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Originally Posted by Derek
I just admitted to my ex girlfriend that I was still in love with her and then she said the same to me. I doubt we'll take it further but I'm kind of relieved.
But what's funny is, I think I will always love this girl... she was my first proper love, the first girl I really got along with, the first girl I did tons of fun things with and the girl I lost my virginity to. She said she hasn't been bothered with any guys that have liked her cause she felt none of them could match up to what she felt with me and I felt the same towards her. I don't know, I feel really weird right now. Confused, but kind of happy all the same.
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Man, this happens to me a lot. Nostalgia or the past. See, our brains filter out all the bad shit and focus only on the good. We have to ask... was the good worth the bad?
My "First love" was also my... third love or something. As we did the whole "break up for years and then get back together" thing. And then we broke up again. I think about her a lot, and obviously we still love each other, but you know what? All I have to do is remember all the bad shit.
And, with you, there may not be a lot of bad shit to remember. I'd say go for it. There's a familarity that is comforting. There may be some awkwardness but it will pass. I'd take comfort anyday, honestly, than trying to meet someone new and have to explain to them what I'm about.
My problem is that I've always went after girls who are "Going places". You know... the ones... you know them, the ones who are going to move HERE, going to do this THERE, going to BE HERE soon, you know? I think it's because I'm someone who only is comfortable in familiar situations, so I need someone to offset that -- someone with some life and energy. That spark is actually kinda rare, or at least it's rare to find someone who both has it and is interested in me.
I say, have fun. Life's too short. You're always going to wonder about it if you DON'T get back together, whatever's in the past has passed, so why not test it out/ The worst thing that could happen is you could be where you are today. Which isn't a bad place, probably, but maybe a lonely one?
Personally, I've found that I'm usually even lonelier when I'm WITH a girl -- because it brings out all my worst qualities. I would like a constant companion but the idea of a "relationship" scares me, as what I'm attracted to is that UNSTABILITY -- but what I
need is stability. That contradiction is interesting... maybe.
Enough about myself. Go watch some Kitano with her, Derek, have a good time.