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Old 03.26.2019, 09:59 PM   #261
Dr. Eugene Felikson
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i'm really not even into all the drugs and shit anymore man

i just want a wholesome existence, idk. my hero is spider-man. dead ass. like he goes around trying to save everyone, splitting his responsibilities and he's misunderstood. seen as a menace, and he never gets credit for what he does. does he get aunt may's heart medication, stop a bank robbery or meet up with MJ on that date? hes just trying to do the most good

like my mom and aunt were adopted from poland yknow? so like my moms the schizo weird one and my dad's the type of dude who impregnates a schizo. both are hardly literate, and i grew up sorta raising myself, locked away in my room beating my dick, cranking up korn cd's and playing nintendo - terrified of my mom talking to herself and shaking, taking her medicine, spilling it everywhere, staining the carpet

my mom's sister and her husband had two kids. whole family is very much right wing. super into the military, air force, Catholicism, etc. i'll never fit in with them, and i never have

ive been doing some soul searching and i think that plays a big part of why i am the way i am. idk. rebelling against that idea of perfection yet so desperately wanting to be a part of it.

everyone tells me i need therapy, but im so scared theyll put me on meds thatll hurt me physically, like whats beeen happening to my mom

its time to face my demons though, i guess. i just always thought that maybe with enough art i could escape all this shit. guess not. i was so good to that girl too. she didn't appreciate what she had here. *sigh*


i wish there was somewhere for me to hang my hat that wasn't like some alt-right misogynist rabbit hole.
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Old 03.26.2019, 10:01 PM   #262
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Quote:
Originally Posted by choc e-Claire
Hamburgers I could turn down. Make it a chicken schnitzel, though, and I'd be in trouble.


you're a saint, Claire
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Old 03.26.2019, 10:04 PM   #263
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choc e-Claire kicks all y'all's asseschoc e-Claire kicks all y'all's asseschoc e-Claire kicks all y'all's asseschoc e-Claire kicks all y'all's asseschoc e-Claire kicks all y'all's asseschoc e-Claire kicks all y'all's asseschoc e-Claire kicks all y'all's asseschoc e-Claire kicks all y'all's asseschoc e-Claire kicks all y'all's asseschoc e-Claire kicks all y'all's asseschoc e-Claire kicks all y'all's asses
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Originally Posted by Dr. Eugene Felikson
you're a saint, Claire
I have descended from the heavens to bless these dark corners of the Internet. Now pray to me as your god.
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Making myself up as I go along. Check out my music-themed blog, 79:57.
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Old 03.26.2019, 10:24 PM   #264
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no drugs? but i remember your new year better than you do ha ha ha

impregnating a schizo: look: not joking: someone had to! and here you are. don’t waste this chance.

somewhere to hang your hat: therapy! group is good too.

look, nobody can give you meds without your consent. learning to cope, dealing with survivor guilt, learning acceptance, etc, that is not meds.

the best education i ever got was 7 years therapy. ofc it took a few tries. some doctors are shitheads. but if you find a good shrink holy fuck it’s the best. like a priest without the religion. and they do groups which cost little to no $, depending. actually i had great shrinks. one who cured me and another who kept me sane in tough times. gotta try a few to find the one: like a pair of shoes.
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Old 03.26.2019, 10:30 PM   #265
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yeah, i could use it. just binge ate some VERY spicy ramen and am listening to neurosis. i feel better, got that spicy food rush. gonna play some games to escape for a bit.

i just cant let this become my life. all alone playing video games. there's so much to do yknow? like i gotta get out and express myself. create my own destiny and shit

i got this book in the mail today, i'm gonna read it front to back:


 


it's from the Dilbert guy, but i've heard great things, just flipping through it seems very helpful

thanks for being you,!@#@$!@!#

it means a lot
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Old 03.26.2019, 10:33 PM   #266
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Originally Posted by !@#$%!
no drugs? but i remember your new year better than you do ha ha ha


i was only drunk that night i swear. we dont talk about that night anymore though. that's the night i hooked up with she-wolf.

coke night was new year's day. and i regretted it instantly that next morning. dried up blood in my nose and everything. i was disgusted with myself.


i wanna be as clear headed as possible. someone my cousin's kids can look up to. not their druggie uncle. i wanna give them 2nd cousins to play with yknow?
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Old 03.27.2019, 12:13 AM   #267
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being alive fucking sucks hahahaha
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Old 03.27.2019, 12:14 AM   #268
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like what an idiot, dumping me

clearly im the shiznit and a bag of chips
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Old 03.27.2019, 04:47 AM   #269
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oh i realize now you are sore about it. understandable, man. rejection is always painful, even when it’s good/necessary.

