An update, for anyone interested...
I hear ya, sway. Good mental health = good sexual response, at least for me, at this point in my life.
Amerikangod, you still havent fulfilled your promises of cumming straight into my brain. I'm waiiiitiiing
SO. In short, I started taking head meds when I probably should have been on them a decade ago, cut off a dead relationship (we are now friends, like we should have been for years now, fuck) and am brewing something up with someone who shares a mutual intense multi-layered connection, my sex drive has skyrocketed, my pleasure for life has skyrocketed, I'm experiencing feelings in GENERAL with such clarity and focus that its like a sudden burst of fireworks in my brain at midnight. I cant be with this person yet, but I bought an amazing vibrator and have been having some of the best orgasms ever, I feel feminine for once and take care of myself and wear pretty dresses, my positivity just radiates from me and people respond back to me, everything just feels so good. Even in the turmoil of this difficult breakup, I feel like I'm being guided by a light shining on the fact that it was all meant to come down to this, that its the best thing for both of us, we will become stronger for it and so it really hasnt been so bad (as almost 10 years gone could have been).
Thanks again for all your suggestions and secrets !