View Single Post
Old 03.31.2014, 04:42 PM   #423
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 749
narlus kicks all y'all's assesnarlus kicks all y'all's assesnarlus kicks all y'all's assesnarlus kicks all y'all's assesnarlus kicks all y'all's assesnarlus kicks all y'all's assesnarlus kicks all y'all's assesnarlus kicks all y'all's assesnarlus kicks all y'all's assesnarlus kicks all y'all's assesnarlus kicks all y'all's asses
the latest missive from SRB:

As some of you may know, I am not a very big fan of Facebook. In fact, I'm surprised it's still up and running and that you’re all still here. Man, somebody just last week told me that Rou Leed passed away? Shit, is Paul McCartney still dead? What else did I miss? Who had babies? C’mon, who’s repopulating? It’s been over a year since I deleted the original SRB Facebook page and holy snapping arseholes, what a year it’s been. I relinquished a fair amount of dead weight, crawled out from underneath the house, and since I was homeless, decided to venture out of the country, eventually stowing away on the USS Fuckstick. Next thing I knew I was living in a converted sheep house on the grounds of a fancy estate built in 1722 on the outskirts of Geneva, Switzerland, near the Lake Geneva shoreline (insert Deep Purple reference here) - how that carrier got into a landlocked lake is still a mystery to me. Regardless, this particular estate had a well documented history of hosting clandestine meetings over the years between some of the world's biggest movers and shakers: bankers, judges, media moguls, corporate CEOs, presidents, prime ministers, generals, popes, pedophiles, ambassadors, and a whole slew of other foreign dignitaries, perhaps even Bono himself. While in the land of watches, cheese and chocolate, I managed to record over six hours of new music. When the weather got cold I hightailed it over to SE Asia where I recorded more new material and continued to work on a number of secret projects. On the way I made a quick stop in Moscow but never left the airport transit zone. I was there just long enough to trade briefcases with a client. I have spent the past four months in Thailand. I would like to make it clear that I have had nothing to do with any of the protests or violent clashes that have been taking place in Thailand over the past 4 months. It’s a coincidence. That’s all it is. Did I mention I’ve made some recordings? Right now there’s a gecko outside my window saying “Fuck Me” over and over! I will be landing in Cairo in a few hours - it’s Spring!

What was I….oh, Facebook! Yeah, so 2014 is going to be a wild ride, see? Things are happening. Can you feel it? Somethings not quite right. For example, I have three new vinyl releases coming out real quick-like, probably before this paragraph ends, and they’re all fucking swell. And who the hell knows, there could be even more before the year passes. It’s hard to get the facts nowadays. Then there’s the SRB Fall clothing line, the publishing house, the updated website, and of course, the lawsuits. I’ve got a European tour starting soon and I am planning to do a US tour this summer. But since I have been away for so long, I have to ask - is it still legal for musicians to tour in the US? Either way, there is so much happening and I want to make sure that the all the pertinent information gets out to you, the people. Yeah, power to the people. Right on, man! This is why I’ve levitated back: according to my sources at the NSA, CIA, DHS, FEMA, and many of the other alphabet soup agencies, it has been determined that even though it has reached its golden years, when creeping dementia finally begins to take hold, Facebook is STILL the number one place to gather…..I mean SHARE information. And it’s all because of people like you! So here it is - the new official NSA monitored Sir Richard Bishop Facebook page - same as the old one. May it fall flat on it’s face!
narlus is offline   |QUOTE AND REPLY|