http://members.aol.com/tedalvy/cbq.htm
regarding HIS TALENT: "I am a genius and there's nothing I can do about it."
LSD: "An awfully overrated aspirin and very similar to old people's Disneyland."
SHAKESPEARE: "He was out licking the sidewalks to feel the texture of the souls. I've licked a few sidewalks myself."
THE CONSUMER SOCIETY: "A carrot is as close as a rabbit gets to a diamond."
DRUGS: "It's not worth getting into the bullshit to see what the bull ate."
EVOLUTION: "I think that man has the most highly developed intelligence. I think men get so intelligent that they're stupid."
VIRGIN RECORDS: "They're so old fashioned. I've seen better jokes in bubblegum wrappers."
MENTAL HEALTH: "The largest flying land mammal is the absent mind."
Good stuff.