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shane o shea: twenty something year old shell suited chav in and out of prison like a yo-yo for robbing old ladies who looks like the guy at the end of robocop who gets acid poured all over him and ends up looking like a cross between a human, a pig and a zombie used to frequent the record shop that i worked in and would come in everyday to put oasis on the personal listening dock and sing along at the top of his lungs as we watched him like a hawk.
another regular of the record shop was the Midnight Runner, who came in and only wanted songs with swear words. he runs around town at night carrying a massive ghetto blaster, flashing lights and wearing oversized headphones.
there was a lad (i think his name was johnny) who went into spar and asked for a leg of lamb. when the guy at the desk told him that they dont sell lamb Johnny laid him out.
and then there was the Police Woman, an elderly old crone who used to hang around the park with her little dog and nicked our footballs. when we asked for them back she used to say into her jacket "units, units, calling all units". We called the police on her a few times. i remember they turned up once in their car and she tried to do a runner on foot… she's dead now.
Also there was a guy who used to go up to complete strangers & ask 'what would you do if you had Johnny Cash's money?'.
also, my dad knew a guy who worked in the library and there was a guy who'd go into the toilets with Barbie Dolls, spill his love juice on them and then leave them there. my dad's friend had to clean it up once.
ahh... jersey life.
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