[!@#$%!]

i'm too lazy to ever have kept a diary but i keep watch of things and remember them.

even if you could bomb the headquarters of every cigarette company you wouldn't be able to cure your habit, and even if there were no cigarettes you'd go mad like you did when you quit before, so you'd still have a problem. so while cigarette companies might very well be criminal fucks, and they will probably be sued out of existence, your disease still needs a cure.

i get it that all is a part of a larger whole, i do, and i get that things need to be understood that way, but what i'm suggesting is to break it down to small elements that you can defeat easily. the only way to complete very large tasks is to chunk them into manageable parts. you can't kill a mammoth with your fists.

anyway, i will say no more lest you think i'm giving you a "pep talk," but i've told you what i know, and if you can find some use for it great, and if not i'm sorry.