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Old 09.10.2006, 05:15 PM   #1
SpectralJulianIsNotDead
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There will be a band that never records an album, and they will tour constantly. And their music will be awesome fuck you in the ass type noise-rock. But they are going to take it one step beyond. They will never ever shower and travel with a van full of cats and dogs.

They will be the most offensive band ever, they will attack all of your senses.

They will smell so bad you can kind of taste it, they will attack your ears with noise, have an incredibly visual act with some of the ugliest people you have ever seen, and the music will be louder than MBV to the point that it shakes your clothing.

People will die at their shows, others will be reduced to the fetal position on the floor, others will simply vomit.

When we reach a certain point in making music where you can't really build on top of it, there will be a performance art band like this. And we'll fucking eat it up.
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Old 09.10.2006, 05:17 PM   #2
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too bad. im already in that band. were called "fucking a dead whore with jesus' chopped off fucking dick"
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Old 09.10.2006, 05:19 PM   #3
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Heh. This reminds me of:

ARAB ON RADAR are renowned for their incomparable live shows . Audience members have been known to have SEIZURES, HEART ATTACKS, and HEIGHTENED STATES OF SEXUAL AROUSAL while watching the band perform. Late in 2001, Arab On Radar released their latest album, "Yahweh Or The Highway".
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Old 09.10.2006, 05:19 PM   #4
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so it's going to be a gg allin tribute band where the whole band pays tribute to gg allin?
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Old 09.10.2006, 05:19 PM   #5
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sounds like NNCK playing Tony Conrad with huge speakers at high volume
yeah
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Old 09.10.2006, 05:24 PM   #6
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But do they smell like cat piss and feet? That is the next step. Those of us that can stand next to the PAs all night will have a new challenge, dealing with a combined attack.
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Old 09.10.2006, 05:26 PM   #7
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Tribute bands have been doing that for years so the tribute scene was clearly ahead of its time.What about disposing of the instruments alltogether?That'd be an idea.Oh,wait,air musicians have been there already too.,damn it!
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Old 09.10.2006, 05:27 PM   #8
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worse. we smell like roses and mustard gas and decaying corpses. one of the members, we killed him, so he is dead, but we still give him a microphone and sit him on a broken keyboard so noise is emitted.
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Old 09.10.2006, 05:36 PM   #9
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Some other musical innovations bound to happen:

There will be a band in which all of the musical instruments react with eachother like one huge synthesizer.

The singer's heartbeat will be played through the PAs and also set the MIDI clocks for the band. The midi clock will control the speed at which loopers loop, the drum machine pounds out a 1-2-1-2 beat, and the delay time and modulation time on the guitarist's pedal board among other things. The percussionist and vocalist will have additional mics for controlling envelope followers, and the guitarist and bassist will both control envelope followers as well. The different envelope followers will control different CV devices such as pedals on the guitarists and bassists pedal boards, and perhaps a synth (if there is one.) Different instruments will ring modulate eachother.

I don't know what it will sound like, but I want to be in that band, and I think it will be awesome.
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Old 09.10.2006, 05:42 PM   #10
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That's been done already too.The band Bradford Bahamas invented a machine that can generate white noise by inserting cables with a needle into their veins.The blood stream and its flow therefore generate the racket.
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Old 09.10.2006, 05:49 PM   #11
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But do their bloodflows ring modulater eachother, and does the volume control a filter on eachother's wah pedals?
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Old 09.10.2006, 05:53 PM   #12
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The only time i've seen them playing with that thing they were all connected to the same software so i assume that there was some blood flow interaction there.To be honest,the racket was so loud that half the crowd got scared and left.
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Old 09.10.2006, 10:47 PM   #13
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Here's an innovation: how about pleasant, entertaining melodies?

I realize this thread is drenched in sarcasm (I hope so anyway), but we're beginning to reach a point where the most offensive thing a band will be able to do is be completely harmless and non-confrontational (it's already offensive to some people).
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Old 09.10.2006, 10:48 PM   #14
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Calvin Johnson's last album "What Was Me" is just that. I like it a lot.
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Old 09.11.2006, 01:05 AM   #15
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i think offensive rock 'n roll characters really did peak with gg allen. i don't think the sickest, most depraved human beings on the planet could beat his standard even if they really really tried. i guess murder on stage followed by sex with the deceased
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Old 09.11.2006, 10:11 AM   #16
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I saw something on the History Channel about a banjo player in the old west who shot his rival without missing a beat during a performance. I think it peaked there. Rock and Roll isn't half as cool as him.
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Old 09.11.2006, 10:19 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dietzer123
i think offensive rock 'n roll characters really did peak with gg allen. i don't think the sickest, most depraved human beings on the planet could beat his standard even if they really really tried. i guess murder on stage followed by sex with the deceased

Bands like KK Rampge and Arab on Radar weren't as disgusting as GG but definitely just as sick and offensive. I love it.
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