORTABLE AS ALLLL HELLLL

dude, step it up a notch and get a memory foam pillow. i got one for cheaps. its so so so worth it.
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:32 AM   #37509
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dead_battery
doctors = been there done that got the irreversible side effects.

done the diary. tried med after med. read about the faked test results for ssri's, met the blank stares of nhs staff. different member of staff talks to me, recommends X med based on my symptoms, later that day another member of staff recommends Y after i say the same thing. this goes on endlessly. fuck them and their bad science

right, so you never got a proper diagnosis? i get that there is a lot of guessing and trial and error, but i always took meds in the context of therapy which helped frame and focus things… it wasn't purely a roulette. i also was lucky that had good doctors with a sense of humor, not mere bots… last prescription i got was from some cold bitch that wanted me out of there fast so i didn't use the prescription… i'm not a set of symptoms, i'm a person, and she didn't understand me enough to prescribe me anything.

i have my own story with SSRIs, even a few visionary dreams, but that's too long to tell.

anyway, in the sense that you're being abandoned by the medical system, becoming your own doctor might be your last resort. but if you already have a diagnosis it might be a good starting point. i didn't say keep a diary of your meds, but rather a diary of your cigarette habit-- what it does to you, and how you feel about it from purchase to use to withdrawal to next purchase. if you want to kill the habit, you have to stalk it first. know it inside and out, in concrete details not generalizations.

then and only then can you device hacks for each reward and find self-medication alternatives. does buying something you can easily afford give you pleasure where you're otherwise poor? find something else cheap and thrilling to buy. does smoking satisfy you orally? put something else in your mouth. does puffing help your anxiety? find a different treatment for your anxiety. does the nicotine help with concentration? does it help with depression? you could try things as varied as meditation or tweaking your soylent nutrient profile (e.g. extra tyrosine or phenylalanine which are dopamine precursors). maybe you need extra magnesium so you can sleep well. maybe you need more sunlight, or vitamin d, or omega 3, or something else. maybe you need different people around you. staying healthy in a toxic and artificial environment is not an easy thing to do. a fish in a poisoned pond doesn't need "vitamins", it needs a clean fucking pond. and yes you can't get from here to there instantly but you need to break it down into actionable steps and hammer at each one and sometimes it's like a whackamole as you take 2 steps forward and 1 step back but that's life-- a bitch. still, i like to keep punching, because to stop hurts worse.
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:37 AM   #37510
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EVOLghost
and I didn't...thanks to my incredibly responsible friend. Feel pretty good about it too. I don't feel like dying now!

huye de la puta coca, es una droga de mierda… y los coqueros son los peores amigos.
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:41 AM   #37511
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abandoned or perhaps RUNNING THE FUCK AWAY from!

use l-tyrosine already. plus magnesium and all the vitamins.

talking about better people is like taunting me with things i cant have. all these hopes and plans are fine if you have the slightest bit of security, but i dont.

i cant stand this all being directed back at my self, it needs to be directed out at the assholes profiteering from it who eventually need to be destroyed.

a cig diary thing - maybe. i can write how i feel or whatever, but my highly inaccurate introspective ideas are generated by a brain which i dont have access to. i cant see whats going on in there. we're not post human enough yet to reflect on our input and output like a computer can.

when the cig sickness randomly strikes me, which it does at some point everytime i quit, it is HELL. absolute fucking hell. i mentioned before what its like.

all i can do is try and cut down and meet targets to reduce it. if i fail i fail. there are better things to think about than a prison diary of the ways people are profiting off my addiction/eventual or perhaps already occuring slow descent into terminal illness.

or maybe you're right. i'll think about it
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:47 AM   #37512
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<koff>

Smoked about seven cigarettes while reading through the last 180 or so posts.

 


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I'm a bad duck...
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:48 AM   #37513
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i smoked more than 7 while posting them
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:56 AM   #37514
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i think symbol man is right and i have to stop directing my anger into futile masochistic fantasies of terrorism (although that WILL eventually happen just in case GHCQ and the NSA think they should cut back on their surveillance of me) and stalk this addiction then kill it to death by murdering it until its dead.
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:57 AM   #37515
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i'm too lazy to ever have kept a diary but i keep watch of things and remember them.

even if you could bomb the headquarters of every cigarette company you wouldn't be able to cure your habit, and even if there were no cigarettes you'd go mad like you did when you quit before, so you'd still have a problem. so while cigarette companies might very well be criminal fucks, and they will probably be sued out of existence, your disease still needs a cure.

i get it that all is a part of a larger whole, i do, and i get that things need to be understood that way, but what i'm suggesting is to break it down to small elements that you can defeat easily. the only way to complete very large tasks is to chunk them into manageable parts. you can't kill a mammoth with your fists.

anyway, i will say no more lest you think i'm giving you a "pep talk," but i've told you what i know, and if you can find some use for it great, and if not i'm sorry.
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Old 04.06.2014, 12:00 PM   #37516
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yeah i edited my responses to your post like 3 times dialing down the anger each time lol.

i'm going do what you suggest. but someone has to promise that if i successfully quit THEN die of lung cancer you will mummify my corpse, implant a bomb in it with its countdown clock replacing my heartbeat, then operate it by remote control and direct it into the boardroom of one of the tobacco companies and detonate. its only fair.
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Old 04.06.2014, 12:01 PM   #37517
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i think i need to assemble a dose of various anti depressants/supplements to keep in reserve for when whatever fucked up thing thats being going on in my nervous system when i quit happens.
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Old 04.06.2014, 12:06 PM   #37518
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Old 04.06.2014, 12:11 PM   #37519
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its whats best in life
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Old 04.06.2014, 11:41 PM   #37520
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oh, i must have read a previous version. no worries.

funny enough, the day i say you need to become your own doctor i ended up watching dallas buyers club which is basically about that same principle. the story was retouched for hollywood but it's still great in spite of its falsehoods-- of course could have been better, like anything that comes out of that cultural shithole, but eh, i'd still recommend it.
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