And then the doozy which has really shaken me up and literally (literally!) cost me sleep: "You're a pervert! And everyone knows it!"
Then she stormed off. It took me a few seconds to recover, so maybe she didn't hear me call out, "What? What are you talking about? Hey. You can't say that to me."
???? and !!!!
My first thought was, "Sure. Anyone my age and not married is either a fag or a pervert."
But concretely, the only thing I've been able to come up with of is maybe she was looking in my window when I was jerking off or something.
Or--and I'm really stretching here--she was looking at me jerk-off while at the same unfortunate time the neighbor's daughter on the other side was coincidentally outside playing. !!! THAT would be worth calling the sheriff about. I certainly would, without hesitation. But this scenario is highly unlikely. I don't exactly feel comfortable being naked in front of an open window. And I don't exactly feel comfortable being sexual when kids are audible (much less visible). Put the two together, and without a picture or video proof, I set this theory aside as implausible and am left with utter confusion.
But the "and everyone knows" was especially galling. Whatever she saw, or thinks she saw, she told everyone? And who's "everyone"? I wouldn't be surprised if they're all Facebook friends or whatever.
Can't go over and ask what the hell she meant. Can't call, I don't think. Maybe I could write a letter, but I can't imagine a response. ("Dear Neighbor, Let me explain the reason why I called you a pervert...")
And can I possibly trust the friendly wave of a neighbor ever again?
There's some humor to be found in this, eventually. Maybe. But right now I'm shaken and depressed and I actually feel queasy. I can go about my day, but the insults ring in my ear. I can't really concentrate.
I wish I could even get angry, but I just feel fucking miserable.
Is there a brick coming through my window one of these days?
And all I did was ask my neighbor to not use his leaf blower for "about an hour."
Man, if I did something wrong, I'll apologize. But I have no idea what has happened.