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Old 11.06.2013, 03:12 AM   #37321
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Originally Posted by EVOLghost
It was awful and ok at the same time. I had some fun.....but my mind was still being plagued. I kind of hate to say this, but sometimes the drugs are necessary. I mean...yeah they're kind of awful and stuff....but right now I need that little kick. I really don't know how to deal with shit liek that, and I just have t0 get past it somehow. A person told my roommate, "Wow, he's really opening up and stuff". Anyways last nigth was half pretty cool...and half of it was me wanting to hide in my room or just leave.

yeah, i m sorry about that.
have you considered to cut stuff down and try and be the one who uses them and not the other way around?
i mean its hard. i reckon that for almost everything (including alcohol), the mood you are before takes the lead and defines the effect stuff will have on you. however, i thought coke is a lift up anyway.

as i have said many times, i was born for drugs, but because of how my mind works i m afraid and i am avoiding them.
i had coke offered to me for over a decade, before i started doing some.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Toilet & Bowels
Those aren't reasons not do it, just not to do it regularly.

during 2012 i did some, but i do it, in order to stop me from getting wasted with the booze. i havent really felt the wow i m god feeling it gives you, because i really have done very little everytime.
in the sense i had been using it, it can still get 'addictive.


Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%!

-For all the empty pleasure of the night before, the depression that follows is really fucking shit. I've known people who had to keep snorting just to avoid falling into a suicidal gloom. "Cacaine" indeed.


oh yeah, i call it 'white little depression' and lol hadnt realized it, because the feeling was very similar to my ache and 'weight' i feel inside anyway.

hmmm come to think, i havent felt that for some time and i m telling you, it was an almost daily feeling. i must be doing smth right, dunno what it is. it could also be the melatinine that i have started taking before sleep.
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Old 11.06.2013, 03:13 AM   #37322
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Originally Posted by Toilet & Bowels
For the record I'm not saying Bill Clinton only smoked it once, I'm saying he admitted to smoking it once.

oh and i m big yawning every time i hear a middle aged celebrity, or usually politician admitting he had smoked pot ONCE.
just dont say it dude.
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Old 11.06.2013, 03:19 AM   #37323
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how the fuck do you people even afford coke?? prices here are so ridiculous...


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Old 11.06.2013, 03:48 AM   #37324
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i didnt get into art school.
i went and saw the works of people who got in and my conclusion was that its not that hard (shame on me), but it needs a year of focused preparation on what is needed for the exams. the other 50% is a matter of pure confidence and good psychology during that week.

the good thing is that i had already rationalized it - i know i m good and i decided that i will keep painting and i will keep taking the exams as long as it interest me to do so.
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Old 11.06.2013, 04:10 AM   #37325
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That stinks Nefeli

I went to art school for 4 weeks and then decided to stop going and do oxycontin in the new free time i had instead. But that is all in the past now.

Just keep on painting no matter what. It is quite expensive though. No excuse though.
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Old 11.06.2013, 04:33 AM   #37326
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here the art school/uni is public, hence the exams.
but its expensive to get in as you have to go to preparation private 'schools' before. plus all the stuff you have to buy, tons of papers etc.
i think there are some private colleges but im not sure how focuses they are on painting or how good they are.


yeah painting is expensive as it is as well. i was like 20 mins staring at paints the other day, in order to decide which i need more -couldnt buy everything..
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Old 11.06.2013, 04:37 AM   #37327
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I am lucky I work in an art store so I get most things down to half price.

Where is "here" Nefeli?
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Old 11.06.2013, 06:55 AM   #37328
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nefeli
i didnt get into art school.
i went and saw the works of people who got in and my conclusion was that its not that hard (shame on me), but it needs a year of focused preparation on what is needed for the exams. the other 50% is a matter of pure confidence and good psychology during that week.

the good thing is that i had already rationalized it - i know i m good and i decided that i will keep painting and i will keep taking the exams as long as it interest me to do so.

i am sorry. if you were a dude i'd say "keep punching." don't know what to say but keep punching. or painting, actually. just keep at it.

so one day in grad school i am reading this book by gertrude stein. i didn't think it was up to snuff. so i tell my advisor i thought the book was a failure. why a failure he asks. because… bla bla bla, i tell him. he says, as long as you write what you want to write, do what you want to do, it's not a failure.

yeah.

so you have to work harder maybe to do what you want to do, and that seems exciting.

so i'll say congratulations, and you should celebrate.

i'm dead serious.
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Old 11.06.2013, 02:15 PM   #37329
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nefeli
yeah, i m sorry about that.
have you considered to cut stuff down and try and be the one who uses them and not the other way around?
i mean its hard. i reckon that for almost everything (including alcohol), the mood you are before takes the lead and defines the effect stuff will have on you. however, i thought coke is a lift up anyway.

as i have said many times, i was born for drugs, but because of how my mind works i m afraid and i am avoiding them.
i had coke offered to me for over a decade, before i started doing some.




during 2012 i did some, but i do it, in order to stop me from getting wasted with the booze. i havent really felt the wow i m god feeling it gives you, because i really have done very little everytime.
in the sense i had been using it, it can still get 'addictive.




oh yeah, i call it 'white little depression' and lol hadnt realized it, because the feeling was very similar to my ache and 'weight' i feel inside anyway.

hmmm come to think, i havent felt that for some time and i m telling you, it was an almost daily feeling. i must be doing smth right, dunno what it is. it could also be the melatinine that i have started taking before sleep.

