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I think Eminem is intolerable, guys. I didn't always feel this way! When I was younger I found a sort of lovable cartoonish novelty in Em's music. He reminded me of a more "layered" bullshit hip-hop caricature than Insane Clown Possee (who I always felt could have been more interesting if only they'd tried to create a more interesting and multidimensional level of fantasy)
But something about his delivery, his style, whatever cancer of the ear nose and throat he has that make voice sound like an ultra-serious Quasimoto doppelgänger, who rhymes with the frustrated impotence of a child slinging insults in a fight that he is very publicly losing... Something about the whole goddamn package (not to mention those stupid cheekbones of his when he's looking all GQ when he's posing w/ Dre & J. Lovine for a Beats ad) just makes me feel like I've just puked in my mouth.
Not even the Slim Shady LP stands the test of time for me. And -- get this-- I honestly CANNOT even tolerate the songs he's done with artists I like (Nikki Minaj, Rhianna) or even artists I fucking LOVE (Jay-Z). I am just so uninterested, and moreover, actually repulsed by everything about him that I can't abide a single song he's featured on.
There are no other rappers I hate quite that much. For instance, I really don't give a fuck about Ludacris or Memphis Bleek. But I don't skip tracks they contribute guest spots to just to avoid them. Hell naw!
J feel like Eminem is truly the Elvis of hip hop. Just as Elvis came around with a slight, white, variation on blues and gospel, and ended up being the face of these genres, as well as country, soul, and "Rock n' Roll," Eminem came out with a version of hip-hop that rap hating rednecks, fans of rap-rock & nü-metal, and those motherfuckers who said "the only rap I like is Cypress Hill" (in other words: "I'm a big fucking racist!") but still bounced around in Pumas and sagging jeans, saying "yo bitch" and smoking Ritalin in between classes.
I really believe Eminem kept the racism that divided hip-hop from "real music" alive, despite all of his supposed reverence and respect for black people." He was never really given the whole "cultural appropriation" treatment from the media, and what's really fucking strange is that a *majority* of the young black men I know (who are really very accepting of my pasty white Irish office boy ass, and for whom I am quite the token *white* guy, like Bryan Cranston's character on Malcolm in the Middle (haha... Anyone? Please tell me you know what I'm talking about) ... Anyway what's strange is that everyone in this group of friends I occasionally play pool, talk sports and music, and occasionally have a few beers with after work... EVERYONE sites Eminem as one of their favorite, if not their favorite, emcee of all time.
Granted, they're mostly younger guys. Old enough to have kids and and wives, but still, their average age is somewhere between twenty-four and twenty-six, making them (sigh) ... Much younger than I am. So they really grew up while Em was the biggest artist in popular music, irrespective of genre. But still, they LOVE him, and talk about him like he's fucking Michael Jordan!
So that is what really plucks my feathers. I don't think Em deliberately appropriated shit. I think he was genuinely a devout lover of hip hop, and I think he was blind to color. No matter what you think of him, it takes serious cahones to come up in Detroit's battle scene when you look like howdy doody. But he definitely gave the racist fucks of the world a ton of help. Finally you could be white and love hip-hop and not be written off as completely non-legit, even if you only liked fuckwads like Em, Everlast, fucking House of Pain,
and Cypress Hill ( who I actually love, by the way.)
Anyway, I just find it odd that my friends believe Em to be the best ever. Though to be fair, they aren't old enough to remember ATCQ, and they know the name "Wu-Tang Clan" but they don't know Wu-Tang Clan.
Am I a terrible person for even writing about this topic?
Anyway, fuck Elvis and his stupid guns and sequins... Fuck Nixon too.
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