epic ways to quit your job?

atsonicpark · 05.20.2010, 03:17 AM

Okay, after nearly six years working at a department store 3rd shift, I think it's time for me to move on to greener pastures (and go to a video store part time... hey, free rentals! And it'll be FUN!). So, I need some epic ass way to quit. I was thinking of going down the can aisle and knocking over all the cans. Or the chemical aisle. Or taking some frozen foods pallets and parking them on the other side of the store.

pbradley · 05.20.2010, 03:24 AM

Lawsuits make for great going-away presents.

nicfit · 05.20.2010, 03:42 AM

put scissor shock music through the PA and get naked and piss on fruit/vegetables.

FreshChops · 05.20.2010, 03:45 AM

hijack the PA system and announce that all Blacks to must leave the store immediately.

nicfit · 05.20.2010, 03:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicfit

put scissor shock music through the PA and get naked and piss on fruit/vegetables.

and if you're feeling kinky, masturbate, then restart masturbating and yell "Be ready for the second coming!!".

atsonicpark · 05.20.2010, 03:55 AM

You know what's funny? After the incident freshchops referenced, they did take out ALL THE PHONES in our store (the phones that control the PA system I mean). The only ones available now are in the manager's office!

verme (prevaricator) · 05.20.2010, 03:56 AM

there are still video stores? hiring?

atsonicpark · 05.20.2010, 04:00 AM

Family Video, yeah.

2 free rentals a day or something, and they've actually got quite a lot of rare, weird shit. Nice porn section too. I would gladly take a pay cut for something I actually enjoy.. being around movies! (even if a lot of 'em are shit)

knox · 05.20.2010, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by verme (prevaricator)

there are still video stores? hiring?

Not everyone is a.
I love video stores.

Well, the best way to leave your job is to go to lunch and never come back.
I did that once.

SONIC GAIL · 05.20.2010, 09:03 AM

Get a dog. Take him to work insisting that you are now blind and must have him with you at all times for assistance. Once he starts taking shits in the grocery dept youll be outta there in no time.

EVOLghost · 05.20.2010, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knox

Well, the best way to leave your job is to go to lunch and never come back.
I did that once.

this

or just while working...just yell out DONE! then walk out.

ni'k · 05.20.2010, 09:51 AM

give your boss a lapdance wearing nothing but a thong but only make it more about diarhhea instead of dancing.

space · 05.20.2010, 10:04 AM

MESSY MASTURBATION CLEAN UP - AISLE 7

cover yrself in toilet paper, cheese crackers, a random gardening magazine and a tub of hand lotion.

at least, that's what I'd do.

amerikangod · 05.20.2010, 12:44 PM

No, no, no. You don't do it in one grand gesture. You do it slowly, over time. Keep pushing your limits, inch by inch until things get absolutely ridiculous. If you have limp-wristed bosses, they will be less inclined to call you out on the subtle things. If they actually value you as an employee, who knows what they'll end up tolerating.

I once broke a boss like this. But he loved me. He had a huge hissy fit one day because I was five minutes late. I walked out, went to the corner bodega, came back and slapped a pack of maxi pads onto his desk. Told him I had no problem leaving if that's what he wanted. He got really quiet. Ten minutes later I walked past his desk and saw him making business cards with my name on them.

space · 05.20.2010, 12:46 PM

I think I love you......no......I'm quite sure of it.

amerikangod · 05.20.2010, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by space

I think I love you......no......I'm quite sure of it.

So what are you so afraid of? Are you afraid that you're not sure of a love there is no cure for? You think you love me, isn't that what life is made of?
Though it worries you to say that you've never felt this way.

I UNDERSTAND BRO <3.

!@#$%! · 05.20.2010, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by atsonicpark

Okay, after nearly six years working at a department store 3rd shift, I think it's time for me to move on to greener pastures (and go to a video store part time... hey, free rentals! And it'll be FUN!). So, I need some epic ass way to quit. I was thinking of going down the can aisle and knocking over all the cans. Or the chemical aisle. Or taking some frozen foods pallets and parking them on the other side of the store.

shit a brick, hide it in the frozen goods? dna could be trackable though.

one thing to consider: video stores are dying like flies at the hands of netflix, so don't burn any bridges.

well maybe you wanna burn bridges so you're forced to forever move forward, which would be a good thing.

i think pissing on your boss while you stand on his desk would be epic.

dale_gribble · 05.20.2010, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by !@#$%!

i think pissing on your boss while you stand on his desk would be epic.

totally, or just taking a dump on his desk.

hevusa · 05.20.2010, 02:27 PM

Are you guys kidding me????

