Post your best insults.

Disgruntled Youth · 07.25.2007, 04:49 PM

I was watching some stand up & I heard this one & it had me rolling "Go suck a bag of dicks" totally wrong but too fucking funny. To bad the rest of the stand up sucked.

the ikara cult · 07.25.2007, 04:54 PM

Amateur comedian at an open mic night vs Heckler

Heckler: "Youre shit"
Comedian: "Im shit... well... its a good job this isnt my day-job then innit? This is just a hobby of mine, and youre heckling me...
You know how i dont come onto child porn messageboards and give you a hard time?"
It was good in the sense that i didnt expect it.

Sheriff Rhys Chatham · 07.25.2007, 05:20 PM

another comedian talking about road rage.

Comedian: So I'm driving and cut this guy off then he gets all pissed. He pulls up next to me in the next and shouts "Yo, Man, I'm gonna rape you!" So then I say "Yeah, well try it!"

Prisstina · 07.25.2007, 06:02 PM

adding "AND yo momma" into any insult is a sure bet.

ie:
"fuck you AND yo momma!"
"you AND yo momma are bitches."

etc

Disgruntled Youth · 07.25.2007, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prisstina

adding "AND yo momma" into any insult is a sure bet.

ie:
"fuck you AND yo momma!"
"you AND yo momma are bitches."

etc

I personally like fuck you & the horse you came in on!!!

Sheriff Rhys Chatham · 07.25.2007, 06:08 PM

fuck face is always nice.
Also.
Nice _______, do they make it for guys?

Disgruntled Youth · 07.25.2007, 06:12 PM

Telling a person to suck it easy!!! is also fun.

floatingslowly · 07.25.2007, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disgruntled Youth

"Go suck a bag of dicks"

I think "Eat a bag of dicks" is much better. it forgoes the somewhat veiled homosexual slur in place of one suggesting cannibalism.

!@#$%! wins the internet.

flophousefloozie · 07.25.2007, 06:54 PM

That's really funny, because I saw the title of this thread and immediately thought of "eat a bag of dicks". I always use that one. Works every time, I tell ya.

flophousefloozie · 07.25.2007, 06:57 PM

Also if someone gives me a dirty look, I'll tell them they've got some serious 'tude on there face.
Their expression will then change to a confused, somewhat defeated, but insulted look. Sometimes they just wipe their face with a shirt sleeve.

the ikara cult · 07.25.2007, 07:32 PM

I have to say none of the insults on this page seem particularly cutting to me

Danny Himself · 07.25.2007, 07:40 PM

Some kid in my high school was especially hard for no apparent reason. Like, somebody would offend him and he'd just say "yeah, but you are fucking ugly, you look hideous. you're never going to have children. i hope you die.".

flophousefloozie · 07.25.2007, 08:07 PM

I don't think mother insults are very offensive. They're so impersonal. Especially if the insulter is not familiar with the insultee's own mother.

Sonic Youth 37 · 07.25.2007, 08:34 PM

A few of my personal favorite's and who spoke them:
"I hope your children wear diapers into adulthood"-some girl I know
"scum-cunted mouth-breather"-me
"(she's)so ugly I wouldn't fuck her with your dick"-me
"You should be sterilized" - me (I consider this an insult)

drrrtyboots · 07.25.2007, 08:34 PM

"Go run backwards naked through a cornfield, jerk."

Jerk is optional.

Norma J · 07.25.2007, 08:45 PM

Ya bunch of broomheads.

deflinus · 07.25.2007, 08:47 PM

i always just tell people to go fuck themselves.

Norma J · 07.25.2007, 08:47 PM

That always works too.

luxinterior · 07.25.2007, 10:52 PM

"Your pubes are white."

k-krack · 07.25.2007, 10:58 PM

I like just calling people really atrocious things, like "filthy, rotting scum scraped off the inside of a festering, moldy cunt."

