[luxinterior]

There are a lot of people who I think are better looking than me, but I wouldn't want to look like them.

I think my hair has a nice color, thickness, and texture, though humidity is still a bitch. I like the way my bottom teeth are crooked even after braces (twice). I used to hate my ears, I thought they stuck out, and now I wonder what I was thinking back then because my ears are fine. My nose confuses me because I'm the only one in my immediate family with a nose that looks like mine. My mouth and lips are big, so they make the bottom half of my face look heavier than the top. My eyes make me look perpetually stoned. It's a familiar face, and I'd hesitate to change anything about it.

I think a person's appearance and how it changes over time has a huge effect on the individual's personality. In another thread I talked about how when I was younger I was often mistaken for a boy. This has made a tremendous impact on how I see myself. Today no matter what I look like, or what I'm wearing, I never actually feel feminine. I'm very unaware of being a girl, and by that I mean I'm often caught off-guard in situations where my gender becomes an issue. I hold open doors for both men and women, of all ages, and this usually makes the men feel uncomfortable, but still every time I instinctively hold the door open no matter who it's for. At work there have been times when heavy lifting has been necessary, and I would be over there helping some other employees move heavy boxes around, until one of the ladies I work with would tell me to stop and let the men take care of it. These sort of things make me snap back into reality, like taking a step back from what's going on and seeing everything as it really is. Then of course I notice that it really was me and a bunch of guys moving boxes, and none of the ladies were helping, which I hadn't noticed before.

That's why the idea of doing a self-portrait really puts me off. Because then it becomes girl, brown hair, big mouth, etc, and that's only what I see in a mirror. When I'm out and about I don't think of any of it.