I can empathize, Severian. I think many people can, actually! I feel like a great underachiever compared to many of my peers, often. Then other times I look back over the arc of a lifetime and I'm quite impressed with what I've been able to do, not least of which has been to make a long and productive career from a bachelor's in English and journalism! Not an easy field to make a lasting career in.
Also, I keep looking forward. At 60, I feel in many ways that I've only begun, and I intend to keep going for a long time to come. Like my golden retriever, I remain eternally optimistic.
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Originally Posted by Severian
You know, I actually think this is kind of a "thing with me."
I am ashamed of my age. In more ways than I'm willing to admit. I'm ashamed of the fact that I have been roughly 5 years older than 85% of my co-workers over the last five years. I feel constantly guilty for how little I've accomplished in my life... so much of what I have accomplished has been purely for the sake of other people. And I'm ashamed that so few of the people that I've re-arranged my life for seem to be willing to even entertain the idea of supporting me (emotionally) while I pursue my own goals.
So while I wasn't truly slamming Steely Dan, and I was, more than anything, responding with self-deprecating remarks to Genteel's comment about gmku being old enough to be my father (which I suppose he is, and good on him for getting that far), I think it's true that I struggle with a covert and warped form of ageism that is a function of my own inability to feel content with myself or my life.
All I see is a big ticking clock.
I'm going through some shit right now. Sorry everyone.
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