[floatingslowly]

if I drink too much, I vomit. it doesn't matter where.

friend's parent's fancy bathroom? you betcha.

all down some guy's back at universal studios? been there.

I don't drink too much too often.

that said, I don't really do dumb things. gross, sure, but not dumb.***




*** this statement discludes nasty habits.

[jerf]

I jumped on a wrought-iron fence and cut myself up. Still have the scars from that bright idea. You win, tequilla...

[alteredcourse]

I have this really nice perfect vertical slice from my thigh to my asscheek thats raised up so it looks like a snakes eye. A couple years ago, the friend I'd made through the desires of whatever drug I was into at the time, and I, snuck into an outdoor pool over layers of barbed wire. Going in was fine, and doing deep sea dives into bowls of pure blue chlorine-laced serotonin was awesome and all, but the jump back through the fence wasnt so easy. I spent the next couple hours having laughs over the occasion while stitching black thread through the blood stained tears in my shorts.

The dumbest thing, from an emotional point of view, though, includes making merciless fun at a guy that I enjoyed and wanted to be friends with, to that intolerable, belligerent point that the object in question couldnt quite get over.

Ah, wait. There was this time that I threw up all over a Denny's table, forcing a tired old lady that hosted the place for a boastful 30+ years to clean it up. That was pretty stupid.

[davenotdead]

once in australia, at the trashiest/backpacker bar in town, i got this rly hot girl to dance with me and then for some reason i started humping her ass. with subtlety for the first few seconds, then not too subtle. she didn't like that. whatever, bitch. call me

[Satan]

jumped out of a second story window into a pool
jumped off a roof into a pool
almost threw up on four cops before i threw up on the sidewalk a few feet away from them
threw up on the subway
passed out in my friend's front yard
crashed my car

the list goes on and on

[automatic bzooty]

i say more dumb things than i do.

to the only sober person in the room: "on a scale of one to suck, how much does this suck for you?"

[davenotdead]

i don't do too many dumb things when sauced.

just usually stuff like not recognizing opportunities with chicks.

then i wake up and think... oh no, she was totally into me and i was drunken idiot. i am disappoint in self.

had a friend who did the same.

i once witnessed this rly hot older chick walk up to him and say in his ear "yr the hottest guy here" and he said "alright, yeah" and nodded, or something similar. then turned to me and said 'lets get out of here' [and he was only going out that night to get a good root]

the next morning he said he couldn't even see faces, and asked me if he had missed any chances. he was so sad

[alteredcourse]

Wow, dave, thats totally crazy. Normally its the other way around, eh? the next day is filled with the fog of unknowing dread.

Other things, dancing naked in parks to banghra blasted from cars (never regrettable however), meeting convicts in parks and screaming gg allin songs (from which I received their pants), waking up on lawns (im surprised I was never taken as rape victims), stabbing people with knives(regrettable and why I dont drink hards in my old age), general adultery.

Actually, there was this guy a decade elder that had this tear-duct problem where he never stopped crying. Well, I cant say that, but he, uh, leaked all the time. And had this dope-faced long centre-parted Neil-like hair. Well, I accidently met him on the bus after getting ploughed by an ex in an abandoned car lot. He had this two six of whiskey and before I knew it, I was being dragged home under the arms of my then-boyfriend's brothers from a field they found me in. That field is now home to dirt ploughers and general skyrise developers.

[Anngella]

Licked a shoe (that I spilled a drink on) for a dollar.

[sonicpixie]

Originally Posted by davenotdead

once in australia, at the trashiest/backpacker bar in town, i got this rly hot girl to dance with me and then for some reason i started humping her ass. with subtlety for the first few seconds, then not too subtle. she didn't like that. whatever, bitch. call me

heehee silly bitch whats not to like?

[Satan]

stealing peoples lawn furniture/ornaments
slept with three people the same night
stealing little kids bikes and riding them around
this bitch pissed me off so i let the air out of all four of her tires and spraypainted all the windows on her car black
threw a brick through someones window
took all my clothes off and ran the streets

[terriblecanyons]

Originally Posted by Satan

stealing peoples lawn furniture/ornaments

I've stolen:
5 traffic cones
one stop sign
one christmas tree
three "for rent" signs
two pink flamingos (dunno where they are)


Might I just add that I got pulled over because my friend was chasing a deer with a stolen traffic cone. she got charged $230 for wildlife endangerment

[terriblecanyons]

Also, I have ...reportedly... taken entire vodka/gin/rum/whatever bottles and called them my children and refused to let anyone drink out of them but me. One day I woke up with a half a gallon of vodka next to my face.

I am also incredibly apathetic about being hit on whilst drunk. I let this guy slap my ass for like half an hour before I told him to quit.

[Sonic Youth Gossip]

drink more

[floatingslowly]

Originally Posted by alteredcourse

stabbing people with knives(regrettable and why I dont drink hards in my old age)

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to alteredcourse again and again and again and again.

[phoenix]

Originally Posted by sonicpixie

....have you ever decided to ring/txt everyone in yr fonebook and tell them what u really think of them //// decided now would be a really good time to go and visit your parents for a chat //// thought this is the perfect opportunity to learn to drive //// and worse i hope...............

I'm sure there is already a thread like this?

but anyway..


falling backwards almost on to train lines.
deciding "Im not done yet". ( I was soooo done. ALL of the times)
feeling the need to piss off the cunt at the bar by pressing the delivery elevator button over and over. Though looking back I'm kind of glad we got told to leave, because there were WEIRD foreign guys trying to make it with me and one of the other girls.
not moving fast enough when things are thrown at me.
deciding "after all I've had to drink tonight, I think I need to smoke now"



probably more things I can't quite remember. I'm a lightweight and know my limits(better than I used to when I was 16). So I try to not get into a state where I make an ass of myself.

[barry swedgin]

took more 'stuff'.

[notyourfiend]

Originally Posted by terriblecanyons

one christmas tree
two pink flamingos (dunno where they are)

you must be a character out of a john water's movie

[jerf]

Originally Posted by terriblecanyons

I've stolen:
5 traffic cones
one stop sign
one christmas tree
three "for rent" signs
two pink flamingos (dunno where they are)

I've stolen all this stuff before too. For some reason, it's still really funny when you sober up too. I've swiped lawn gnomes and various lawn ornaments, road cones, road barrels, election and "for rent" signs.

The best part of stealing "for rent" signs is putting them in other peoples lawns. Same with election signs.

[Zombie Robot]

Originally Posted by phoenix

I'm sure there is already a thread like this?

http://www.sonicyouth.com/gossip/sho...t=stupid+drunk

yep. some great stuff in it too.