http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mitch_Hedberg
The greatest one ever is probably on that page somewhere
Fry: What’s so wonderful about Leela being normal? The rest of us
aren’t normal. And that’s what makes us great. Like Dr. Zoidberg. He’s
a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage and does.
Zoidberg: Damn right.
Fry: And the professor’s a senile amoral crackpot.
Professor: Oyeeaii. (waves)
Fry: Hermes is a Rastafarian accountant.
Hermes: Tally me banana.
Fry: Amy is a klutz from Mars.
Amy: Whoops. (drops her glass)
Professor: And Fry, you’ve got that brain thing.
Fry: I already did!
"I wasn't wearing it...I was eating it" The sadness in Zoidberg's voice always makes me laugh