I was never someone who took drugs a lot but I enjoy them sometimes and these days because getting older/changes in social groups etc I'm not around them as frequently as I used to be, and it's made me think more about the situations I would take them in, if I do do them now I prefer earlier in the evening before I get drunk at home with 2 or 3 friends. Have been thinking about checking out those websites you can order drugs from to see what happens.
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Old 11.06.2013, 02:31 PM   #37330
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Originally Posted by Nefeli
oh yeah, i call it 'white little depression' and lol hadnt realized it, because the feeling was very similar to my ache and 'weight' i feel inside anyway.

hmmm come to think, i havent felt that for some time and i m telling you, it was an almost daily feeling. i must be doing smth right, dunno what it is. it could also be the melatinine that i have started taking before sleep.

nah, it's that you're painting every day.
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Old 11.06.2013, 02:40 PM   #37331
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Originally Posted by Nefeli
i havent really felt the wow i m god feeling it gives you, because i really have done very little everytime.

It took me an all-nighter on the stuff to really make me feel quite high, and even then it barely scratched the surface of the buzz I used to get in my pure Es phase. Same with ketamine, it doesn't seem to work for me. I haven't done any drugs in a long time anyway. Sometimes I get cravings for heroin, or something super strong though. It's really just a thought and it goes away quickly.
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Old 11.06.2013, 02:48 PM   #37332
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Originally Posted by Genteel Death
It took me an all-nighter on the stuff to really make me feel quite high, and even then it barely scratched the surface of the buzz I used to get in my pure Es phase. Same with ketamine, it doesn't seem to work for me. I haven't done any drugs in a long time anyway. Sometimes I get cravings for heroin, or something super strong though. It's really just a thought and it goes away quickly.

 


Have you considered the thought that instead of an unnaturally high tolerance, you merely have a shit dealer?
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Old 11.06.2013, 02:55 PM   #37333
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Have you considered the thought that instead of an unnaturally high tolerance, you merely have a shit dealer?

he is known in the streets as "mr. royal"

 
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Old 11.06.2013, 03:05 PM   #37334
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Originally Posted by SuchFriendsAreDangerous
 


Have you considered the thought that instead of an unnaturally high tolerance, you merely have a shit dealer?

Never had any dealers. And I don't have an unnaturally high tolerance either, it's just that some drugs don't seem to do much for me.
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Old 11.06.2013, 03:08 PM   #37335
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Originally Posted by Genteel Death
Never had any dealers. And I don't have an unnaturally high tolerance either, it's just that some drugs don't seem to do much for me.
pure uncut cocaine will have your heart racing and your face twiching in no time though.

whatever you took all night must have been something else.
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Old 11.06.2013, 03:29 PM   #37336
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Originally Posted by !@#$%!
pure uncut cocaine will have your heart racing and your face twiching in no time though.

whatever you took all night must have been something else.

The wild and even dangerous fluctuation in purity is why I stopped doing hard drugs years ago, the highs are fantastic albeit utterly self-destroying, but you can't trust even good people. You truly don't know what you're getting, even when you think you know, so I finally (after enough failure) learned my lesson, grew up, and now strictly pot/beer, and even with pot I ONLY acquire from sources I trust, folks grow pot with a lot of shit now. Cannabis as a plant may be naturally benign in regards to cancer, but all the additives/chemicals/pesticides used in many grow operations are not.
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Old 11.06.2013, 03:34 PM   #37337
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Cannabis as a plant may be naturally benign in regards to cancer, but all the additives/chemicals/pesticides used in many grow operations are not.

and don't forget mold. brrrrrrrr! micotoxins are fucking nasty.

can't wait till it's legal and regulated like beer.
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Old 11.06.2013, 03:45 PM   #37338
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Originally Posted by !@#$%!
and don't forget mold. brrrrrrrr! micotoxins are fucking nasty.

Mold is more obvious to spot, the herbs smell like wet dog.

Quote:

can't wait till it's legal and regulated like beer.

Personally, I'm not even remotely interested in such prospects. Did mainstream corporatization improve the quality or safety of tobacco? No, generally speaking, its been the opposite experience. We are in the era of Monsanto and Food, Inc. and I wouldn't want to toke their herbs.

Further, even with beer, there isn't total quality assurance, yeah the brewers and bottlers put out a good product, but the actual quality at the purchasing level depends on the retailer. I have been getting SO FUCKING PISSED at the amount of expired and flat beer I've been finding at just about EVERY place you buy beer, from mom and pop corner stores to huge-chain grocery stores. And what is worse is in California its against the Health and Safety codes, its a serious fine! I suspect the enforcement side has been lax in the recent years, it didn't used to be such a problem. I used to work as a merchandiser for a big distributor, a huge part of our job was to rotate to avoid expiration, because once the product is out of code, there are significant fines involved on the distributor. Anyway, I digress, but if pot was mass-marketed like beer, it would inevitably still depend on the retail side for quality assurance, much as is the case today albeit on the underground.
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Old 11.06.2013, 04:15 PM   #37339
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pure uncut cocaine will have your heart racing and your face twiching in no time though.

whatever you took all night must have been something else.

maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. who knows?
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Old 11.06.2013, 05:24 PM   #37340
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pure uncut cocaine will have your heart racing and your face twiching in no time though.

whatever you took all night must have been something else.

Yeah but how do you get that stuff outside of South America?
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