[floatingslowly]

In the course of my day, I often have to deal with "the public". Maybe you do to.

If you've never had the chance to meet them, "the public" are the unwashed, uncouth masses, hellbent of a free meal that is spoonfed to them. They are the lowest, most despicable sort, more than worthy of our derision.

So let's hear your worst and I'll share some of mine.


I'll start: a mentally handicapped individual (read: retarded) once informed me that I was the anti-christ, over $5.00. I hope they burn in hell.


Now you!!

[floatingslowly]

"you sent me a bill"

Yes, you owe $654.10.

"wha' fer?"

You had a ________ performed on ______. Your insurance left you $544.10 deductible, and $110 in co-insurance.

"Woll, wha' didju bill me fer $654.10 then?"


Math, motherfucker. Do you speak it?

[floatingslowly]

From the vault:

"I am gunna take mah 22 chigga gun, and come shoot you and that punkass motherfucking faggot Doctor _______."

Sir, you need a psychiatrist, not a pulmonologist.

"Well it comes after".

'Comes after' what, sir?

"Motherfucker, IT COMES AFTER PULMONOLOGY, DON'T IT???"

Yes sir, it does, IN THE PHONEBOOK.


Note: this call also featured the line "white people don't care about Martin Luther King. All you people care about is Princess Di".

[EVOLghost]

pubic hairs on urinals........eww

[floatingslowly]

Originally Posted by Bytor Peltor

I'll give it a shot:


I stop at a gas station about 3:15 AM Monday morning to pick up a Houston Chronicle. When I pulled up, I see some homeless looking guy over on the grass messing with a bicycle. Messing meaning working on / repairing and not trying to steal. I come out from getting my paper and he is on the bike and right up next to my drivers side truck door. I say excuse me as I go to get in my truck and he responds: "can you give me some money so I can buy batteries for my flashlight." My first instinct is to laugh, but I get in my truck and drive away.

I had a nice young man attempt to sell me a lunchbox-sized 'panic button' whilst attempting to fill up in south Dallas (Oak Cliff to be exact).

I looked him in the eyes and quite calmly explained, "panic buttons are for the weak", and that "the can of mace I am holding should put someone down long enough for me to finish the job". He left post haste.

I know a jack move when I see one, and he picked the wrong person to attempt to pawn his broken 1980's shit on.

[floatingslowly]

Originally Posted by EVOLghost

pubic hairs on urinals........eww

What about chunky blood? Yeah, that's right. Blood. With chunks. Just sitting there on the seat. Fucking nasty.

[gast30]

on a sunny day i thought to chekout a nature park
back in the days i had a scooter and so i was on my way
as i came to the entree of the nature park put my scooter on lock
and started walking into the park and i meet a strange man in a small tennis-short and big glasses and a mustache
wich gave me an deep instintive bad feeling
like why do i feel so bad in a few seconds
he walked by
i continue to walk further into the naturepark and after 5 minutes of walking i lookback and the man i seen with his glasses and mustache was walking after me
at the same time i see a fat man comming behind the bushes where he had be hiding
the 2 men come after me
i started to run back to the entree where i had my scooter parked
one of the 2 men run after me but i was faster
i was in a choque jumped on my scooter and ride towards the police to say that those men wanted to rape me
the police found my story funny
they did not take what happend serious
they simply said there is a gay park where gay people meet

so what ? gay or not gay

they wanted to rape me


then i realized why i instinctivly feel bad when i entered that nature park and see that ugly sick guy
my instincts warned me for danger

[floatingslowly]

What were you wearing?

Maybe you were asking for it.

[jon boy]

Originally Posted by Bytor Peltor

I'll give it a shot:


I stop at a gas station about 3:15 AM Monday morning to pick up a Houston Chronicle. When I pulled up, I see some homeless looking guy over on the grass messing with a bicycle. Messing meaning working on / repairing and not trying to steal. I come out from getting my paper and he is on the bike and right up next to my drivers side truck door. I say excuse me as I go to get in my truck and he responds: "can you give me some money so I can buy batteries for my flashlight." My first instinct is to laugh, but I get in my truck and drive away.

so your horror story is that someone asked you for money for batteries. jeez the world we live in eh.

[evollove]

Some guy approached me on the street and started talking. How are you, etc.

Then he hit me up for a ride. I felt so annoyed the whole rap was just to get something out of me. No, I was hurt actually. Just a little. I declined.

After hearing your stories and seeing myself in them, I now feel like a total fucking asshole.

[gast30]

Originally Posted by floatingslowly

What were you wearing?

Maybe you were asking for it.

don't give me these crazy people talks
who say that little girls who dress sexy are asking to be abused
strange fucked up people

i was wearing normal clothes on my way for walk in the nature park
not in a dress to join a gay parade

[EVOLghost]

Buahaha.

Here's one.

One time I was waiting for this dood(deeler)...at a car wash and you know....you always have to wait a little while. Butt there was this guy two rows away from me, in the area where you vacuum yer vehicle, just fake polishing his Cadillac in a pose sticking out his ass. I notice he's looking directly at me and he instantly begins to lick his lips....smiling. I look away...a minute later I decide to look again...he's still looking at me and then signals to me if I want/do coke. I nod no then he asks me if I can suck my dick. No. Again he asks but also offers me 20 bucks to let him suck my penis. I'm saying no to this dood then he "leaves". He ends up in the next lot over with just a fence in between us. Gets out leans on the fence and asks me for my number and continues to try to talk to me. I leave.

[floatingslowly]

Originally Posted by EVOLghost

he asks me if I can suck my dick. No.

That's too bad, but then again, if you could, would you ever leave the house??

[Genteel Death]

Originally Posted by Murmer99

Oh no.

Genteel Death is going to lose it when he reads this thread.

 

[EVOLghost]

Nah, my guy didn't touch that stuff...I don't k ow about now...but we was young then.

[gast30]

Originally Posted by halfeatencake

this is my own personal horror-story

that you must produce baby's for the german jihad lol

[gast30]

no, they call it the ubermensch
producing uberbaby's
das traum des riech

[Genteel Death]

Originally Posted by foreverasskiss

my parents are rich. so i don't have to deal with the public...



i just get drunk and do this all day

 

 

[floatingslowly]

'You put my wife into a suitcase and shipped her like UPS"

How do you spell your wife's last name?

(Spells x 4, each time more venomously than the last)

No...sorry. I cannot find that name in my system.

(spells again...because, you know, spelling isn't my strong suit)

No....I'm sorry, but no...

"YOU PUT HER INTO A BOX!!"

......

"This is _____________ at ___________, right?"

No....

"sorry....wrong number."

[/sigh]

[EVOLghost]

New customers with attitude

:/


You expect answers in the morning before anyone arrives about prices and delivery. Sure I can give you info, but it'll be better/more accurate if a proper sales person does it. And no, I'm not going to give you the owner's cellphone number...



And it's not that we don't want yer business, it's that yer a bitch.