|
Ah.. I think you got it hook line and sinker then. It sounds to me that even if you guys got with someone else, you'd still both secretly wish you were together...
Personally, I've been single, again, now for about 6 weeks and it rules, kinda. I mean... it's hard to put into words how I feel without possibly hurting someone's feelings somewhere (since I know certain people like to check up on me via my posts on this board -- haha!), but fuck it. I think the next time I go into a relationship, I'm going to look at all the pluses... obviously, "companionship", the need to not be lonely, "something to do", etc... all those things seem ridiculous to me. I want more out of a relationship that that. I don't want to use someone, or be used. Er, I don't think I've ever knowingly "used" anyone, but you catch my drift.
Basically, relationships... most of them... kinda seem.... well.... I mean, I always said I love animals but I don't like having "pets". I also don't want children. So, in other words, I don't like the idea of using someone or controlling them. I may have been in the wrong relationships in the past, but I often felt this weird... it may have been mutual sometimes.. but some kind of weird... desperation. Like, I was only in it to not be depressed, as were they. Ultimately, I've found that if you aren't happy in your "single" life, you'll never be happy in a "Relationship" life. If that makes sense.
Personally speaking, I find people fascinating, but usually for the wrong reasons, and am attracted to all the wrong qualities in everyone else. I'm also someone who refuses to fight or argue, which is absolutely no fun at all to any of the girls I've dated who seem to exclusively want to tear me apart for whatever reason.
So, yeah, it feels good to be single right now. Maybe not forever. I mean, I dunno. Like I said, it has more to do with why I even want a "Relationship". I don't really need someone who is going to bring me down... my last few relationships have ended, seemingly, because the other person was always trying to prove they were better than me. "Oh, you may be into THIS but my IQ is 162." or "Oh, you may have all these intersts and friends and things going on...... but I'M IN COLLEGE AND YOU'RE NOT." You know? It all seems so petty. So many people are concerned with things that are downright annoying, trivial, and stupid.
Anyway..
The main thing I want to point out is that most of us have many great loves in our life, but perhaps only one love that transcends the rest. The one person you'd do anything -- ANYTHING -- for; walk miles and miles for, wait hours and hours for, etc. That's something I've thought a lot about... being in a relationship is perhaps only worth it if you still get those feelings in your stomach when you get on the phone, or are about to see the person you like.. and if they feel the same way, then it's a good match. I dunno.
__________________
|