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Old 11.29.2013, 07:20 PM   #1
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popped into a christian bookstore to see if they had any anti-new age books, they had a whole section, my cup overfloweth
 


i recently scanned this awesome dead kennedys passage from christian conspiracy theorist texe marrs' book 'dark side of the new age: satan's plan for one world religion'. he's an expert on the new world order as well, and all tesla69's favorite freedom fighters like alex jones use him as a go to occult expert
 


anyone who doesn't hate movies should watch 'the new age: a pathway to paradise' which reveals the antichrist's plan to create a one world government and one world religion through new age, and identies a likely candidate for the biblically prophesied anti-prophet, scottish painter and esotericist benjamin creme.
 



another awesome christian world phenomena i'm hyped on is pentecostal serpent handling, based on mark 16:18 for they shall take up serpents, and no harm shall come to them, and if they should drink any deadly thing no harm shall come to them.

i personally agree with them that since the bible says that, anyone who claims to believe in it should take up serpents, at least once in their lifetime, and i think the state governments need to start respecting the religious freedoms of those who take up serpents
 
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Old 11.29.2013, 07:21 PM   #2
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this is pastor andrew hamblin who is currently facing decades in prison merely for having snakes in the state of tennessee. the idiot openly admitted to how many laws he breaks on the reality show 'snake salvation' and got busted, i don't believe you should go to jail for as long as he could just over some snakes.
 


pastor jamie coots' finger before it fell off, you can not question this guys commitment to the lord at all
 

 
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Old 11.30.2013, 08:52 AM   #3
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i'm not sure if you actually believe in this or are just making fun of it
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Old 11.30.2013, 09:16 AM   #4
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dude you should come to my town. its not even suppressed by any sanity. its not even ridiculed. walk up the road and i'll show the church where they all speak in tongues each week and the entire fucking place goes up in delirious babbling. walk down the road and i'll show you christian after christian who genuinely believe prayer healed them or their siblings when they were children, or prayer put food on their table when they were hungry. walk around for long enough and you'll see the mad pastor and his mad girlfriend who exorcise demons from people and cure them of their gender dysphoria (since the demon always comes out in the voice of the opposite gender of the person its coming from).

or how about pastor 'corrupt business scam his entire congregation' or reverend 'kiddie mcfiddler'. the whole gangs here! and they run the fucking town.

most of them spend their time wandering around making quips like the folksy fucking bumpkins they are and arguing with the weather forecast which just makes guesses and is no match for their intuition. but if you have money to be pissed down the drain, mental illness to be exploited or 2nd hand furniture and clothes to buy you're in for a treat!
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Old 11.30.2013, 11:39 AM   #5
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dude you should come to my town. its not even suppressed by any sanity. its not even ridiculed. walk up the road and i'll show the church where they all speak in tongues each week and the entire fucking place goes up in delirious babbling. walk down the road and i'll show you christian after christian who genuinely believe prayer healed them or their siblings when they were children, or prayer put food on their table when they were hungry. walk around for long enough and you'll see the mad pastor and his mad girlfriend who exorcise demons from people and cure them of their gender dysphoria (since the demon always comes out in the voice of the opposite gender of the person its coming from).

or how about pastor 'corrupt business scam his entire congregation' or reverend 'kiddie mcfiddler'. the whole gangs here! and they run the fucking town.

most of them spend their time wandering around making quips like the folksy fucking bumpkins they are and arguing with the weather forecast which just makes guesses and is no match for their intuition. but if you have money to be pissed down the drain, mental illness to be exploited or 2nd hand furniture and clothes to buy you're in for a treat!

there used to be a scottish comedian here in the US, don't know his name or know what became of him, but i always remember a joke he told in some standup, when he's making fun of his scottish roots i suppose, he says a homeless man in america approaches him and asks for spare change and he asks the audience SPARR CHAYNGE??? WHAT IS THAT???

anyway i don't have money to piss away and i don't know what i hate more, second hand shit that stinks of previous owners or mental illness, so you won't see me there any time soon, but FLEE, FLEE, FLEE.

loud americans cannot be worse than what you describe.
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Old 11.30.2013, 06:33 PM   #6
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I'd never let a christian handle my serpent, if you know what I mean.
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Old 12.01.2013, 07:29 AM   #7
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the stains of christ waft down the ages.
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Old 12.01.2013, 08:50 PM   #8
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Old 12.01.2013, 08:59 PM   #9
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They going to circumcise the kid with a snake!?
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Old 12.04.2013, 01:55 PM   #10
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You're doing it wrong..

 



so do you have a personal interpretation of mark 16 to contradict the pentecostal version, because 'take up serpents' sounds like they should be picked up. i'd be down to see different snake related christian activities(or just human cultural activities involving venomous snakes) but the 100 year old tradition of appalachian serpent handling has always been about picking them up, although i've seen older footage where they also take their shoes off and walk around near snakes
 
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Old 12.04.2013, 02:12 PM   #11
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Plenty of those Appalachian Pentecostals die from snake bite, and from strychnine poisoning (they drink gallons of the shit). Of course they explain it away by saying that the bitten and poisoned must not have been holy inthe eyes of GAWD
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Old 12.04.2013, 02:14 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by floatingslowly
I'd never let a christian handle my serpent, if you know what I mean.


Catholic School Girls Rule

http://youtu.be/y0RnFk-nYFg (never seen this video before)
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Old 12.04.2013, 02:19 PM   #13
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Plenty of those Appalachian Pentecostals die from snake bite, and from strychnine poisoning (they drink gallons of the shit). Of course they explain it away by saying that the bitten and poisoned must not have been holy inthe eyes of GAWD
gotta love natural selection at work
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Old 12.04.2013, 04:56 PM   #14
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lol
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Old 12.04.2013, 08:41 PM   #15
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gotta love natural selection at work


well most of them reproduce a whole lot, so it's not working


lots of them survive absurd amounts of bites. i'm thinking it's just not all that likely to kill. it's like dirtbiking, you're basically at risk all the time but by the umm, grace of god you slide by(glory glory) until eventually the dreaded 5 seconds come where you're fucked

they aren't scared to die, most of the converts have a background with drug overdoses and suicide attempts who have really gotten their will to live from the pentecostal feeling which naturally becomes more extreme when it gets dangerous. because they are just foregoing fear to just get high as fuck on jesus. and the music is good too, punky demented rockabilly vibes. like people think it's all punk and edgy or whatever to cut themselves with broken glass and say fuck a lot. i think it's way more punk to dance around with snakes while speaking in new languages

 

 

 
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Old 12.11.2013, 05:34 PM   #16
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Old 02.18.2014, 10:32 PM   #17
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Old 02.19.2014, 08:59 AM   #18
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he died like he lived, stupid and delusional.
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