Well... your only solution would be buying a
Gibson Les Paul Robot or and SG Robot. It's the only kind of guitar that does tuning automatically (i think). You can make custom tunings, although i don't know how it would behave with extreme tunings like the one atsonicpark said. check better
This is not a very good solution. it's very expensive, and it may not be your taste in guitars and is definitely not a sonic youth guitar.
also not what your looking for, but still fun...
TC Electronic PolyTune Pedal