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Originally Posted by demonrail666
UK Show Demographic.
1. The Blast First Posse.
Tend to stand more towards the back at shows these days. They're primarily male, 30s-40s and will usually wait until SY play Brother James before going home to listen to some Big Stick on vinyl.
2. The Wire readers.
Again mostly male, 20s-40s, usually more into checking the support band, wearing a Merzbow T, Nike sandals and sporting either a William Reid haircut or a #1 skinhead. stand close to the front so they can see what gauge strings Lee is using. Wishing they were back at the ICA so they could compare notes about frequency saturation and Evan Parker with their two friends.
3. The Noiseniks.
30s-40s, exclusively male. Come more out of ritual these days, wishing the band still sounded a bit like Swans. They'll be wearing a greying Confusion is Sex T shirt and standing at the side, right in front of the PA so they can spontaneously shit themselves everytime things get a little loud. They'll also be pretty drunk.
4. For the Love of Kurt.
Early 20s, mixed male and female, doing Fine Art at Uni, edging closer to Emo these days when it comes to dress but will definitely be wearing a Goo T shirt. Bull in the Heather and Dirty Boots will get a massive cheer. The guys will all be looking at Kim whilst the girls will be remarking just how much Thurston looks like the guy from Happy Days. They read the NME every week but insist that they hate it. They'll sneer at people younger than them wearing Nirvana Tees.
5. The Guest Listers.
Ex-members of Lush, My Bloody Valentine and at least two members of Teenage Fanclub. The guys look like Bob Mould, the women like Meg Matthews. They think Sonic Youth are 'just great to still be doing their thing'.
6. MTV 2 Brigade.
teens-30s, Bought tickets only because the Flaming Lips show had sold out. Spend the entire time prior to the band coming on talking to their five friends about a Bonnie Prince Billy track they downloaded. Mostly male, they worship at the alter of Beck. Likelyhood of seeing one of them in a Deerhoof T is very high.
7. The Hoxton Massive.
20s-30s, mixed male and female, they'll either be wearing an ironic Motley Crue T Shirt or else an ESG hoodie. 100% Converse and sporting an iPod. They have a couple of Sonic Youth albums at home somewhere but right now they're 'sort of listening to rockabilly shit man'. All the guys will be called Ben, for some reason.
8. The Aging Fall Fan Contingent.
These will turn up exactly two songs into the set, usually with their wives. They will chuckle knowingly when Lee gets a bit 'Prog Rock' on Mote. They'll dress like alcoholic postmen and look disdainfully at the increasingly youthful audience. They'll leave before the encore so they can get enough sleep before work the next morning. A lot of them will be called Dave and all will own at least one Captain Beefheart album. They will be wearing shoes.
9. The Terrorizer Readers.
These have a lot in common with the Noiseniks but are generally younger (20s usually). Their hair will be long, sometimes dreaded, or else completely shaved off. They'll be wearing DMs, black combats and either an ISIS or (if they're a little older) a Godflesh t Shirt. All of them, without doubt, will be male. Their minds will wander to happy memories of Converge shows whenever Kim sings, impatiently waiting for another dose of feedback. Some of them may attempt to stagedive during Pipeline/Kill Time. Deep down, they'll all be wishing that A. they were watching Neurosis instead, and B. that at least one of the women in there would be prepared to rid them of their virginity.
10. The Barlow Lou-kalike.
There will be lots of these, but all will have come alone. They will look like Lou Barlow, obviously, and stand exactly midway between the bar and the stage. They will watch all the support acts. Chances are that if they're not wearing a Sebadoh T Shirt (underneath an open untucked shirt), then they'll be sporting a fading Dinosaur one. In the gap before the encore, they'll shuffle towards the stage to check out Lee and Thurstons effects peddles. He will buy a T shirt from the vender at the venue.
11. The Neo-Riot Grrls.
They're here to see Kim, basically, to get some style tips that can replace their current fascination for the 50s sweatergirl look. Needlessly to say that they'll be female. Most will be in their early 20s. They'll desperately try and avoid the constant longing gazes from the Lou-alikes. They will dance during Kool Thing. The Lou-a-likes will swoon.
12. The Albini-for-President Army.
These are declining in number and quickly turning into an equivelent of the Aging-Fall-Fan. They'll stalk to the bar everytime Kim sings. They might be wearing a Shellac shirt and their hairstyle will be 'sensible'. DMs or (black) Converse and black Levis will finish off their (anti-) look. They'll go home thinking the show was '"shit".
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