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Old 01.24.2009, 03:09 PM   #150
The Earl Of Slander
the end of the ugly
 
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Join Date: Jun 2007
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The Earl Of Slander kicks all y'all's assesThe Earl Of Slander kicks all y'all's assesThe Earl Of Slander kicks all y'all's assesThe Earl Of Slander kicks all y'all's assesThe Earl Of Slander kicks all y'all's assesThe Earl Of Slander kicks all y'all's assesThe Earl Of Slander kicks all y'all's assesThe Earl Of Slander kicks all y'all's assesThe Earl Of Slander kicks all y'all's assesThe Earl Of Slander kicks all y'all's assesThe Earl Of Slander kicks all y'all's asses
I have a whole load of albums I call the "regretful pile", which are remenants of my godawful taste from my early teen years, and that are so shitty and removed from what I listen to now that I don't think they really 'count'. Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Sum 41 and so on. Nothing original. Out of those however, one particular monstrosity always stands out, like a turd floating to the surface, and that is:

OPM - Forthemasses


 



The English language is simply insufficient to convey how brain rapingly awful this album is, but a sample section of the lyrics from the first single, 'Horny', may go some way to giving you an idea:

I keep on lookin' at her like I got game
"What's your sign girl what's your name?"
"Are you lookin' at me like I'm lookin' at you?"
Later on baby doll we'll be cookin' for two

Cuz girl's come and girls yes they go
I wish these girls would just let me know
Can I take you home to night
Is my future with you looking bright

All this conversating it's so frustrating
All this in-between waiting that comes along with dating
Masturbating would be just fine
We're just wasting time with these pick up lines

So this is what we're gonna do
You make it easy for me I'll make it easy for you
Just clap your hands just clap your hands
Just clap your hands if you're horny

If you're horny and you know it clap your hands
If you're horny and you know it clap your hands
If you're horny and you know it and you really want to show it
Well get on my lap and do a dance


Aside from that, in my 'proper' record collection, I'd probably have to say the one I actually have the closest to genuine hatred for would be John Martyn's 'Piece by Piece', as it represents to me a concentrated distillation of everything that was wrong with popular music in the 80s. Why in God's name would you want to put synths all over a John Martyn record? If I actually owned it, an even better example of the same principle would be Miles Davis' 'Aura'.
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The toothaches got worse, she dreamed of disembodied voices from whose malignance there was no appeal, the soft dusk of mirrors out of which something was about to walk, and empty rooms that waited for her. Your gynaecologist has no test for what she was pregnant with.
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