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Old 08.05.2009, 04:01 AM   #20021
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atsonicpark kicks all y'all's assesatsonicpark kicks all y'all's assesatsonicpark kicks all y'all's assesatsonicpark kicks all y'all's assesatsonicpark kicks all y'all's assesatsonicpark kicks all y'all's assesatsonicpark kicks all y'all's assesatsonicpark kicks all y'all's assesatsonicpark kicks all y'all's assesatsonicpark kicks all y'all's assesatsonicpark kicks all y'all's asses
Stop crying.

Listen to some R. Kelly..


"Run your hands through my 'fro!"

"Sippin on coke and rum, I'm like 'So what I'm drunk'?"

"It's the freakin' weekend, I'm gonna piss on an underaged minor after I fuck her brains out and film it because I'm a cornroled stupid faggot who likes to molest little girls and get away with it because I have OJ Simpson's lawyers because I contributed a song to a Michael Jordan and Bugs Bunny movie, so come fuck me."
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:02 AM   #20022
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i'm not crying just teary

i'm listening to the game



that piss was digital
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:06 AM   #20023
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There’s this guy I know whose wife is about to give birth to a little baby, awww.... Don’t you think it would be REALLY funny if she gave birth and it was just a big pile of shit that LOOKED like a baby? I just love the idea of the doctor having to explain, “Hmm... I guess waste was slowly leaking from your bowels into your womb all this time. But you gotta admit –- it sure LOOKS like a baby!” A little shit baby!
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:06 AM   #20024
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Wow, that fake bill story is weird... You're a fucking gangster, aren't you ?

 
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:07 AM   #20025
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Is it depression or disease? Tell it to the millipedes... The casserole was good and the drives were so nice, welcome to the worst part of your life. I'm hard to fix because it took me so goddamn long to figure out that I broke down. Mold spores fill my lungs and silverfish hide in the Venetian blinds in the wintertime. In the bathroom, with the shower running and my clothes on, I figured out that I hate you all. I'm hard to fix because it took me so goddamn long to figure out that I broke down.
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:08 AM   #20026
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March 18, 2003

Had sex with Tyler today. God it hurt sooo bad! He's no high school boy that's for sure. You're probably wondering how this all happened. O.K. here it is in a nutshell. He picked me up at our usual meeting spot around the block from school at the Asian deli. We drove around for a bit just talking about stuff. He was still in his Taco Bell uniform and his Mustang smelled like burritos. He seemed kind of nervous-like but I didn't think anything of it at the time. I figured he might have just gotten high. So we got to his house and he went into this ill-prepared speech about our relationship, which by the way is three weeks strong and counting, and how much he loves me and how he wants to strengthen our relationship by taking things to the next level. It was kind of cheesy but sweet too. Nevermind the fact that I'd have fucked him the first day we met in Lindsey's driveway. Nevertheless, I agreed. Not sounding to eager of course. I even made sure to hesitate a little to add a touch of suspense. Besides, I'm not easy. I can be such a bitch sometimes. So we went into his bedroom and fortunately his roommate Jerry was still at work. The whole thing happened so fast. Next thing I know he was cumming on my stomach. He made this funny face like those bitter beer face commercials on t.v. It was warm. He cleaned it off with a sock that was on the floor and apologized. I told him it was cool, and it was. After we got dressed Jerry came home so we left. Ty dropped me off at home, well around the corner of course. My mom said she'd call the cops if he kept seeing me and Donny said he'd kick his ass if he ever sees him around. I told him to mind his own business cause he's not my real dad anyways. He only sticks around so he can fuck my mom. It does kind of make things exciting, sneaking around and all. WHY ARE THERE LAWS PLACED ON LOVE?


Ahhh... the words of true love. The white trash/trailerpark community attemps to procreate, and it's fucking scandalous!
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:09 AM   #20027
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Allow me to tell you about a little movie. Nay, to call it a "little movie" is to insult this masterful piece of film. When I returned to my domicile on September 14, 2002 following two weeks of class, I found my brother on the couch in our living room watching, on a cable channel, a movie known, in title, as Home Alone 2: Lost In New York.

The irony of the title is confusing at first. "If he's lost in New York, then how can he be home alone?" Ah, but that is viewing the film on a purely superficial level. Yes indeed, our protagonist and hero Kevin McAllister is indeed roaming the streets of New York City in a manner which does not come close to resembling being home alone, but that's not the point. His soul is what is alone at home, in the kingdom of his body, completely lacking any mode of support similar to that which he receives when he is with his family in Chicago. This allegory holds true to the first, weaker film in the series as well, but only has a chance to come to its full fruition when the title transcends Kevin's physical situation and embodies conditions deeper than those that are obvious.

Another brilliant facet of the film is that it moves beyond the domestic issues explored in the original film and hits upon several much deeper and more important social issues that show maturation on the part of both the director and the screenwriter. The "pigeon lady" played by Brenda Fricker, in what indeed has to be the performance of her career, rivaled only by her role as the school headmistress in the equally brilliant Masterminds, displays the heart and soul of the plight of the urban poor while making it totally clear to the audience that this is a significant social issue that needs to be dealt with as soon as possible. She takes refuge at night in the loft of a concert hall populated by a symphony orchestra, and it is from this, not frivolous personal niceties like expensive clothing and exquisite food, from which she derives the largest amount of pleasure in life.

