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Old 05.01.2011, 11:15 AM   #26761
Derek
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Cigarettes are awful.
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Old 05.01.2011, 01:19 PM   #26762
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Uncle Cronos
There is one Brit who is still waiting for his invitation to tomorrows wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton.* Cronos (Conrad Lant), the bass player and singer from the band Venom, has checked his mailbox everyday patiently waiting for a message that may never come.* Why would the lead singer of a band that recorded songs like Sons of Satan expect an invite to one of the most sacred and important events in Britain this century?* Cronos is, in fact, Kate Middletons uncle.
As hard as this may be to believe for many metalheads, Cronos is the brother of Kates mom Mary Lant.* In an exclusive interview with The Tyranny of Tradition, Cronos revealed that he had a close relationship with Kate from the time she was a baby.* We were on tour supporting the Welcome to Hell album when I got the call.** Little Katy was about to be born.* The band and I cancelled the show and rushed to the hospital.* Ill never forget when I held her for the first time.* Abaddon and I broke down in tears.* It was beautiful, recalled Cronos.
Cronos was always a big part of the future princesses life.* She grew up going to Venom concerts and was even in the studio when the band recorded their third album At War With Satan.* Mantas had this great idea to have her voice mixed into the background of the song Aaaaaarrghh but it we were never able to get it to sound right.
As Kate got older she got more involved with the band.* She started playing drums at age 7 and even sat in with us a few times during concerts.* She played Buried Alive with us at a show in Coventry back during the reunion in 1995 and was amazing.* She reminded me a lot of Dave Lombardo.
When the royal couple first started dating Kate promised Cronos that they might play at the wedding if the two ever decided to tie the knot.* She had this whole idea about us playing Countess Bathory during the part of the service where she walked up to the altar.* I thought it was crazy, but she kept bringing the idea up. Id have been honored to play her wedding.
Cronos was in touch with Kate as recently as seven months ago, but since the wedding announcement she has not returned any of his phone calls.* She used to call me her favorite uncle.* She loved singing songs with me when she was a little girl.* We used to sing the song Black Metal together.* She loved doing the growling part at the end.* Now she wont even talk to me.
There have been few mentions of Cronos relationship with Kate in the British press.* He believes the royal family has conspired to keep the Kate Middleton/Venom connection out of the media.* There used to be video of her playing with us up on YouTube, but that was mysteriously taken down months ago.* I feel like they are embarrassed by my career as one of the founding fathers of Satan influenced thrash metal.* Im not trying to get famous out of this or make money.* I just want my Little Katy back.
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Old 05.01.2011, 02:16 PM   #26763
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Yeah....I'm currently trying to quit. I've wanted to but damn. Turkish Royals are soo good. plus they feel great after a bowl or joint.
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Old 05.01.2011, 02:16 PM   #26764
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lPlus cigarrettes are crazy expensive here
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Old 05.01.2011, 02:22 PM   #26765
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Derek
Cigarettes are awful.

yes but... lots of things are awful.
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Old 05.01.2011, 03:59 PM   #26766
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Holy fuck I have a headache.

The only cure is more music.
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Old 05.01.2011, 04:12 PM   #26767
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Holy shit..that one scared me. First thought I was hallucinating when he blinked
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Old 05.01.2011, 04:14 PM   #26768
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pelle
Holy shit..that one scared me. First thought I was hallucinating when he blinked


ha ha ha-- i saw the picture and didn't notice the first time (i looked for maybe .2 seconds)
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Old 05.01.2011, 04:28 PM   #26769
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Quote:
Originally Posted by knox
yes but... lots of things are awful.
A lot more awful than most things I suppose.
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Old 05.01.2011, 04:51 PM   #26770
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Derek
A lot more awful than most things I suppose.

Really?
They're not THAT awful.
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Old 05.01.2011, 04:55 PM   #26771
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Old 05.01.2011, 05:04 PM   #26772
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Quote:
Originally Posted by knox
Really?
They're not THAT awful.
Don't worry. He's just a big pussy. Can't even take a bit of mouth cancer.


 

Giant gaystack they call.
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Old 05.01.2011, 05:08 PM   #26773
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I mean the greatest thing about smokes is that you can choose not to smoke them. The same principle doesn't apply to air, food or water tho.
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Old 05.01.2011, 05:11 PM   #26774
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Quote:
Originally Posted by knox
I mean the greatest thing about smokes is that you can choose not to smoke them.
1) Doesn't make them any less awful.

2) Not necessarily. Tried walking into a shopping centre lately? Not easy to do without inhaling the smoke of the stupid people.
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Old 05.01.2011, 05:29 PM   #26775
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Quote:
Originally Posted by knox
Really?
They're not THAT awful.

hang out in an ICU for a month watching people suffer and inevitably get wheeled out in a body bag for smoking related diseases and you just might feel a bit different (this is my experience at least). Listen, I know it is ridiculously cliched, but in this instance it happens to be quite true. In reality, dying of smoking related cancers is a privilege, its far worse too live for weeks, months, even years with the debilitating, horrifying even, effects

Quote:
Originally Posted by knox
I mean the greatest thing about smokes is that you can choose not to smoke them. The same principle doesn't apply to air, food or water tho.
Girl how old are you, 14 and a half? Have you seriously even tried to quit yet? After enough time there is really very little choice involved in the matter. Go to an AA meeting or a rehab, people can quit every addictive substance on the planet, and yet remain chain smokers. It literally easier to quite smoking CRACK than frajos, and they are one of the only substances that human beings consume until their very last breath, even as they are the continuing cause of that death. Does that really sound all that voluntary to you?

(Sorry for the tirade, I've grown a bit more sensitive to smoking issues lately)
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Old 05.01.2011, 05:29 PM   #26776
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You can smoke in shopping centres? Since when? Yay!
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Old 05.01.2011, 05:31 PM   #26777
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Quote:
Originally Posted by knox
You can smoke in shopping centres? Since when? Yay!
I said walking into a shopping centre. Ever noticed all the ill looking people huddled outside coughing and wheezing?
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Old 05.01.2011, 05:34 PM   #26778
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I know how bad smokes are suchfriends and I have tried to quit many times and failed. However, you smoke weed so I don't think you should be talking much. Despite the benefits that tobacco certainly doesn't have, and perhaps certain chemicals that aren't added (which you can't be sure of in most parts of the world, as samples of illegal weed have shown the craziest of things) smoking weed is also inhaling carbon monoxide. Of course most people don't do that 20 times a day, I don't smoke that much either.

And btw, I was talking about non-smokers. They can choose not to start.

As a smoker, I pay a lot of money for my addiction, 75% of which is tax. I am informed and aware of the dangers. Now, people have no choice about the carbon monoxide they breathe and are not as clearly informed about the chemicals and harmful substances added in their food.

I understand everyone is eager to jump into it and start accusing smokers of being the most horrible monsters on earth but seriously.
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Old 05.01.2011, 05:35 PM   #26779
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookie
I said walking into a shopping centre. Ever noticed all the ill looking people huddled outside coughing and wheezing?

No, I haven't. Better give us a nice private garden then.
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Old 05.01.2011, 05:40 PM   #26780
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Quote:
Originally Posted by knox
No, I haven't. Better give us a nice private garden then.
Don't they already have them?


 
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