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I tend to always forgive people, even when they are still mad at me. an hour is about the longest that I can carry any grudge and I think that it's bad for the soul to hold it any longer.
I know people that can harbor bad feelings for a long time, but that's just not me.
this afternoon, my mother called me to tell me that my (last) grandfather was put into the hospital today and he is expected not to make it. under normal circumstances, this would be really bad news, but honestly, I don't give a fuck. I hate the bastard.
I really want to find a way to find forgiveness for him prior to his death, but I just can't do it.
there are many reasons why I don't like him, but one the thing that bothers me the most:
I was helping my grandmother out of her chair because her bones were brittle and her back was broken. he was jealous that my grandmother seemed to like me more than him, so he slapped my hand away while I was holding hers while helping her up. the medicine that she took for asthma (prednisone) also made her skin thin, so her hand pretty much came off like a glove into mine when he hit it. needless to say, it fucked me up pretty bad.
I really think that I hate him, and I hate that I feel that way.
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