and it’s too soon to make kids! way too soon. take it easy there. go to therapy first! learn to handle things.

that scott adams book is okay. the main takeaway for me was that chasing goals is stupid, but creating systems that produce consisten results is the key to... advancement, whatever. yes, the day in & day out. the rest i have mostly forgotten but that was my big payoff. routines matter A LOT.

ok gtg work...
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Old 03.27.2019, 08:30 AM   #270
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Yea it is what it is ultimately. We were having so much fun together, but if she decided to flee the nest on a whim. I dont really need someone flippant like that here anyhow

Ain't got no time for that early twenties ballyhoo
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Old 03.27.2019, 12:36 PM   #271
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Eugene Felikson
Yea it is what it is ultimately. We were having so much fun together, but if she decided to flee the nest on a whim. I dont really need someone flippant like that here anyhow

Ain't got no time for that early twenties ballyhoo

yeah no fuc dat lololo

i'd like to say more but fucking millennial internet police lol

the puritans and their torches
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Old 03.27.2019, 02:05 PM   #272
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Yea its in the past now, and I'm not gonna sweat it.

Should've noticed the obvious red flag when she called me an ableist for calling my friend an autist (which he literally is lol)

I feel better today. Got some sunshine, bought some powdered donuts, and even painstakingly sewed a backpatch onto my jacket.

One day at a time.
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Old 03.27.2019, 03:05 PM   #273
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h8kurdt kicks all y'all's assesh8kurdt kicks all y'all's assesh8kurdt kicks all y'all's assesh8kurdt kicks all y'all's assesh8kurdt kicks all y'all's assesh8kurdt kicks all y'all's assesh8kurdt kicks all y'all's assesh8kurdt kicks all y'all's assesh8kurdt kicks all y'all's assesh8kurdt kicks all y'all's assesh8kurdt kicks all y'all's asses
Sorry bout this shitty news, man. Nothing hurts worse than heartbreak. What I will say is for the love of God don't look on any of her social media. I remember making that mistake and it's just awful. Especially when the obligatory new profile pic comes up. Don't do it.
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Down with this sort of thing.
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Old 03.27.2019, 03:31 PM   #274
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Old 03.27.2019, 06:23 PM   #275
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EVOLghost kicks all y'all's assesEVOLghost kicks all y'all's assesEVOLghost kicks all y'all's assesEVOLghost kicks all y'all's assesEVOLghost kicks all y'all's assesEVOLghost kicks all y'all's assesEVOLghost kicks all y'all's assesEVOLghost kicks all y'all's assesEVOLghost kicks all y'all's assesEVOLghost kicks all y'all's assesEVOLghost kicks all y'all's asses
Dang bruh...heavy stuff yo. This is a good time to put some time into a cool talent....
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Old 03.27.2019, 07:44 PM   #276
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EVOLghost
Dang bruh...heavy stuff yo. This is a good time to put some time into a cool talent....


yeah i'll be fine man. ive got rocksmith on pc recently. time to finally learn that 7 string guitar instead of just buying pedals like a capitalist pig boy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by h8kurdt
Sorry bout this shitty news, man. Nothing hurts worse than heartbreak. What I will say is for the love of God don't look on any of her social media. I remember making that mistake and it's just awful. Especially when the obligatory new profile pic comes up. Don't do it.


lol i dont have conventional social media, just this forum, a video game/politcs one, discord and reddit. im chillin the most.

she called me 4 times today but i have her number blocked.

must want her water filter back. look at me not giving a fuck.

ive got so much bigger issues w getting my mom on social security, putting her in a group home, etc.

i dont care about some 22 yo girl atm

(god i never thought id say that)

She'll end up throwing a brick through my window or some shit, keying my car, i'll call the cops like the swine i am and that'll be that

it's not about missing her at this point. its about getting my life back. i miss the sex and having someone to come home to at night. not her specifically. believe me.

THANKS FOR LETTING ME VENT GUYS, EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU
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Old 03.27.2019, 08:05 PM   #277
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!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses!@#$%! kicks all y'all's asses
were you able to decode my message? xD
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Old 03.27.2019, 08:09 PM   #278
Dr. Eugene Felikson
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pussy eating me alive?
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Old 03.27.2019, 09:06 PM   #279
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pussy eating me alive?
find yrself a hot cougar that gives good head? haaa haaa haaa
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Old 03.27.2019, 09:58 PM   #280
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bro this chick called me like 8 times today, i have her number blocked so they all went straight to voicemail.

like i get it, she left her water filter here. theyre like $30 on amazon. i dont have it in me to interact with her anymore. i gave her ample time to get her shit and was as cordial as possible. she was a total jerk the entire time.

im just keeping the house on lockdown and her number blocked. what are the odds she does something nuts?
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