in case anyone cared about my positions on world events, here are my plans for my first day in office:
- annex Canada
- convert Mexico into a taco-flavored theme park (yes, everything will be edible)
- declare war on New Zealand
- make Australia the 51st state (sorry Puerto Rico)
- declare war on Madagascar
- eat some yellow cake
- declare martial law
- declare martial law a second time (just because I can)
- nuke Belgium
- declare that Belgium Waffles be forever named "Freedom Waffles"
- declare Arkansas an Al Qaeda training camp
- nuke Arkansas
- create prison camps out of LA and NYC
- nuke LA and NYC
- annex Cuba
- declare my birthday a national Cuban holiday
- declare ninjas the clear winner of the eternal battle between ninjas and pirates.
and yes, this will all be done on the first day.