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Old 09.18.2013, 03:23 PM   #37321
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Originally Posted by truncated
I miss Nefeli. I want to eat her up.

 


They all come crawling back.
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Old 09.18.2013, 03:34 PM   #37322
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Old 09.18.2013, 03:41 PM   #37323
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Originally Posted by h8kurdt
 


They all come crawling back.



forrrealz. When someone comes back, even for a short while, other people return too.....
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Old 09.18.2013, 04:26 PM   #37324
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Hi mum!
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Old 09.18.2013, 04:35 PM   #37325
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My baby <3
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Old 09.18.2013, 04:57 PM   #37326
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uh
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Old 09.18.2013, 05:17 PM   #37327
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I just learned a poem by heart. And no one made me do it. I am so proud now. I will recite it to one person every day to make sure it'll be in my head for a loooong time. oh, maybe I should learn more!! SO MUCH FUN
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Old 09.19.2013, 01:43 AM   #37328
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Quote:
Originally Posted by truncated
I miss Nefeli. I want to eat her up.

yo babe, i m right here.


i have to admit that another cold is lurking and this time i cant handle another one so soon. been having nervous cig(?) coughing especially when i m at drawing. and i cant enjoy smoking. fuck this shit. i 'd stuff myself with vitamin C, but i cant spend any more money on pills. fruits it will be.
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Old 09.19.2013, 01:56 AM   #37329
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuchFriendsAreDangerous
Had these a few months ago, started up again last night. They were nightmarish in the sense that it was a reliving scenarios of my worst moments in real life only revisited in a different, mundane but newly painful way. I woke up so damned pissed and depressed I didn't know what was affecting me worse, the anger or the sorrow. Its still fucking with me a paper-cut on your right hand that grazes everything you touch and stings, not bad enough to stop you, but strong enough to burn all the way to the depth and core your being. Sighs. Fuck, Shit. and my dreams are usually so pleasant and enjoyable..

im sorry. apart from the awful feeling while waking up, which we cant fight, i say try to ignore them during the rest of the day.
i really dont have anything to suggest.

i was cleansed from all bad feelings for almost 6 weeks and it has been amazing. no parameter of my life had changed, but i was feeling great. i tried to make it last more and i dont want to admit that it has ended.
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Old 09.19.2013, 02:11 AM   #37330
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sorry. i ll rant about smth else.

i made a new friend this summer.
he is very smart, young at 22 and hilarious.
he has some defect in his leg, but honestly i hadnt noticed it or paid attention to it. i mean i saw it but it was my friend who pointed it out to me and made me feel that we should ask.

yesterday we went for coffee, as he is leaving for London tomorrow.
and i asked him about his leg.
i kind of regret it now, but of course i did it out of interest.
if we are going to be friends, wouldnt it be showing indifference if i didnt ask. i dont know.
he was very ok with it and told me his story -also this makes you come closer to a person- but he said that half a year ago, he would erase anyone who asked. he had a surgery last april and somewhat improved the situation. he is now very cool about it and revealed things that made me respect him more. not that i didnt already or wouldnt without those info.
i regret asking. maybe it was too soon and i should had let him do it. and i cant do anything now.
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Old 09.19.2013, 05:17 AM   #37331
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Old 09.19.2013, 09:01 AM   #37332
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RIP Hiroshi Yamauchi(president of Nintendo before the current one).
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Old 09.19.2013, 11:45 AM   #37333
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I'm quitting smoking using
 

and it leaves an unpleasant coating on your teeth. A valid argument for the resumption of smoking.
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Old 09.19.2013, 12:01 PM   #37334
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Quote:
Originally Posted by truncated
I'm quitting smoking using

 

and it leaves an unpleasant coating on your teeth. A valid argument for the resumption of smoking.