07.25.2007, 04:49 PM	#1
Disgruntled Youth the end of the ugly Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: I'm sitting right beside you Posts: 839	I was watching some stand up & I heard this one & it had me rolling "Go suck a bag of dicks" totally wrong but too fucking funny. To bad the rest of the stand up sucked. __________________ Duppy know a who fi Frighten "Drink Guinness & live, Hate Guinness & die" Lee "Scratch" Perry
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.25.2007, 04:54 PM	#2
the ikara cult invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: London sink Posts: 4,576	Amateur comedian at an open mic night vs Heckler Heckler: "Youre shit" Comedian: "Im shit... well... its a good job this isnt my day-job then innit? This is just a hobby of mine, and youre heckling me... You know how i dont come onto child porn messageboards and give you a hard time?" It was good in the sense that i didnt expect it.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.25.2007, 05:20 PM	#3
Sheriff Rhys Chatham invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: New England. Posts: 4,027	another comedian talking about road rage. Comedian: So I'm driving and cut this guy off then he gets all pissed. He pulls up next to me in the next and shouts "Yo, Man, I'm gonna rape you!" So then I say "Yeah, well try it!" __________________ My Music(grunge rock) A part of this blue shit since June 24th, 2004
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.25.2007, 06:02 PM	#4
Prisstina the end of the ugly Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Killwaukee Posts: 996	adding "AND yo momma" into any insult is a sure bet. ie: "fuck you AND yo momma!" "you AND yo momma are bitches." etc __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.25.2007, 06:08 PM	#6
Sheriff Rhys Chatham invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: New England. Posts: 4,027	fuck face is always nice. Also. Nice _______, do they make it for guys? __________________ My Music(grunge rock) A part of this blue shit since June 24th, 2004
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07.25.2007, 06:12 PM	#7
Disgruntled Youth the end of the ugly Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: I'm sitting right beside you Posts: 839	Telling a person to suck it easy!!! is also fun. __________________ Duppy know a who fi Frighten "Drink Guinness & live, Hate Guinness & die" Lee "Scratch" Perry
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.25.2007, 06:54 PM	#9
flophousefloozie expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Cowtown, Canada Posts: 1,694	That's really funny, because I saw the title of this thread and immediately thought of "eat a bag of dicks". I always use that one. Works every time, I tell ya.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.25.2007, 06:57 PM	#10
flophousefloozie expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Cowtown, Canada Posts: 1,694	Also if someone gives me a dirty look, I'll tell them they've got some serious 'tude on there face. Their expression will then change to a confused, somewhat defeated, but insulted look. Sometimes they just wipe their face with a shirt sleeve.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.25.2007, 07:32 PM	#11
the ikara cult invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: London sink Posts: 4,576	I have to say none of the insults on this page seem particularly cutting to me
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07.25.2007, 07:40 PM	#12
Danny Himself invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 9,623	Some kid in my high school was especially hard for no apparent reason. Like, somebody would offend him and he'd just say "yeah, but you are fucking ugly, you look hideous. you're never going to have children. i hope you die.".
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.25.2007, 08:07 PM	#13
flophousefloozie expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Cowtown, Canada Posts: 1,694	I don't think mother insults are very offensive. They're so impersonal. Especially if the insulter is not familiar with the insultee's own mother.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

07.25.2007, 08:34 PM	#14
Sonic Youth 37 invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: if there is a bright spot in the universe, the farthest point from it Posts: 9,443	A few of my personal favorite's and who spoke them: "I hope your children wear diapers into adulthood"-some girl I know "scum-cunted mouth-breather"-me "(she's)so ugly I wouldn't fuck her with your dick"-me "You should be sterilized" - me (I consider this an insult) __________________ "One: Where's the fife? and Two: Gimme the fife."
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07.25.2007, 08:34 PM	#15
drrrtyboots invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: in the forest(s) Posts: 2,946	"Go run backwards naked through a cornfield, jerk." Jerk is optional. __________________
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07.25.2007, 08:45 PM	#16
Norma J invito al cielo Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Orstralia Posts: 4,917	Ya bunch of broomheads. __________________ I want girls with new-wave hair-doos
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07.25.2007, 08:47 PM	#17
deflinus expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: in the darkest part of your mind Posts: 1,737	i always just tell people to go fuck themselves.
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07.25.2007, 08:47 PM	#18
Norma J invito al cielo Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Orstralia Posts: 4,917	That always works too. __________________ I want girls with new-wave hair-doos
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07.25.2007, 10:52 PM	#19
luxinterior invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Missouri, land of the free and home of the brave Posts: 2,351	"Your pubes are white." __________________ "I sweat like a fucking nun on Sunday...I don't even know what that means." - Sebastian Bach
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07.25.2007, 10:58 PM	#20
k-krack invito al cielo Join Date: May 2006 Location: On Posts: 7,380	I like just calling people really atrocious things, like "filthy, rotting scum scraped off the inside of a festering, moldy cunt." __________________ sandwich klub 4 men. Danny is a C.H.U.D.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|