[atsonicpark]

[Random ass movie rant post in the style of batreleaser # 7. Just random thoughts, for fun. Not meant to be read, really.]

RONIN - david mamet dialogue is killer / 10
FUCK THE DOCUMENARY - aha.. funny as shit, genuinely / 10

..been watching the anime PANTY AND STOCKING WITH GARTER BELT
lately. download it, it's crazy as shit...

THE PSYCHIC - why do people dislike Fulci? He has made so many great films. I had never seen this one all the way through, yet it's a masterpiece / 10
point break - keanu / 10

...back to Fulci. I'll do a megapost sometime, but damn. LIZARD IN A WOMAN'S SKIN, DON'T TORTURE A DUCKLING, NEW GLADIATORS, CONQUEST, NEW YORK RIPPER, ZOMBI 2, THE BEYOND (surreal, epic, brilliant masterpiece!), GATES OF HELL, THE PSYCHIC, CAT IN THE BRAIN, NIGHTMARE CONCERT, THE TOUCH OF DEATH.... great films. I'm forgetting some. And yeah, he made some shit. MANHATTAN BABY is shit. His westerns are boring. DEMONIA has some cool gore but mostly sucks. HOUSE OF WAX is shit (strangely, this is him and Argento together or something ridiculous). ZOMBI 3 sucks... what else? Uhhh.. .I dunno. Oh, HOUSE OF CLOCKS sucks. Yeah.,, OH, I don't like HOUSE BY THE CEMETARY either, though lots of people do. That little kid's dubbing is horrid, he's like a 5 year old white kid btu his voice sounds like Morgan fucking Freeman. Boring ass film. I think they were trying to do THE SHINING or something with it, that kinda haunted ass shit, but there was no scatman.

But his good films are very fucking good. He has an atmosphere that is unreal. He gets flack "his directing sucks, WHY DOES HE ZOOM IN SO MUCH?" Well, honestly, he is not only a dvierse/creative director (though not as skilled as Argento and Bava, obviously -- who is? Not many -- especially when you consider how fast and how cheap they worked, their films sure did look amazing... but fuck it), he is a SMART director. His style is a bit "Dry", like a horror Lumet or Altman... it's not flashy, usually. But everything is staged brilliantly. I mean, I think Ed Wood is a GREAT director, as is H.G. Lewis... and they get flack, too.. but my thing is, is everything lit? Is everything in focus? Can you tell what's going on? I mean, that doesn't make you a horrible director, then. You may be UNINSPIRED, but what makes a director GREAT, to me, is when you can look at a director's film -- no matter what type of film they're making -- and within 5 minutes, tell who made it. Godard, Jost, Kitano, Cronenberg (and I think Cronenerg is a great example, when you consider how diverse his filmography is; but really, you really can tell EASTERN PROMISES and NAKED LUNCH are made by the same director, just by the editing, the atmosphere, etc... even though both films appear to be quite dissimiliar. Almost all his films are cold on the surface and are interested in sex and psychology, for lack of better words. Eh, I'll do Cronenberg some other time)... and indeed.. LEWIS, WOOD (whose Glen or Glenda is in my top 50 favorite films of all time -- and is in DAVID LYNCH'S top 10! Did you know he sampled the wind sound fx from Glen or Glenda for Eraserhead? iN FACT, he said GoG blew his mind, and it was the film that made him really decide to be a filmmaker; it gae him the courage to do Eraserhead! So, all y'all owe a big debt to Wood!), and indeed.. FULCI... Despite how fake the fx look to most people, there is something (probably the sound fx) genuinely unsetling about Fulci's imagery, in THE BEYOND. the spiders eating through the dude's face.. fuck! !!! The end, with the INSANE void.. that vaccuum of Hell ... jesus. I fucking love it man. Fuck me! Also, that empty road with the blind girl.. GATES OF HELL is in my top 3 favorite horror films ever.. the stilted, ugly spaghetti western chords in the background (with odd sound fx like a woman screaming through a flanger and a guitar practice amp or something). The zombies who appear out of thin fucking air and then disappear (obviously accomplished, for those not in the know, by having a film on a tripod.. don't move a fucking thing, and then have a character move in the shot and then move out. Then just edit so all you see is the character not there, and then the charact there. My films do it, as does FUNERAL PROCESSION OF ROSES, hah. But Fulci's use is very unsetling.. thning of characters just poppingup u of nowhere.. weird as hell)... GATES OF HEL is not even described as a zombie film. But there are zombies in it. There is also a HUGE storm of maggots. Also a big ass drill in a dude's face. Also a woman seeing a priest and vomitting her organs out. Also a priest hanging himself.... the most disturbing thing I've seen in a horror movie is probably the main character getting the back of his head/skull ripped out so his brains spill out.. that has always FUCKED with me...., Let's not forget the end, which always distubs me. a kid runs towards the main woman character (who was buried alive with a scene that looks, sounds, and feels EXACTLY like the scene in Kill Bil volume 2 -- which Tarantino later admitted WAS an homage! Nice!)... she screams, for seemingly no reason.. then, the entire picture "Cracks", like a glass breaking... very fucking crazy.. you know how there are images that stick with you forever? This movie is filled with 'em... So yeah.. PSYCHIC.. not much gore or violence for Fulci, but it's so well made... Oh fuck, that reminds me.. Pedophile child murdering priest falling to his death and hitting rocks on the way down and cracking pieces of his face off, just DESTROYING his fucking face in DON'T TORTURE A DUCKLING... that fucked with me too... LIZARD IN A WOMAN'S SKIN surreal shots, almost DAISIES like in some of its experimental editing and color filters... Man, Fulci rocks.

