[!@#$%!]

Originally Posted by dead_battery

ive done it before, many times.

eventually something happens to me - sometimes it happens after a few days, sometimes after a few months. i basically break down into total depression and get really really really fucked up mentally. something happens to my brain. its just not something that i can get through without smoking. like i feel close to a total psychotic breakdown.

when i had quit for 9 months and this happened and i first had a smoke i literally felt a wave go through my body and my fucking POSTURE completely changed. there is some serious fucked up shit in my system

yeah the body doesn't detox right away from heavy smoking. i just mentioned before that it took me 8 months to rid of a minor cough-- and i wasn't even a heavy smoker.

now, re: the changes. i'm not saying that you're a schizophrenic, but schizophrenics self-medicate with cigarettes. i'm saying this as an analogy-- not to diagnose you.

this is why i suggested observing the payoff of your smoking habit. maybe you do have something for which you're unconsciously self-medicating. this is why wellbutrin (a dopaminergic) is used to help smokers quit-- it's a replacement for at least one of the functions of tobacco (not all).

i naturally have adhd and a tendency towards depression. it's genetic, i can observe it in some of my relatives. lots of heavy smokers on my mom's side--- as well as adhd. i used to do the same but i didn't know i had adhd-- now we know. but in order to quit smoking i have to self-medicate in non-toxic/less toxic ways, or hack/manage my condition, in order to function better.

this of course sounds very fucking complicated but whoever said life is supposed to be easy was fucking lying.