Vernon Kay

demonrail666 · 09.14.2008, 01:16 PM

OK. First off. I hate the cunt. Now 'hate' isn't a word I apply that often (Hitler, Frank Lampard, Dermot O'Leary, that's about it) but honestly, this man is ruining TV more than Edmonds, Beadle and Ant n Dec combined.

He's ruined Family Fortunes with his cheeky Oasis-friendly grin and now he's destroying variety TV by hosting For One Night Only.

I know I should've stuck this in the 'irrelevant' thread but sorry, I need to make a stand with this. Vernon Kay needs stopping.

Tess Daly, his wife, annoys the fuck out of me too.

Apologies to any of you that have absolutely no idea what the fuck I'm going on about here.

jon boy · 09.14.2008, 01:20 PM

if vernon were to fall of a cliff, i would not not bat an eyelid.

This Is Not Here · 09.14.2008, 01:22 PM

Let us end the bastard.

demonrail666 · 09.14.2008, 01:29 PM

I remember watching him once present this award ceremony for computer games a couple of years ago. The audience was basically made up of blokes that looked like Rory Mcgrath and you could tell they fucking hated him. Pure tumbleweeds during his mis-firing one-liners. He absolutely died. Sheer pleasure to watch. You could almost taste the audience's collective loathing and I'm sure most of them were just confused as to why they had to suffer this buffoon when any sensible person would've booked Bill Bailey for the gig.

jon boy · 09.14.2008, 01:32 PM

i liked charlie brookers idea for a new video game for the wii where all you do is repeatedly poke a virtual vernon in the eye with a stick.

MellySingsDoom · 09.14.2008, 01:43 PM

Vernon Kay has a face that needs regular panning, followed by an immersion into a tub of boiling lard. Kill the fool!

floatingslowly · 09.14.2008, 01:47 PM

what the hell are you trying to say??

speak Englis....American, please.

MellySingsDoom · 09.14.2008, 01:49 PM

panning = punching

floatingslowly · 09.14.2008, 02:07 PM

I thought you meant to cook him. I was going to request the spleen.

demonrail666 · 09.14.2008, 02:07 PM

I will happily donate my entire* collection of Eurythmics CDs to anyone who kills Kay.

*When I say 'all' that's all of them except the Deluxe version of 'Revenge', which has an extended version of 'Thorn in My Side' on it and is therefore staying put. All the rest though, kill Kay to death and they're yours - including The Ultimate Collection. I'll even throw in some Tourists stuff if you off Daly as well. You can't say fairer than blonde.

Glice · 09.14.2008, 03:10 PM

There was a programme hosted by him a few years ago, before he put his captain ubiquity cap on. It was one of those Don't forget your toothbrush knock-offs that were doing the rounds (cf that Denise 'nonsense' Van Outen's show). Kay gleefully got someone up from the audience to perform on stage as 'that bloke from that [lynx] advert'. If thoughts could slit throats...

demonrail666 · 09.14.2008, 03:29 PM

He really is pushing his luck with the whole 'Chris Evans your mum would like' schtick. Seriously, there has to be some high ranking female exec at ITV that's feeling the benefit of Kay's manhood. I can't think of any other reason why a nation is currently having to suffer his pointlessness. I mean Edmonds, Tarrant and Beadle, as annoying as they are/were, there's a glint of (albeit maniacal) intelligence there. With Kay, all you get is that fucking grin.

Glice · 09.14.2008, 03:46 PM

Edmonds, Tarrant, Beadle - all notoriously to the right of general Daily Mail politics. Are you suggesting that Kay is a Jew-eating black-hater? If so, I can only conclude that you're right.

He lives in the same apartment block as Gary Bushell. What more proof do you need?

demonrail666 · 09.14.2008, 04:29 PM

In all seriousness, I'm sure if any of us sat down with Edmonds, we'd be confronted by a very sharp individual. We may find his world-view unsympathetic but i've yet to hear him, or Tarrant, or Beadle, even Evans described as morons. What could you possibly talk to Vernon Kay about? Bolton fuckin' Wanderers, and hair!

MellySingsDoom · 09.14.2008, 06:51 PM

Have a look again at demon's Vernon pic - the fuckwit is at a music festival wearing Crocs! Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaa!

Lurker · 09.14.2008, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MellySingsDoom

Have a look again at demon's Vernon pic - the fuckwit is at a music festival wearing Crocs! Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaa!

Damn, you beat me to it.

stu666 · 09.15.2008, 10:31 AM

Bad News:

Shit,

Vernon Kay is not dead!

