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Old 04.22.2009, 03:07 AM   #21
vulva
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We went to her place during lunch in grade 9. When she got back, apparently she ended up being so aroused that she came in class. Her chair/ass were soaked. I was getting high fives from my buddies while she was being horribly embarassed.
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Old 04.22.2009, 05:58 AM   #22
Toilet & Bowels
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the first post is a pretty good story. speaking of crying and sex, when i broke up with my last girlfriend we had break-up sex where we were both in floods of tears for the whole thing, it was really weird, but also pretty amazing to experience grief and arousal at the same time.

the time i lost my virginity was very unremarkable although the girl i did it with was considerably more experienced and i didn't want her to know it was my first time so when i came after a few minutes i was a bit embarrased acted as if normally i last much longer than that. the times after that i lasted much longer and after a little while i told her the truth about being a virgin and she didn't believe me, so i was kind of chuffed about that.
the cool thing about the whole event was that it took place in paris, which is a good place to lose your virginity.
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Old 04.22.2009, 07:25 AM   #23
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I started to have sex with a girl but she was so tight and I'd never done it before that I couldn't get it in. She also started crying. She screamed at me, "THE ONLY BOY I EVER LOVED CAN'T EVEN FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!" I was like, "Huh?!" and she cheated on me 2 weeks later.

...But when me and my actual girlfriend had actual sex the first time, it was beautiful. I've been with her for 6 years tomorrow.
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Old 04.22.2009, 09:38 AM   #24
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When the eggs in the egg tube are ready, the worm slips backwards out of the saddle. As the saddle passes the egg tube, six eggs are dropped in.

As the saddle passes over the worm's head, the ends close up and make a tiny lemon-shaped cocoon with the eggs inside.

This cocoon protects them until they hatch out as very small but fully developed worms.

Two months later, she left me for a church-camp guy who had (somewhat rightfully) convinced her that I was the Anti-Christ.
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Old 04.22.2009, 10:47 AM   #25
SpectralJulianIsNotDead
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I was killed to feed and eaten after my first time.
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Old 04.22.2009, 11:02 AM   #26
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I put my penis in a vagina
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Old 04.22.2009, 11:23 AM   #27
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God damnit rob you fucking bastard, you win again.
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Old 04.22.2009, 11:49 AM   #28
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I'm not much of a one for virginity stories, so I shan't. I also shan't tell you the story of getting my brown wings, but if any of you meet me for a pint, remind me to tell you that story.
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Old 04.22.2009, 11:54 AM   #29
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i will
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Old 04.22.2009, 06:49 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by Kloriel
I was arrested for shooting a mother fucker in the eye with a wrist rocket. I was still a virgin when it happened. So over the next several months I lost my virginity by drilling a whole through cement blocks with my friend Last Anasazi.


I don't know why but this is hilarious.
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Old 04.22.2009, 07:55 PM   #31
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I'll let ya'll know when it happens
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Old 08.05.2009, 01:28 AM   #32
terriblecanyons
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Okay, okay. Alright, fine. But only because I'm bored.

I was 15 and it lasted for like 30 seconds. It hurt a bunch and it sucked. The end.
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Old 08.05.2009, 01:47 AM   #33
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I was more a bystander to my own second christening. Borderline rape, really.
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Old 08.05.2009, 01:49 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by amerikangod
Was his collar popped when it happened? We need juicy details like that to properly savor the shame.

No popped collar, but I wish he would've finished with something like "THUNDERCATS ARE GO"
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Old 08.05.2009, 01:56 AM   #35
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Or the end of the Wicker Man.

"OH GOD NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! OH GOD THEY'RE IN MY EYES. KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN HONEY."

I would seriously marry anyone who said that at climax.
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Old 08.05.2009, 03:25 AM   #36
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ok so i was like 14 at this party and i got shitfaced drunk and started making out with this dude and i told him bluntly "i want to fuck you" so we went in some other room and i don't remember it hurting and i didn't bleed but it wasn't much of anything.

nothing special there. the end.
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Old 08.05.2009, 03:33 AM   #37
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I loved having sex the first time. I felt so full of life. I'd came before, of course, but intercourse was surprisingly magical and amazing. I dunno what it was.

The feeling eventually went away and never came back.
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Old 08.05.2009, 03:39 AM   #38
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TheFoxBen kicks all y'all's assesTheFoxBen kicks all y'all's assesTheFoxBen kicks all y'all's assesTheFoxBen kicks all y'all's assesTheFoxBen kicks all y'all's assesTheFoxBen kicks all y'all's assesTheFoxBen kicks all y'all's assesTheFoxBen kicks all y'all's assesTheFoxBen kicks all y'all's assesTheFoxBen kicks all y'all's assesTheFoxBen kicks all y'all's asses
This is the worst thread ever.
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Old 08.05.2009, 03:41 AM   #39
atsonicpark
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I'm a humble guy with healthy desire.
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Old 08.06.2009, 01:10 AM   #40
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Wow love the Wickerman reference.
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