[Toilet & Bowels]

Originally Posted by atari 2600

While I can say that Tortoise have done some work that is definitely better than say, Godspeed You Black Emperor, I still don't take much notice of them.

Allow me focus my discussion on their "song", "Ry Cooder" from their debut album. They thought his name was funny because it sounds like "wry cooter" & not many people that might buy their records even know who blues guitarist Ry Cooder is &, you see, Tortoise are most likely stoners who are really too stupid to be smoking pot. They had some tape lying around of them walking through the house on the hardwood floors & drinking beers & smoking bowls or whatnot & just named the seven minutes of banality "Ry Cooder" because they thought that would be so fucking cute & cool, provide some dynamic to the record, & also function as filler material as a bonus.

The truth of the matter is these people are just insanely (insanely because they are not even conscious of their envy) jealous because they will never in a million years have the patience, intelligence or skill to learn to play like the actual Ry Cooder, so they mock him. Before Mick Taylor supported The Stones, it was Ry Cooder that played on Let It Bleed. Ry Cooder masterfully plays the slide guitar on "Sister Morphine" on Sticky Fingers. Ry Cooder played with The Magic Band. He is perhaps best known for his work on the Crossroads & Paris, Texas soundtracks. Tortoise, since their music is airy, would love to be on movie soundtracks like Ry Cooder, but they know that they never will & blame it on society. Maybe one day they'll record themselves taking a shit while someone meanders on a piano & call it "Nicky Hopkins."

er....