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Old 09.11.2006, 04:25 AM   #61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Monnie Blast
Dear Pookie,
I have an attitude problem and i feel like slapping random people on the face outside shapping centres on a saturday afternoon.Is there anything that i can do to control myself?

Monnie Blast

Croydon

Sorry to be pedantic and correct your spelling Monnie, but I think that should be slapping centre, in which case, just move inside the slapping centres.
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Old 09.11.2006, 04:32 AM   #62
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Pookie,

I asked Porkmarras a question and he hasn't answered it. What should I do?

Busted fan,
Lower Buttfuck
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Old 09.11.2006, 04:35 AM   #63
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dear pookie,

i am really sorry for what i done in the past but they just wont believe me. what advice can you give?

peter sutcliffe, broadmoor.
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Old 09.11.2006, 04:37 AM   #64
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sonicl
Pookie,

I asked Porkmarras a question and he hasn't answered it. What should I do?

Busted fan,
Lower Buttfuck
porkmarras says:
I have now.Can we be a little patient?EH?
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Old 09.11.2006, 04:41 AM   #65
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Busted fan
Pookie,

I asked Porkmarras a question and he hasn't answered it. What should I do?

Busted fan,
Lower Buttfuck

I think he's got you on ignore.

Unfortunately, I've started charging and need payment in advance if you want me to answer your query.
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Old 09.11.2006, 04:44 AM   #66
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Do you accept unfranked used postage stamps as payment?
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Old 09.11.2006, 04:46 AM   #67
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Quote:
Originally Posted by peter sutcliffe
dear pookie,

i am really sorry for what i done in the past but they just wont believe me. what advice can you give?

peter sutcliffe, broadmoor.

Just tell them that the problem is that we are commanded to forgive and failure to forgive is a sin. We may treat failure to forgive lightly, but God warns us that it hinders our prayers.

If forgiveness is dependent on feelings, isn’t that unjust, because God cannot condemn us for our feelings. Our feelings flow from our thoughts and actions.

So many people say that they cannot do things because it doesn’t feel right. I don’t feel love for my wife and therefore I will leave her. The Bible says: Think what’s right and do what’s right and the right feelings may follow. Never use feelings as the sole basis for moral decision.
Let me know how you get on.
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Old 09.11.2006, 04:47 AM   #68
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sonicl
Do you accept unfranked used postage stamps as payment?

No, chocolate coins only please.
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Old 10.09.2006, 11:18 AM   #69
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Dear Pookie,
I work in a call centre and occasionally i feel i like barking into the phone at random people.Do you think this the right career for me?

Regards
Rotonda Johnson
Crowborough
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Old 10.09.2006, 11:20 AM   #70
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You must spread some compliments for BEST BUMPING POST EVER around before giving it to porkmarras again.
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Old 10.09.2006, 11:21 AM   #71
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rotonda Johnson
Dear Pookie,
I work in a call centre and occasionally i feel i like barking into the phone at random people.Do you think this the right career for me?

Regards
Rotonda Johnson
Crowborough

Try the animal sex line. They're desperate for people like you.
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Old 10.09.2006, 11:22 AM   #72
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Pookie is an oracle of the highest order.
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Old 10.09.2006, 11:23 AM   #73
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dear spookie:

people in my school tell me i smell of cheese, and whenever i wonder into a mcdonald's they think i'm stealing quarter pounders; can you recommend an effective and merciless preferrably medieval weapon with which i can vanquish my enemies?

rod littlejohn-whitman
bath
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Old 10.09.2006, 11:29 AM   #74
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rod
dear spookie:

people in my school tell me i smell of cheese, and whenever i wonder into a mcdonald's they think i'm stealing quarter pounders; can you recommend an effective and merciless preferrably medieval weapon with which i can vanquish my enemies?

rod littlejohn-whitman
bath

Rod,

I think for close-quarter combat, you could do a lot worse than the mace. A mace is a club-like weapon made of wood or steel. Blows from a mace can kill or break the bones of a knight (or school chum) wearing mail armour (or carrying a satchel). The mace was favoured by clerics (and school children)who were not allowed to carry weapons with blades (or sharpened pencils). Odo of Bayeux apparently used a mace during the Battle of Hastings.
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Old 10.09.2006, 11:39 AM   #75
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dear spookie:

whenever i leave home, i begin to feel the earth sucking me to it's center and burning with the fires of hell with the darkness of a thousand nights. so, should i use red or pink bows around my hair while strolling around the park? you need to look lovely for when you are screaming bloody hell at the top of your lungs.

gwendoline wakeford
hull
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Old 10.09.2006, 01:14 PM   #76
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Dear Pookie,
I've been trapped in a bus full of twats on my way home.I swear,everyone was so packed like sardines we could only stare at each other like twats.Is this normal?

Yours
Jim 'Jim' John

Whitechapel
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Old 10.09.2006, 02:57 PM   #77
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Pookie, long time fan, first time asker!!!
What should I do with myself?
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Old 10.09.2006, 03:45 PM   #78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gwendoline
dear spookie:

whenever i leave home, i begin to feel the earth sucking me to it's center and burning with the fires of hell with the darkness of a thousand nights. so, should i use red or pink bows around my hair while strolling around the park? you need to look lovely for when you are screaming bloody hell at the top of your lungs.

gwendoline wakeford
hull

This is a mistake that tormented souls often make. Hair bows are sooo last season, it's the Victoria Beckham bob for those about to enter the fiery pits of hell.
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Old 10.09.2006, 03:47 PM   #79
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jim
Dear Pookie,
I've been trapped in a bus full of twats on my way home.I swear,everyone was so packed like sardines we could only stare at each other like twats.Is this normal?

Yours
Jim 'Jim' John

Whitechapel

It's perfectly normal for twats to stare like twats.
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Old 10.09.2006, 03:47 PM   #80
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Dear Pookie, I loved you, but now I am not so sure!!!
Why haven't you answered my question yet!!?? (crying)
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