Good, there is a 50% chance this will save your life. Sadly only a 50% chance, but quitting smoking is the single best thing I did in my life. I eat better, exercise, and am generally a healthier person since. Smoking leads to all kinds of evils. Of course, I still accept that there is a 50% chance I will still die painfully of cancer, but 50% is a lot better odds than the pretty much 100% for continuing smokers
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Old 09.19.2013, 12:22 PM   #37335
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i quit for 6 months then was paralyzed in bed with the most intense depression. it only went away when i smoked again. before i finished the first smoke i felt this wave go through my body and my entire posture and manner of walking changed. all those nicotine receptors must have roared back to life. it was insane.

i am still smoking, biggest mistake i ever made in life.
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Old 09.19.2013, 12:43 PM   #37336
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The new Arctic Monkeys album is just brilliant.
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Old 09.19.2013, 12:45 PM   #37337
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dead_battery
i quit for 6 months then was paralyzed in bed with the most intense depression. it only went away when i smoked again. before i finished the first smoke i felt this wave go through my body and my entire posture and manner of walking changed. all those nicotine receptors must have roared back to life. it was insane.

i am still smoking, biggest mistake i ever made in life.

It took me two times to quit. The first time I quit for 14 months, cold turkey, and it was horrible. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY I was angry, irritable, and generally pissed off at any and everything. I finally broke down and started smoking again at it was paradise like Ed Reed at the Superbowl in New Orleans last February. However, when I finally settled down to quit again, I acclimatized myself to a life without smoking. I didn't quit cold turkey, I systematically cut back until after about 6 or 8 months I was finally ready to quit more comfortably. Then I just did, and never looked back, haven't touched a cigarette in five solid years, its my most proud accomplishment.
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Old 09.19.2013, 12:49 PM   #37338
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dead_battery
i quit for 6 months then was paralyzed in bed with the most intense depression. it only went away when i smoked again. before i finished the first smoke i felt this wave go through my body and my entire posture and manner of walking changed. all those nicotine receptors must have roared back to life. it was insane.

i am still smoking, biggest mistake i ever made in life.

you need something to keep the dopamine cranking, to ward off depression and anxiety. smoking is a natural self-medicating response to that-- which is why they give you meds like wellbutrin (dopamine reuptake inhibitor) to help quitting.

the pill still doesn't resolve the low internal dopamine production though.

how to make dopamine "naturally" is the big question. we usually just replace one addiction with another.

i'm currently considering degenerate gambling as a viable option.

--

ps here's an idea for your soylent-- increase your tirosine (which is a dopamine precursor) and see what happens.
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Old 09.19.2013, 01:05 PM   #37339
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Quote:
Originally Posted by !@#$%!
you need something to keep the dopamine cranking, to ward off depression and anxiety. smoking is a natural self-medicating response to that-- which is why they give you meds like wellbutrin (dopamine reuptake inhibitor) to help quitting.

 



Exercise, exercise, and exercise. I know its cliched, but the "runner's high" is honestly what helped me quit. I started running daily like Forest Gump (mainly because with my new found stamina I could actually do it) and it really helped me keep it up and quit. Of course, certain other plants also helped significantly, even if they have little impact on dopamine receptors.

With nicotine addiction, you just need to let time work its magic. Nicotine destroys the bodies normal dopamine processes, you need to let the body readjust and begin to develop normal levels, and further get used to them. On cigarette floods the dopamine receptors with upwards of 10 times the natural levels, the body simply can never produce that much, so let the brain detox gradually. It does get better. The cravings never really go away by the way, they just subside. You will ALWAYS remember them, it NEVER fully goes away, just gets totally manageable. I haven't had a soda pop in so many years I can't even remember what it tastes like, but I can deeply recall every detail of smoking a cigarette
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Old 09.19.2013, 01:07 PM   #37340
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i've already stabbed 20 prostitutes and burned down an orphanage, but nothing quite gets that dopamine rush quite like the cool refreshing cancer taste of satans own rolled up pubic hair.

the permanent throat pain and black charcoal lung freshness gives my lumpy mucus that sour chemically tinge that keeps my breath smelling noxious.
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