This... atsonicpark... will be the day you get to chew out the next smart ass customer that comes along. The one that you have had to bite your lip and be polite to in the past. Let all hell rain down upon them. It will be cathartic.

SonikJesus · 05.20.2010, 03:56 PM

Good thread. I've wondered about this myself before. I hope people start coming up with more realistic ones that they would actually do in real life, however. I'd probably just cuss out my area coach.

05.20.2010, 03:17 AM	#1
atsonicpark invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 28,843	Okay, after nearly six years working at a department store 3rd shift, I think it's time for me to move on to greener pastures (and go to a video store part time... hey, free rentals! And it'll be FUN!). So, I need some epic ass way to quit. I was thinking of going down the can aisle and knocking over all the cans. Or the chemical aisle. Or taking some frozen foods pallets and parking them on the other side of the store. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

05.20.2010, 03:24 AM	#2
pbradley invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: SoKo Posts: 10,621	Lawsuits make for great going-away presents.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

05.20.2010, 03:42 AM	#3
nicfit invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: banana boat Posts: 15,570	put scissor shock music through the PA and get naked and piss on fruit/vegetables. __________________ 11:11 11-11-11 I Ascended.
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05.20.2010, 03:45 AM	#4
FreshChops 100% Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 738	hijack the PA system and announce that all Blacks to must leave the store immediately. __________________
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05.20.2010, 03:55 AM	#6
atsonicpark invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 28,843	You know what's funny? After the incident freshchops referenced, they did take out ALL THE PHONES in our store (the phones that control the PA system I mean). The only ones available now are in the manager's office! __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

05.20.2010, 03:56 AM	#7
verme (prevaricator) 100% Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 744	there are still video stores? hiring?
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

05.20.2010, 04:00 AM	#8
atsonicpark invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 28,843	Family Video, yeah. 2 free rentals a day or something, and they've actually got quite a lot of rare, weird shit. Nice porn section too. I would gladly take a pay cut for something I actually enjoy.. being around movies! (even if a lot of 'em are shit) __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

05.20.2010, 09:03 AM	#10
SONIC GAIL invito al cielo Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: I moved from hillbilly Florida to hillbilly Alabama Posts: 3,723	Get a dog. Take him to work insisting that you are now blind and must have him with you at all times for assistance. Once he starts taking shits in the grocery dept youll be outta there in no time. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

05.20.2010, 09:51 AM	#12
ni'k invito al cielo Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,360	give your boss a lapdance wearing nothing but a thong but only make it more about diarhhea instead of dancing.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

05.20.2010, 10:04 AM	#13
space expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 1,553	MESSY MASTURBATION CLEAN UP - AISLE 7 cover yrself in toilet paper, cheese crackers, a random gardening magazine and a tub of hand lotion. at least, that's what I'd do.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

05.20.2010, 12:44 PM	#14
amerikangod invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,761	No, no, no. You don't do it in one grand gesture. You do it slowly, over time. Keep pushing your limits, inch by inch until things get absolutely ridiculous. If you have limp-wristed bosses, they will be less inclined to call you out on the subtle things. If they actually value you as an employee, who knows what they'll end up tolerating. I once broke a boss like this. But he loved me. He had a huge hissy fit one day because I was five minutes late. I walked out, went to the corner bodega, came back and slapped a pack of maxi pads onto his desk. Told him I had no problem leaving if that's what he wanted. He got really quiet. Ten minutes later I walked past his desk and saw him making business cards with my name on them. __________________
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

05.20.2010, 12:46 PM	#15
space expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 1,553	I think I love you......no......I'm quite sure of it.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

05.20.2010, 02:27 PM	#19
hevusa expwy. to yr skull Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: rain hell Posts: 1,535	Are you guys kidding me???? This... atsonicpark... will be the day you get to chew out the next smart ass customer that comes along. The one that you have had to bite your lip and be polite to in the past. Let all hell rain down upon them. It will be cathartic.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

05.20.2010, 03:56 PM	#20
SonikJesus the end of the ugly Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,006	Good thread. I've wondered about this myself before. I hope people start coming up with more realistic ones that they would actually do in real life, however. I'd probably just cuss out my area coach.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|