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nah. its the same generic chemical experience. you can pretend that details like the exact shape of her face or the time on the clock when you farted hilariously make it some sort of twee indie unique lovely warm human life affirming rom com experience that validates your faith in the inexpressible yet vital beauty of life but its just a pair of demented and
decaying corpses fulfilling blind darwinian imperatives clouded by neuro chemical drug hits that string them along like the monstrously sad puppets they are (!)
when you finally die, alone and in agony, there'll be nothing in the void communing with anyones spirit and no eternal film reel of your lifes greatest hits repeating on a loop composed of your ethereal essence.
and btw death IS the ultimate agony because even if you go in your peaceful sleep in a bed, you dont just STOP and fade to black the moment your heart stops beating. the heart stops beating and movement becomes impossible, but you actually experience the slow starvation of your brain as it fails to get any oxygen and its probably something like an extreme panic attack times a fucking million. the myth of a peaceful death is just that - a myth, and although the death might seem peaceful to outside observers thats only because you cant move and are trapped inside your dying brain. this is what scientists say btw, not just my own stupid ramblings. they say its painful and not peaceful like we might hope. and they tend to underestimate suffering when they describe it so as to sound professional!
(sorry btw im finished now).
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