I completely understand and feel the same. I also understand and accept the reasons why they are not continuing as an active band, and support each of their solo endeavors. But there is definitely a magical combination that existed in their collectivity that is not replicable. That's not to say they're not each capable of doing great things individually and with others, because they certainly are and have been. I truly do applaud each of them for moving on with new experiences...they richly deserve that. But I still do feel the loss of the unit. That thing that makes some bands so unique and special is really something intangible and impossible to define. Their work resonated so much with me that it's equally difficult to understand why some people cannot connect with their music at all. I've often thought, probably out of naivety, that people who weren't into Sonic Youth simply hadn't given their music enough of a chance to soak in. Or maybe the connection that fans feel so strongly is really just some sort of complex fantasy with a kick-ass soundtrack. But even if it is, it's been worth it completely and I wouldn't trade it for anything!
I remember the last time I saw them live (but not knowing it was the last time), thinking how awesome and powerful and meaningful it was seeing Kim front and center as always, proudly looking her age. I always loved seeing her there in between Lee and Thurston, at once commanding and powerful while at the same time self-effacing and vulnerable. Their age was never something I ever thought much about, despite the fact that they even alluded to it in their band name! I didn't even think much about the male/female dynamic of the band very often. But at this show, I did think about it. And I thought, wow, there's something even more powerful about a woman at 60 with a guitar, center stage, playing with a group of equally talented, slightly younger men who consider her their equal and that she deserves to be front and center. There's just something very specific that exists in that particular dynamic that I haven't seen in any other band. And there's something so powerful about having that rich history behind them, and as a fan you feel part of that history. There's really no better way to describe the void that their split has left other than to compare it to mourning a loss. That's exactly what it feels like. And you never fully get over the death of someone or something that has meant a lot to you, you just learn how to accept it and hopefully search for other beautiful experiences to enjoy. Fortunately with music, the art is eternal. Even if we don't get to relive the live shows (which is the most difficult part because their live shows were magical), we still get to experience the records and connect with them as a unit in that way. I try to flip it around and remind myself of the fact that this group of people spent 30 years fully devoted to creating the experience that meant so much to us. That's a very long time for a group of people to spend in a creative partnership and be so highly devoted to it...so really, we've been extremely fortunate. When I think of it that way, I definitely feel a strong sense of gratitude.
https://youtu.be/zAAckGSe8-E