Look What I Found In My Bible

schizophrenicroom · 12.28.2006, 03:35 PM

I scanned this last night. I truly believe that I was experiencing a divine intervention. I was about to sell my soul to Stephen Malkmus

It says RIGHT THERE that Steve Shelley and his minion Mark Ibold are the righteous kings.

If you don't believe me.. then you are a sinner. REPENT, SINNERS.

Iain · 12.28.2006, 03:38 PM

My favourite bit in the bible is the bit about the dinosaur.

schizophrenicroom · 12.28.2006, 03:40 PM

Sonic Youth take that dinosaur on tour with them. It's a Dutch dinosaur who recites the Prophecies of Steve for 1.25 for anyone who wants to learn the Path of Shelley.

Everyneurotic · 12.28.2006, 03:45 PM

you haven't gotten to revelations yet? it says manowar come down to the earth to sacrifice the whole human race to save the metal. then glenn danzig appears and they battle for the good will of network television.

schizophrenicroom · 12.28.2006, 03:48 PM

actually, i have not. but i will read it now. that battle is the only reason humanity survives anymore (other than our TRUE SAVIOURS STEVE AND MARK). i have read the whole chapter about the resurrection of glenn branca that will happen in a thousand years. shit was messed up, man..

ni'k · 12.28.2006, 03:56 PM

There's a good chapter dedicated to stories of Jesus's last days as a prostitute, where he sold himself and the nail holes in his hands and feet on the treacherous, dirty back alleys of Las Vegas for crack.

ni'k · 12.28.2006, 03:58 PM

I won't spoil the ending for you, but it involves Colonel Catfish, a wager on a race around the world and many, many crude references to the fact the disciple Paul died thru anal bleeding due to sphyllitic pyschosis

schizophrenicroom · 12.28.2006, 03:58 PM

that comes right after the one about how thurston and lee actually were asian mansluts in silver lame hot pants to earn money for guitars, right? that story about jesus made me cry. because those back alleys are just horrible.

yeah, anal bleeding sucks. not as much as leakage, though. not that i know.

ni'k · 12.28.2006, 04:00 PM

at least with leakage you can make a nice spicy cocktail

schizophrenicroom · 12.28.2006, 04:03 PM

with shrimp, that cocktail is orgasmic

ni'k · 12.28.2006, 04:05 PM

i cant rep you again. but that was genius in every way.

schizophrenicroom · 12.28.2006, 04:06 PM

i'm a genius like that

schizophrenicroom · 12.28.2006, 06:01 PM

Danny Himself · 12.28.2006, 06:03 PM

Nothing about Kannberg in revelations?

Everyneurotic · 12.28.2006, 06:04 PM

i like the old testament better you know? where syd barrett brings a plague of locusts on roky erickson's pants or when lydia lunch seduces pete townsend to part the red sea with jimi hendrix's flamming guitar at woodstock.

i also like the part about the pterodactyls.

schizophrenicroom · 12.28.2006, 09:31 PM

danny- if you read closely.

every-e- REP.

12.28.2006, 03:35 PM	#1
schizophrenicroom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: behind you Posts: 10,807	I scanned this last night. I truly believe that I was experiencing a divine intervention. I was about to sell my soul to Stephen Malkmus It says RIGHT THERE that Steve Shelley and his minion Mark Ibold are the righteous kings. If you don't believe me.. then you are a sinner. REPENT, SINNERS. __________________ fuck i'm frustrated, freaking out something fierce, would you help me? i'm hungry and i stuffer and i startle, i struggle and i stammer til i'm up to my ears in miserable quote unquote "art"
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

12.28.2006, 03:38 PM	#2
Iain invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 2,544	My favourite bit in the bible is the bit about the dinosaur.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

12.28.2006, 03:40 PM	#3
schizophrenicroom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: behind you Posts: 10,807	Sonic Youth take that dinosaur on tour with them. It's a Dutch dinosaur who recites the Prophecies of Steve for 1.25 for anyone who wants to learn the Path of Shelley. __________________ fuck i'm frustrated, freaking out something fierce, would you help me? i'm hungry and i stuffer and i startle, i struggle and i stammer til i'm up to my ears in miserable quote unquote "art"
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

