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At the Flanders' house, everyone sits in a circle on the living room floor.
Ned: Well, children, it's Saturday night. So, what say we let our hair down and play "Bombardment"?
Bart+Lisa: Yay!
Ned: ..."Of Bible Questions!"
Rod+Todd: Yay!
Ned: Which version shall it be?
Todd: St. James!
Rod: The Vulgate of St. Jerome!
[Ned looks through the Bible bookcase]
Ned: "Vulgate" it is.
Todd: [disappointed] Aw.
Ned: OK, for one gold star, what Persian king exempted the Levites from taxation?
Rod: Artaxerxes!
Ned: Righty-o!
[licks a star, sticks it on Rod's face]
Much later, Todd and Rod are covered with stars (and Todd even coughs up
some), Maggie has a star, and Maude has two. She looks worriedly at Ned.
Ned: Well...?
Todd: I know!
Ned: No, son, we've got to let Bart and Lisa get one. Come on, this one's easy.
Lisa: [pause] We give up.
Ned: Well, guess! Book of Revelations, fire-breathing lion's head, tail made out of snakes...who else is it going to be?
Bart: [unsure] Jesus?
Ned: [yelling] Je...Jes...don't you kids know anything? The Serpent of Rehaboam?
[the kids look blank]
The Well of Zohassadar?
[the kids look blank]
The Bridal Feast of Beth Chedruharazzeb?
Maude: Wait. That's the kind of thing you should start learning at baptism.
Lisa: Um, ahem, actually, you see, ahem, we were never baptised.[Ned groans and faints]
Maude: Oh! Neddy? Neddy? [waves smelling salts under him] Neddy!
Ned: [wakes up] No, that ain't gonna do it. [faints again]
- "Home Sweet Home-Diddily-Dum-Doodily"
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