I checked my zip code on GameStop.com, and travelled to a nearby mall. I get to the store inside, and notice that the GameCube games are completely out of order alphabetically, and in a bin, as opposed to a shelf...which is only the beginning of my troubles.
I scower the titles endlessly, but see no sign of my treasure. I explain to the clerk that GameStop.com said they had a copy, he checks the pc, and assures me that they do not, but, "There's a GameStop right across the street from the mall, we share an address with them (huh?) they probably have it".
I head out to the one right next to the mall, and everything he told me turned out to be completely untrue. The girl behind the counter was nice enough to point me in the direction of the next GameStop that had the title...25 minutes away. So I further my quest for gaming glory, windows down, sun blazing, only to find that the copy of Killer7 at this store has one of those hideous GameStop cases, and that simply wouldn't do...especially for a game as beautiful as Killer7.
This clerk was nice enough to give me the number to the next store on the list (30 min away...Jesus). I called, explained that I was coming from a long distance, and asked if they too had the hideous GameStop case...they did. Oh fuck. Well, now it's time to head 30 minutes out anyway to check out my favorite redneck trading center. If they didn't have it, hopefully that NES copy of F13 would still be there. No, wait, let me check the mall one more time, it's not that far out of the way, and that clerk was a fucking toolbag.
So I head back to the mall, and skim through the mess of games as thoroughly as possible. THERE IT WAS!!!! ORIGINAL CASE!!!! There was a stupid fucking little NBA sticker on the front, but I could easily peel that off...WOOOHOOO!!!!
I stamp the case onto the cashier's desk with a firm clap. His little bitch-face tightens, "Well, it's not in the computer, maybe we sold it without a case..."
Nope! There's the envelope right there, you fucking imbecile! I grin with pride.
"It was in the defective pile, that's why it didn't show up in the computer, you still want it?"
He shows me the discs, shiny side up - hardly scratched. I honestly think he was just trying to cover his ass.
"YES."
I dig through my wallet, he snaps the discs in, and the case shut. He id's me like a jackass (I often buy booze in the city w/o getting carded...I certainly don't look 16). I pay, I leave, I re-open the case in the car just to see the discs again.
"Fuck."
The goddamn case only had 1 disc slot, no manual, and he clipped both discs right on top of the other. This is bullshit...especially since I had also tried to peel off that NBA sticker, and it left behind a shiny residue. Luckily, I remembered that my used copy of Metroid Prime had an empty 2nd disc slot, and I had recently recovered some stupid Jimmy Neutron game from a fire; I only had to wipe a thin layer of soot off the case with Windex, and it was as good as new!
I traded out the 3 cases, giving Jimmy Neutron the sticker-bathed shitend of the stick, and finally had my prize right in front of me. A perfectly good copy of Killer7 with the original case...sorta. I would've preferred a manual...but beggars can't be choosers.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm about to kill me some Heaven Smile.