Vernon is o-Kay after web 'death'

http://www.didtheydie.com/morgue.php?celebid=482

was it someone from here who changed his Wikipedia entry

09.14.2008, 01:16 PM	#1
demonrail666 invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 18,509	OK. First off. I hate the cunt. Now 'hate' isn't a word I apply that often (Hitler, Frank Lampard, Dermot O'Leary, that's about it) but honestly, this man is ruining TV more than Edmonds, Beadle and Ant n Dec combined. He's ruined Family Fortunes with his cheeky Oasis-friendly grin and now he's destroying variety TV by hosting For One Night Only. I know I should've stuck this in the 'irrelevant' thread but sorry, I need to make a stand with this. Vernon Kay needs stopping. Tess Daly, his wife, annoys the fuck out of me too. Apologies to any of you that have absolutely no idea what the fuck I'm going on about here.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

09.14.2008, 01:20 PM	#2
jon boy invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: psycho battery Posts: 12,161	if vernon were to fall of a cliff, i would not not bat an eyelid. __________________ Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing \|@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

09.14.2008, 01:22 PM	#3
This Is Not Here invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Kingston-Upon-Thames, London Posts: 2,586	Let us end the bastard. __________________ http://images.google.co.uk/url?sourc...zLTl_B146tcuiw ~~Record of the moment~~
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

09.14.2008, 01:29 PM	#4
demonrail666 invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 18,509	I remember watching him once present this award ceremony for computer games a couple of years ago. The audience was basically made up of blokes that looked like Rory Mcgrath and you could tell they fucking hated him. Pure tumbleweeds during his mis-firing one-liners. He absolutely died. Sheer pleasure to watch. You could almost taste the audience's collective loathing and I'm sure most of them were just confused as to why they had to suffer this buffoon when any sensible person would've booked Bill Bailey for the gig.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

09.14.2008, 01:32 PM	#5
jon boy invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: psycho battery Posts: 12,161	i liked charlie brookers idea for a new video game for the wii where all you do is repeatedly poke a virtual vernon in the eye with a stick. __________________ Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing \|@ <------- Euphoric brain cell just moments before expiration V _ \ / _ PING <-------- moments later / \ http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljhxq...isruo1_500.gif
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

09.14.2008, 01:43 PM	#6
MellySingsDoom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,662	Vernon Kay has a face that needs regular panning, followed by an immersion into a tub of boiling lard. Kill the fool! __________________ Snow on Easter Sunday - Jesus Christ in reverse.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

09.14.2008, 01:47 PM	#7
floatingslowly invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 21,165	what the hell are you trying to say?? speak Englis....American, please.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

09.14.2008, 01:49 PM	#8
MellySingsDoom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,662	panning = punching __________________ Snow on Easter Sunday - Jesus Christ in reverse.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

09.14.2008, 02:07 PM	#9
floatingslowly invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 21,165	I thought you meant to cook him. I was going to request the spleen.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

09.14.2008, 03:29 PM	#12
demonrail666 invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 18,509	He really is pushing his luck with the whole 'Chris Evans your mum would like' schtick. Seriously, there has to be some high ranking female exec at ITV that's feeling the benefit of Kay's manhood. I can't think of any other reason why a nation is currently having to suffer his pointlessness. I mean Edmonds, Tarrant and Beadle, as annoying as they are/were, there's a glint of (albeit maniacal) intelligence there. With Kay, all you get is that fucking grin.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

09.14.2008, 04:29 PM	#14
demonrail666 invito al cielo Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 18,509	In all seriousness, I'm sure if any of us sat down with Edmonds, we'd be confronted by a very sharp individual. We may find his world-view unsympathetic but i've yet to hear him, or Tarrant, or Beadle, even Evans described as morons. What could you possibly talk to Vernon Kay about? Bolton fuckin' Wanderers, and hair!
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

09.14.2008, 06:51 PM	#15
MellySingsDoom invito al cielo Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 8,662	Have a look again at demon's Vernon pic - the fuckwit is at a music festival wearing Crocs! Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaa! __________________ Snow on Easter Sunday - Jesus Christ in reverse.
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|

09.15.2008, 10:31 AM	#17
stu666 Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Stowmarket Posts: 13,498	Bad News: Shit, Vernon Kay is not dead! Vernon is o-Kay after web 'death' http://www.didtheydie.com/morgue.php?celebid=482 was it someone from here who changed his Wikipedia entry __________________ http://tapewormstu.blogspot.co.uk/
	\|QUOTE AND REPLY\|