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My girlfriend (I hate that word because, you know, I'm not in high school) and I catch attitude from our friends who are married with kids. We've been together longer than most of them have known each other. And we've know each other for damn near 20 years. Yet they constantly put that kind of pressure on us.
When are you two going to get married?
When are you going to get married so you can have kids?
We aren't interested in marriage right now. We've entertained the idea, but mainly just as a way to legally share benefits. That really pisses people off, who are so into the marriage-as-the-only-manifestation-of-love thing. And as far as kids go, fuck... We've had some scares, and while kids are nice and all (I hear they're our future too), that's one of the reasons we don't want to have them. We were both so fucked up by our parents, and we had pretty good parents all things considered.
I just want to ask all of my married with children friends why the hell they're so down to procreate when all of their folks fucked them up so royally. But I already know they think they can be better. God help the kids born into this goddamn generation.
I just thinking how much of a hero my absent father was to me when I was a child, and how much of a bastard he turned out to be when he decided he wanted to be around a bit. He and I have done more to hurt one another than I even care to think about. More than is called for, under any circumstances. Where love once existed, venom and cancer spread, and now that we're both getting older we're just trying to do some basic reconnecting while we still have time.
It's been awful. I don't hate him. I love him. But weve been awful to eachother, and I don't want really fancy the idea of starting that all up again. And yes people think that's very selfish.
But... People are quite thoughtless and largely useless. Yeah, it's statistically strange that we're not married. So we're weird. Big deal. We've shared a life for years and years and it's been good. Some of my friends are on their third marriage. What we're doing works for us for now, so everyone else can fuck off and fall back.
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