[Pookie]

Originally Posted by Danny Himself

Dear Pookie,

I am in a sorry state. My heart is well and truly broken in two, like a biscuit in the hands of some careless soap opera enthusiast. I won't divulge the full details, nor will I bore you with an extensive narrative (too late), but here's the gist: I bumped into Zooey Deschanel (Who is this Zooey person. Was she meant to be called Zoe, but somebody jogged the registrars elbow when filling out the birth certificate?) in my local Borders bookshop. After a heated discussion over whether or not bare feet should be a social faux pas, we were married, right in the middle of the shop.


Well, I awoke in despair. (I awoke in dis pair:

 

, but that's another story) My sheets were all tangled about and I could hear 'Neighbours' blaring in the living room next door (Do your neighbours offer blare in your living room? Or was that meant to read "baring"?). It was but a dream! Oh, such cruel tricks the mind plays on a boy's heart. It pains me to live in this reality, where I sleep alone without Zooey in my arms- without Zooey to bake me cookies when I'm cold- without Zooey to just be there.


What am I to do, Pookie? Should I fly to Pacific Palisades and seek out Zooey in person, declare my love, and propose marriage?

Yours truly,
Daniel 'Himself' Fitzgerald

Yes.