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and then a few years later it was just completly gutted and became this vacuous lifestyle crap. not scout and not completely everett true. But they started selling blazers and converse everywhere, plan b started to appear in every newsagent. whereas before it would have made my month to find either of those anywhere. the idea that a band like mbv would ever play another gig seemed like an impossible fantasy back then, and then they did and it feels so cold and empty that its happening and i just don't care enough to go because if i did it would just be mainly boring people drinking beer and getting enthusiastic because they are so comfortable with this reproduction of a cool past that noone could possibly be embarrassed by. i know nothing would happen and there would be no real freakery just a carefully organised enjoyment that appears cool and contemporary without mentioning the anxieties of the present, so everyone can relax. The word indie became synonomous with the most bland normal white boy guitar rock, it became the most sickening disgusting inoffensive positive garbage ever. it became rich and sterile and hedonic, not that indie wasn't always like this to an extent, it was partly just my own discovery of things. but bands like dino jr. pavement pixies sy mbv that i care little for now but at the time was being enraptured by seemed so special precisely because there was this distance between them and everything else and they were weird compared to everything else i knew. but i've totally gone all nostalgic which i think is a mistake and to be discouraged because its like a disability when it comes to music holding you back and keeping you conservative. when people start with the 'it will never be as good as it was back then because my memories are such a safer place than the uncertain future' then they're dead for sure.
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