However, even more important are the antagonists Harry and Marv, portrayed with gusto by Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern, each respectively turning in the most multi-layered, complex turns of their career, even surpassing those given in such cinematic masterpieces as 8 Heads In A Duffel Bag and Rookie Of The Year. Chris Columbus portrays their characters as evil, but evil in a fashion which completely and thoroughly gets across the world-weary, bitter outlook that each of them has towards this farce which we call life after spending eight months in prison for the mere crime of breaking and entering. Marv claims that he wants to reform the criminals' act from being the water-obsessive "Wet Bandits" to the adhesive "Sticky Bandits," but the shift, despite being frowned upon by Harry, is much more than meets the eye. The "Wet," clearly a reference to the prohibition movement of the 1920's, was symbolic of the recklessness which once defined the lives of the two bandits. The "Sticky," on the other hand, is symbolic of the bandits' newfound determination to "stick with it" and fulfill their ambitions and dreams regardless of any roadblocks that might inadvertendly cross their paths. This ambition: to rob the largest toy store in New York and walk off with the cash contained within. This is not merely an eloquent social commentary on the frailty of the capitalist system, but also, through the choice of a toy store as the base of the planned robbery, stands as Harry and Marv's grand attempt to regain the youth that they lost in being forced by cruel nature to resort to a life of crime.

The film's bravura ending, in which Kevin lures the two burglars through a maze of traps and tricks in a startlilngly similar fashion to that of the first film, is a notable improvement over the themes explored in the original movie as well. While in Home Alone, Kevin foiled the burglars' plans through child-like objects such as Christmas ornaments and Micro Machines, in this film he subjects them to 10,000 volt electric charges and continuous fifty-foot drops onto the concrete floor of the brownstone's basement. Not only have Kevin's methods grown increasingly ingenious and complex compared to the simplicity of his plans in the first film, the stakes are higher as well - when encountered by a normal human being, sticking one's head, engulfed in flames, into a toilet filled with flammable liquid would almost certainly result in death. It is only through the sheer determination of the two burglars, somehow translated into a sense of increased physical endurance, that they are able to survive Kevin's master plan and traverse through the complete literary cycle of poetic justice. In the end, Kevin wins, but Harold and Marvin are, in some ways, the true heroes.

All in all, this is an absolutely brilliant movie, and watching it during my second year at the University of California, Berkeley has only made it all the more clear that when I regarded the movie as a piece of hilariously light entertainment when I was in fourth grade, I was merely scratching the surface of a great work which will outlast the ages and rightfully stand as a defining artifact of late 20th-century American culture for centuries, nay, millennia to come.

Amen.
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:11 AM   #20028
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LOL REBELS

(Home Alone 2 is a good movie btw, the first one is better.)

Oh, and your post is FUCKING TOO LONG !
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:14 AM   #20029
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See, that's the thing, people see I have 19000+ posts and they automatically assume I've just posted thousands of posts with stuff like "this sucks" or "fuck."

But really, my posts take a lot of thought!
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:14 AM   #20030
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dildo
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:16 AM   #20031
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You can't deny this one.
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:16 AM   #20032
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i just threw up the only food i've eaten in 2-3 days
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:18 AM   #20033
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I hate vomitting.

I throw up 60-80 times a day... it's not projectile vomit, but my "food" (and acid) comes back up. It's like acid refluxx mixed with.. something else. It's awful. I don't eat much because of it.
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:18 AM   #20034
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goddamn are you serious?

edit
shit dude that sucks
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:19 AM   #20035
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I haven't threw up for months !
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:20 AM   #20036
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Yeah.

I was in and out of the hospital every few days for a year and was on home schooling for 2 years of my life. I've been on tons of medications. Nothing has ever helped. Acid is constantly burning a hole in my throat. I had an endoscopy when I was 12 and then I had one when I was 14 and, in 2 years, my throat had just become completely DESTROYED. So, 9 years later, I'm sure it looks fucking ... who knows. I have all kinds of weird, unexplainable (as in, it doesn't burn, it doesn't ache, it just feels.. WEIRD) pains in my throat all the time. I'm pretty sure I have throat cancer. Ah well.
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:22 AM   #20037
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why yall cryin? I just saw dan deacon no age and deerhunter, and partied with dan deacon, I stole his tusken chips or whatever they're called cuz me and my friend were stoned while he was playing mario on this super big projector. Btw, Dan Deacon is fucking amazing at mario.

deerhunter went back to a hotel, bwhahaha lame.
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:23 AM   #20038
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Oh, but how I got that "60-80 times" figure was, they put this long chord down my throat with a machine hooked to it, when I was 13. And every time I "vomitted" (I don't really like to call it VOMITTING.. my food came up), I had to press a button on this machine. Over the course of 3 days.

This was cool, though, because the doctor who was doing this was a hot Asian lady. She had to check my stools for blood or whatever, so she stuck a gloved finger in my ass. I was ass-raped by a hot Asian lady's finger!!
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:23 AM   #20039
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Bradford Cox is sexy.
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Old 08.05.2009, 04:23 AM   #20040
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeadDiscoDildo
why yall cryin? I just saw dan deacon no age and deerhunter, and partied with dan deacon, I stole his tusken chips or whatever they're called cuz me and my friend were stoned while he was playing mario on this super big projector. Btw, Dan Deacon is fucking amazing at mario.

deerhunter went back to a hotel, bwhahaha lame.
i'm kind of jealous
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