|
hahaha
yeah i know.
but i really am done this time.
it felt so much better sober. i like to binge on sobriety, junkie that i am. i hog it for myself and i lost all my friends. i wake up every morning and im sober. i need sobriety to even get to sleep or get out of bed.
when im sober i hallucinate better, and have better imagination. when im out drinking with people i just become this ranting ego maniac who hates everyone and just enjoys using them as a receptacle for rants that keep me 100% fake and transport my ego to the realm of utter fiction. i lie so much, about inconsequential things, for the sake of it. just to stay fake, i love it. i always tell them, i don't want my reputation, you can have it. destroy it. when you have contempt for everyone and they are cool enough to know it and have the same contempt for you its all ok.
|