BANDIT A MILANO - 7/10

oh.....hey, My mom is watching Terminator 2. I bet I've seen this movie 100 times. Man. I was sitting here and I heard HALF A SECOND of the background music and I immediately said "Terminator 2!" and she said, "holy shit! How could you know that?" and I listened to it for about 3 seconds, without looking at the picture and me and Linda Hamilton both said "there are 215 bones in the human body..." haha. That's a great part. She said, "okay, don't look at the tv, just listen for a second and tell me if you know this one." She turned the channel and I heard "OH WELL. GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO SMOKE ALL HIS WEED MYSELF." I said, "oh, keep it here, it's Cabin Fever!" And now I'm gonna go watch Giuseppe. I remember seeing Cabin Fever in theatres and thinking it was the biggest piece of shit ever, obviously a guy with great tastes in movies, Japanese shit and Evil Dead and shit.. Gozu.. whatrever. But I like it a lot now. I also like Hostel 2 pretty good -- it's WAY better than the first one, which I think is garbage. You ever notice the end scene with the kids kicking the decapitated head around is ripped off from Miike's DEADLY OUTLAW REEKAH (great fcuking Miike film, btw... You know what's cool about it? It avoids the flaws of most of Miike's films: it's fast paced, it's inventive the ENTIRE time; not just 3 or 4 scenes that everyone talks about on msg boards, while being padded with a lot of garbage -- see ICHI, which I dont' like at all. THe only other film of his that is genuinely interesting from begining to end is IZO... Kitano, Kazuki Tomokawa, and more surreal moments than EL TOPO, which it reminds me of in parts.. EL TOPO was a surreal experimental existentialist masterpiece disguised as a western, IZO is a surreal experimental existential MINDFUCKING masterpiece)? So, yeah, Roth has excellent tastes. Roth, you know, his best thing ever is THANKSGIVING. I mean, GRINDHOUSE was a failure, pretty much in every sense of the word. Rob Zombie and... EDgar Wrigh (is that the guy who made Scott Pilgrim?).. there trailers.. and even Machete sucked. DEATH PROOF is one of the worst films ever made, if not the absolute worst. PLANET TERROR had enough good scenes for a short -- I really think the film should have been a few shorts, and some fake trailers... have William Lustig (RELENTLESS, MANIAC, MANIAC COP) involved ... you know, talented people who actually can make grindhouse films... you can stil involve TARANTINO and shit, just have people there who know what they're doing. Most importantly, don't make it 3 1/2 hours long. The thing is, Eli Roth's THANKSGIVING.. fuck, that was good. He showed a real knack, a real intelligence. I mean ,Tarantino has good tastes -- he loves CHUNGKING EXPRESS, THRILLER: A CRUEL PICTURE, FULCI, KITANO, you know.. why didn't he do something like THRILLER or something, instead of some shitty car film? As for Rodriguez, he made .. like .. a zombie film .. I know he loves John Woo. An exploitation/grindhouse film doesn't necessarily have to be a horror film, he could've made a badass balls-to-the-wall Hard Boiled tribute or something. THey should have made short fast paced films that relied on their strengths. But yeah.. THANKSGIVING? Loved it. It kinda reminded me of GRADUATION DAY, and it looked -- filmstockwise -- like GOD TOLD ME TO. Odd... Did you guys know Eli Roth's favorite director is Giuseppe Andrews? He convinced Lloyd Kaufman to put out TRAILER TOWN. He also produced many of Giuseppe's films ($1000 a piece). How cool is that? Anyway, FROM DUSK TILL DAWN was basically GRINDHOUSE, idealized, anyway, just really fucking good. You got Keitel (one of the best actors ever). You got a movie that starts one way (seemingly like a boring crime film), then it becomes a fun grindhouse film. Tom Savini is god in that movie. I love how Cheech played 3 characters. Such a fun, crazyass film! Anyway, enough ranting.