12.28.2006, 03:45 PM	#4
Everyneurotic invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Mexico Posts: 15,713	you haven't gotten to revelations yet? it says manowar come down to the earth to sacrifice the whole human race to save the metal. then glenn danzig appears and they battle for the good will of network television. __________________ Richard Clayderman found alive and still bland! Repo Man has all night! Photographic evidence of Monosodic's existance! New Kiddieriot shit after all! Never too late to share fave rex from the year before! David Keenan is a douchebag! Ron Asheton missed!
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

12.28.2006, 03:48 PM	#5
schizophrenicroom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: behind you Posts: 10,807	actually, i have not. but i will read it now. that battle is the only reason humanity survives anymore (other than our TRUE SAVIOURS STEVE AND MARK). i have read the whole chapter about the resurrection of glenn branca that will happen in a thousand years. shit was messed up, man.. __________________ fuck i'm frustrated, freaking out something fierce, would you help me? i'm hungry and i stuffer and i startle, i struggle and i stammer til i'm up to my ears in miserable quote unquote "art"
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

12.28.2006, 03:56 PM	#6
ni'k invito al cielo Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,360	There's a good chapter dedicated to stories of Jesus's last days as a prostitute, where he sold himself and the nail holes in his hands and feet on the treacherous, dirty back alleys of Las Vegas for crack.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

12.28.2006, 03:58 PM	#7
ni'k invito al cielo Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,360	I won't spoil the ending for you, but it involves Colonel Catfish, a wager on a race around the world and many, many crude references to the fact the disciple Paul died thru anal bleeding due to sphyllitic pyschosis
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

12.28.2006, 04:00 PM	#9
ni'k invito al cielo Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,360	at least with leakage you can make a nice spicy cocktail
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

12.28.2006, 04:03 PM	#10
schizophrenicroom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: behind you Posts: 10,807	with shrimp, that cocktail is orgasmic __________________ fuck i'm frustrated, freaking out something fierce, would you help me? i'm hungry and i stuffer and i startle, i struggle and i stammer til i'm up to my ears in miserable quote unquote "art"
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

12.28.2006, 04:05 PM	#11
ni'k invito al cielo Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,360	i cant rep you again. but that was genius in every way.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

12.28.2006, 04:06 PM	#12
schizophrenicroom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: behind you Posts: 10,807	i'm a genius like that __________________ fuck i'm frustrated, freaking out something fierce, would you help me? i'm hungry and i stuffer and i startle, i struggle and i stammer til i'm up to my ears in miserable quote unquote "art"
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

12.28.2006, 06:01 PM	#13
schizophrenicroom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: behind you Posts: 10,807	bump __________________ fuck i'm frustrated, freaking out something fierce, would you help me? i'm hungry and i stuffer and i startle, i struggle and i stammer til i'm up to my ears in miserable quote unquote "art"
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

12.28.2006, 06:03 PM	#14
Danny Himself invito al cielo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 9,623	Nothing about Kannberg in revelations?
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

12.28.2006, 06:04 PM	#15
Everyneurotic invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Mexico Posts: 15,713	i like the old testament better you know? where syd barrett brings a plague of locusts on roky erickson's pants or when lydia lunch seduces pete townsend to part the red sea with jimi hendrix's flamming guitar at woodstock. i also like the part about the pterodactyls. __________________ Richard Clayderman found alive and still bland! Repo Man has all night! Photographic evidence of Monosodic's existance! New Kiddieriot shit after all! Never too late to share fave rex from the year before! David Keenan is a douchebag! Ron Asheton missed!
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

12.28.2006, 09:31 PM	#16
schizophrenicroom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: behind you Posts: 10,807	danny- if you read closely. every-e- REP. __________________ fuck i'm frustrated, freaking out something fierce, would you help me? i'm hungry and i stuffer and i startle, i struggle and i stammer til i'm up to my ears in miserable quote unquote "art"
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|